#i think i had a lot more to say but my mind is just blanking rn 😭
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iwtv-theories · 1 day ago
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The more I think about it
 the more I believe Marius wiped Daniel’s memories & messed with Armand’s childhood memories .
Marius messing with Daniel’s memories would be a parallel to how in the books: Marius (for a while) was a barrier between Daniel and Armand eventually getting back together. And we see in the first episode , Daniel’s memoir (about his faulty memories) was published under Roman Weiss (a possible Romanus easteregg since Marius was prideful about being a Roman). Not to mention the shot where Daniel stares at Marius’ painting and says “never heard of him” while Armand is blurred in the background . This could be another hint that Marius blurred his memories of Armand .
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Plus, when Daniel has archives of Armand and Louis he first types into the search bar “Marius de Romanus” . It could indicate his subconscious may remember something about Marius. Which is why he seems to have such an interest in him.
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Marius forever altering Armand’s loving relationships because he thinks he knows what’s best best for Armand is why he turned Sybil and Benji against Armand’s wishes , and behind his back. So it wouldn’t be that out of character to mess with Daniel’s memories (behind Armand’s back). And I do wonder if he messed with Amadeo’s memories too.
In the books Armand’s dad loved him and was attacked when chasing down the slavers . So , the show change of his parents selling him is interesting. Maybe it’s just an adaption change but maybe it’s more sinister than that . And in the show adaption Marius altered that memory (cause he wanted Amadeo to believe he was the only loving ‘father figure’ in Amadeo’s life/ the first person to ever love him). If that’s the case that opens a lot of other horrifying possibilities . To be fair, it wouldn’t surprise me at all that Armand doesn’t remember certain things because of tra*ma .I believe some of his amnesia is from that.
But, also in the books there were lines that could be recontextualized in the show as foreshadowing that he altered Armand’s memories. where Marius says he wanted to mold Amadeo into his perfect companion. “ to make a blood drinker for my own companionship, indeed to educate a mortal youth for this very purpose, and to GROOM him expertly that he might be the finest choice.”/ “A helpless child. I could mold you and change you, all of which I've done.”
The lines made me recall how Armand in the show mentions “tabula rasa” ( which in Latin means “blank slate”) . In philosophy tabula rasa is a theory that says : at birth the mind is hypothetically a blank or empty slate before receiving memories that shape them into who they are. '
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‘Tabula rasa' originates from ancient ROMAN civilization. The term comes from the Roman tabula, a wax-covered tablet used for notes, which was blanked (rasa) by heating the wax and then smoothing it.  In the books Armand said Marius saw his as a " wax doll". And maybe Armand and his tablet obsession is a word pun. Hm?
Would Marius be interested in testing the theory of 'tabula rasa' in order to make the “perfect companion” ? Amadeo essentially was a blank slate for Marius to shape . He was mute and barely remembered anything of his past before Marius - a blank slate that Marius would have benefitted from. Was this just a coincidence? Did he chose him for this reason? Or did Marius have something to do with it? In the books he wanted to help Armand recall his forgotten memories but the show may go in another direction entirely . There must be some significant reason to introduce this new power to the canon?
Would he try to mess with Armand’s memories even in the 70s/80s???! I don’t necessarily believe he’d go that far to be honest. Unless Armand had such a negative reaction to him wiping Daniel’s memories that Marius decided to just cover his tracks and brain wipe Armand too .In the books , Lestat could ‘mind -read / speak’ to his fledglings cause he drank from Akasha . So since Marius also drank from her - he may (theoretically) be able to mess with Armand’s mind in the 80s. if so, the biggest “telenovela “ twist would be that Armand doesn’t remember devil’s minion either . 😅
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gay-dorito-dust · 21 hours ago
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Oh, should i request it again then?
Damian pining after a male reader, its like his first big crush, its like their first patrol and damians all like "should i confess or nauh..."
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Damian didn’t do feelings, or at least he liked to say he didn’t but in actuality he was raised by those who felt that emotions hindered his potential, his progress and thus installed the idea that the moment he started to feel something; he was bound to become a dead man.
So when he realised that he was developing a crush on you- a fellow vigilante- Damian knew he was a man doomed to fall upon his sword because he felt as though he needed to keep you safe, despite knowing well enough that you were capable of taking care of yourself if you managed to stay alive as long as you had.
However main couldn’t help but notice how vastly different you both were from one another. He had rough edges, a sandpaper like surface that felt like thousands of sharp teeth like fangs, he wasn’t exactly a welcoming presence to others; unlike you as you were the exact opposite of him. You were soft yet firm, strong enough to be able to give other kindness, and wielded a will power of pure iron and unyielding strength to push through any and all adversity.
A true reason for people to hope for a brighter future in comparison to him, but as Dick told him once, opposites attract and it was only natural for Damian to feel pulled towards you that he couldn’t explain. He still couldn’t explain it and it sent him mad at most times, but now that he was here with you on patrol, he couldn’t help but feel that things were becoming clear to him now as your presence tended to clear the fog within his head and help things seem clearer then before.
Now Damian faced a completely different challenge, should he confess to you of his innermost feelings, or remain true to what he was taught and keep the emotions within his chest until he -or they- died. This conflict raged even more within poor Damian as his shoulder brushes yours ever so slightly, causing his breath to hitch and his body to straighten upon instinct, all the while you only smiled at him and Damian damned his heart for speeding up at the sight of such a small thing.
‘You okay dami? You seem a little more brooding than usual.’ You said teasingly.
‘It’s nothing.’ He replied straightforward, his eyes firmly locked on the city you both swore to better, to protect and change.
You furrowed your brows, concerned. ‘Are you sure? If you don’t feel up to going on patrol with me I can always get dick to-‘
‘No.’ Damian almost shouted at the idea of having to deal with his brother talking his ear off about how he missed his opportunity to confess to you tonight, and how he’ll have to try and find another way to set you and him up on a mission. ‘I’ve just got a lot on my mind, I’m sorry if I come off as snippy or rude.’ You smiled and rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing as all Damian could do was get lost within your gaze, words that he wanted to say died on his tongue as his mind blanked everything out but you.
‘Good, I wouldn’t want my Damian to get bored of me now.’ You joked as you patted his shoulder twice before letting your hand drop to your side again before choosing to overlook the city yourself. Unaware that Damian’s eyes had long shifted to you in the process. He hated how you made him feel but didn’t want to live in a life without it either, it was the most frustrating thing he’s ever felt but yet the most beautiful and he wanted to explore it deeper, it reminded him of how he often had issues with how his art came off a times to the point he had to redo the entire piece all over again.
‘Bored? You’re the only person I can wilfully tolerate on patrols.’ Damian found himself saying upon instinct but thankfully for him, you didn’t think more of it other than him being blunt.
‘I’m glad because I’m staring to like you Damian.’ You admitted.
Damian wondered whether you knew what you were saying and the way they made him feel half of the time, but at least you were more open with your emotions then him, so when Damian went back to the thought of confession to you he decided that tonight wouldn’t be the night; he still had time to do so and besides Damian didn’t fell it would be appropriate to confess on a patrol, perhaps an outing with his dogs would suffice instead?
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goldenhypen · 10 months ago
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i cannot even comprehend what just happened someone help me i didn’t realize i was crying until the video was over but omg it was a whole mv omg i’m so proud of him i’m in loveee w his voice omg at the very first moment i already had goosebumps over my whole body also him saying “i don’t think im okay” broke my heart in ways i didn’t know it could. ik it’s just a song but him singing it like that made it feel so real. him singing this whole song broke my heart. he better actually be okay cuz if not i will personally fly over to whoever or whatever is preventing him from happiness and take matters into my own hands 😠 k but omg jake is smth else man he’s had sm potential from the v beginning and these days he’s finally rlly shining and it makes me so happy to see omg ok this cover has given me sm to think about yall pls stream it. stream it for jake. he’s worked so hard. ugh this was actually a masterpiece. tell me he’s okay tho 😭 WAIT ALSO JAKE HIGH NOTES i almost forgot to say- that was insane pls when do we ever get jake high notes???? heavenly. heađŸ‘đŸ»venđŸ‘đŸ»lyđŸ‘đŸ» he was insane for this. truly insane. i didn’t even know it was possible to fall even deeper in love w this man but he proved me wrong yet again. so proud of him for this.
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 5 months ago
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shoto todoroki is fucking shameless. and surprisingly clingy.
he’d done a good job becoming a little more social little by little. he’s still a little wonky and awkward during the few times he tries to make conversation, but he tries and that’s the good part. you’re proud of him.
you’ve known shoto since you were kids, his closest friend, you’d seen him through it all and you’re so grateful that he’s found friends he feels comfortable and happy with, though he always reassures you that you’re dearest to him, which always makes you a little too giddy and flustered for somebody who’s supposed to be his closest friend and nothing more.
you’re in the cafeteria chatting with your mutual friends, shoto had told you to go off without him since he needed to go the bathroom and you found yourself sitting next to midoriya when he’d scooched in next to you, happy to see there was still a spot for him at the table. you liked midoriya a lot, he was sweet, cute and most importantly he made shoto come out of his shell in a way that you regrettably never could, plus the way he flails around when he gets embarrassed is pretty funny.
(you did notice ochaco’s face going completely blank for a few seconds, but you didn’t think much about it.)
after a few minutes of giggling and chatting shoto shows up, and something is immediately wrong with the way his natural straight face goes absolutely dead in the span of three seconds. it’s subtle, but you know him and it’s there. there also seems to be a chill in the room now.
he’s at your side of the table in three seconds, but he doesn’t register your smile in greeting as his cold gaze is glued to the green haired boy next to you.
“midoriya,” and his voice even sounds a little deeper, colder as he speaks like he somehow managed to use his right side on his mouth.
“that’s my seat.” he states calmly.
“oh ! my bad, todoroki !” izuku splutters an apology, but shoto’s eyes do not waver, staying fixed on the boy until he grabs his tray and makes a move to stand “i didn’t realize this was your spot, sorry !”
you feel a little bad at how intensely he’s apologizing, but you’re still shell shocked about that look. shoto seems unfazed though, his expression morphs slightly when izuku goes to squeeze in next to iida.
“i always sit next to yn.”
it’s so stupid. really, it is. how fast that makes your heart beat. because shoto does always sit next to you, he always has and he still always does when you come over to his house. but it’s the fact that he didn’t say he always sits here, in his unassigned assigned seat.
he said he always sits next to you. and your mind and heart races.
you don’t get much time to think because immediately he’s next to you, sighing before sitting as close to you as he can. he looks over to you and you look back, still a little startle but his features are soft again when he looks at you. he drops his utensils to thread his fingers with yours under the table.
“ did you wash your hands, mister ?” you tease, but you squeeze his hand when he squeezes yours. he frowns but it’s not the one from before. it almost looks like a pout and you snort.
“yes, i did.” he snips, you giggle and his eyes soften. even as you assure him you were just kidding he doesn’t mind, he couldn’t be mad at you.
you offer him a bite of your lunch as truce and he leans forward and plops a piece in his mouth from your chopsticks, then offers you a bit of his precious soba noodles and even holds a hand below them so they don’t spill because he insists on feeding you himself.
your friends pretend they don’t see the lowkey romantic exchange, but with the way shoto keeps insisting to have you eat his food and the soft barely there smile when you crack a joke that manages to break through his icey demeanor, they can start to figure out why he wanted to sit next to you so bad.
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foolinafable · 4 months ago
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your wildest dream, his nightmare
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Five Hargreeves x Reader Synopsis: Walking into Max’s diner as a respite after you and Five are seemingly stuck you don’t think you could’ve imagined a better outcome surrounded by various versions of your lover. At the same time, for him it’s nothing more than a bad dream he hopes will end soon. Word count: 760 Tags: Fluff, Jealous Five, Crackfic Note: This small fic because it's funny to imagine jealous Five being jealous of himself
“Come on”
Five grabbed your hand as he led you out of the tube to, probably, another timeline. It must have been a few hours the two of you had been stuck in this place going station to station still with no idea how to get back. 
You turned left but instead of being greeted with the usual blankness for Five to scribble about in his notebook you instead were somewhat blinded by the light of a sign.
‘Max’s delicatessen.’ You made eye contact with Five to the side of you before tilting your head with a nod towards the building. He simply followed your lead before quickly grabbing the door to let you in first. 
You turned back to smile in thanks when you noticed his shocked expression, head quickly turned back towards the diner at a call of your name to see the whole diner was made up of your lover. Looking back to Five, your Five, in bewilderment a shocked smile on your face.
The look on your face seemed to take him out of his stupor clearing his throat before leading you into the diner- trying to find an empty table for you to sit at. He was quickly stopped by another Five, one sat on his own, and gestured for the two of you to sit opposite him. Five begrudgingly agreed as he realised the restaurant was at max capacity. No spare table in sight.
You quickly shuffled onto the brown bench when the other Five spoke 
“It’s rare to see one of you around here” he smiled happy to see you
“Maybe this is not my typical scene” you rebutted a cheeky smile on your face that the Five opposite you seemed to enjoy, dimple now showing from smiling so wide
“Maybe” he breathed out in a laugh 
Before you could continue to speak with this version of Five another one appeared in front of you, this one not wearing a suit or vest. He quickly placed down a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich in front of your Five. He then turned to you placing a very familiar drink in front of you
“Your favourite” he declared when you looked confused  
“How did you know?” You smiled at him eyebrows furrowing as his cheeks went red
“We all know your favourites” he shrugged as if it was the most normal thing in the world
“Um- Thanks” you nodded your head in gratitude 
“Anything for the missus” he mumbled before leaving to go back to the kitchen 
You took a sip of your drink when your Five spoke irritated “What was that about?” a hand possessively stroking at your thigh 
“A lot of us having seen our version of her in a long time” the other Five spoke wistfully   
“How sad” you stated before turning around in your seat you waved and greeted the Fives around you who all became quite delighted at your attention all greeting you with a similar bravado.
“Okay.” Five declared “I think we are done here” he quickly at up pulling you up with him by grabbing hold of your hand once more 
“But we just got here, can’t we stay a little longer and rest?” you asked not wanting to leave. I mean why would you, surrounded by multiple versions of the man who loved you, say no to having his attention on you?
“No, we need to get back to my family in our timeline, come on. We are wasting time.” he rebutted practically pulling you away from the diner seemingly getting even more annoyed as the other Fives shouted goodbyes towards you.
“I didn’t realise I was so annoying, that was a nightmare” Five claimed as you sat on a train hopefully taking you back home
“Sure you weren’t jealous?” you quipped staring at him mischievously
“No” he grumbled arms crossing against his chest
“Then you won’t mind if I-” you spoke moving towards the doors to go back to the diner, quickly shutting up when Five grabbed your hands pulling you back onto the seat beside him. You simply smiled at his look of false ire towards you as the train started to move. Resting your head on his shoulder as he let a smile grace his features giving a kiss to the top of your head.
You hope that at some point you will get to return to the diner- a place you have just coined akin to heaven on earth.               
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felinecyan · 6 months ago
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Reality of Realizations
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[Shoto Todoroki x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: After the Sports Festival, Shoto comes to realize just how awful his behavior was, and he’s determined to make things right.
WC: 3559
Category: Mega Fluff, Awkward!Shoto
This idea smacked me to my keyboard at 3 am and took me hostage until I finished it
 I hope you enjoy it!! â˜șïžđŸ«¶
『‱‱✎‱‱』
In the beginning, Shoto didn’t feel guilty. He felt indifference. To him, U.A. was about succeeding his father without his father’s side of his bloodline, the fire part of his quirk. Everything was about becoming a hero that wasn't like Endeavor. Everything was about getting stronger without using fire.
Friendships weren’t his concern. In fact, he didn't give them much thought at all. He didn’t feel like they would be beneficial to his cause.
For some reason, though, you wanted to be around him. Maybe it was because you saw something in him, some type of potential that even he didn’t recognize. Or maybe you just had a lot of energy that needed to be spent, and being around him was your only means of releasing it. Either way, you never left him alone. You followed him, sat next to him in class, and asked him about his quirk.
And with his current mindset, he was rather annoyed with your persistence. He knew he could handle it himself. He could do well in school and become a great hero without any help. You were a distraction to his goal, and he was not having it.
When you first tried to start a conversation, Shoto looked straight ahead. His gaze remained fixed on the whiteboard. If you continued to be persistent, he would snap at you. It was a guarantee.
As much as he wouldn’t like to admit, sometimes the father-son resemblance would shine through.
You tried again, asking him what his favorite food was. When he didn’t answer, you shrugged and turned your head toward the window—another failed attempt.
Your attempts only increasingly became more annoying as time went on. The same questions, the same responses, and the same outcome:
An angry Todoroki who just wanted to be left alone.
But it wasn't until the Sports Festival that things changed for him. Midoriya helped him realize that his father wouldn’t define him, but his own choices would. It was enlightening, and after their fight, he felt a strong sense of respect for the green-haired boy.
And due to that awakening, he realized just how absolutely rude he had been toward you.
You were one of his classmates, a person who was in the same school as him, training to be a hero just like him. You were someone who deserved respect, and he didn’t treat you the way you should have been.
That guilt settled in.
He was a horrible person.
He had to make up for it.
And, no, a simple apology would not be enough. He needed to go the extra mile and show you that he meant what he said and that he was truly sorry.
The question was, how?
He knew little about you. He never spoke to you, not in the way you had tried speaking to him, so how would he know your favorite food, your favorite color, your favorite animal? How would he know what kind of flowers or sweets you liked?
How could he make you happy when he was the one who hurt you in the first place?
He thought long and hard. He pondered and pondered, trying to think of what you could possibly enjoy, but his mind would draw a blank.
So, he did the only thing he could think of: he asked Midoriya for help. The green-haired boy had that entire notebook dedicated to all the quirks every classmate had, so surely it could give him some insight into how to approach you.
Surely, it would help.
After class, Todoroki went over to Midoriya. He kept his hands in his pockets, and he looked the other way, not quite wanting to see Midoriya's expression.
Needless to say, he was absolutely surprised when Todoroki asked him for help. Surprised and absolutely delighted. The way he started bouncing in his seat with the biggest smile on his face made Todoroki want to reconsider the offer. But before he could retract, Midoriya already had his notebook out.
He flipped through a few pages, his finger stopping when he found your name. Honestly, it was unnerving just how many notes were dedicated to each individual.
Midoriya read your likes and dislikes; apparently, they were all through observation and not from you telling him. Maybe if Todoroki wasn’t so mean to you, then he would‘ve known what you liked, too.
He figured you had to make it obvious for Midoriya to write it down, right? There’s no way Midoriya would be able to figure out that information from just watching.
Then again, his analysis was pretty spot on. He knew what your personality was; he dealt with it firsthand. Of course, at the time, he didn't think too much about it. All he thought was how much he wanted you to leave him alone. Now, however, he wanted you to ask him those questions.
He wanted to be your friend.
He learned that you loved reading books. Not only that, but you loved flowers. Not the typical roses or sunflowers, but the less popular flowers. The type of flower that not a lot of people would think of when thinking about the beauty of a flower.
You also loved sweets, mostly anything with the word "chocolate" in the name. You had a sweet tooth, and it was very apparent.
Todoroki didn’t know why, but he found himself smiling. Finding out your likes and dislikes and learning about your personality was interesting. He wished he hadn’t been so blind before. Maybe then, he could've been friends with you earlier.
But it was okay. He could still become your friend. He could still fix things.
Midoriya had written down a list of things that you would appreciate the most, and then it was on the planning portion.
Gift-giving was still a relatively new concept for Shoto. He never had any real reason to give someone a gift before, and when he did give gifts, it was mostly for his siblings on special occasions.
He never really had the opportunity to buy a gift for a friend.
Midoriya told him that the best gifts were meaningful and came from the heart.
"Think of a memory you have with them. Think of something that they would really enjoy."
But the issue was, he had no memories with you. No good ones, anyhow. They were all trash because he never gave you the chance to have a good memory with him.
"Hey, Todoroki, if you were—"
You always sounded so genuine when asking him those foolish questions, but the moment he turned his head, his glare could have killed you.
"Do you always have to bother me? Doesn’t it get tiring asking the same things, day in and day out?" His tone was harsh, and he didn't mean for it to sound that way, but it was the only tone he ever used on you.
"No wonder your parents sent you to boarding school in America before applying here. I wouldn’t be able to deal with you either."
Yeah, those were his words. Those were his exact words. Not the nicest, were they?
The sentence was completely laced with poison, and even Shoto knew it then. He truly didn’t mean to bring that up; it was a low blow, but the damage was done, and the second it was said, your expression fell.
Shame, really. You were only trying to be nice. You didn’t deserve his spiteful attitude. You were kind and thoughtful, and you were a very good person, but he couldn’t bring himself to accept your kindness.
So, how the hell was he going to be able to apologize to you? How was he going to give you a present that meant something when all his memories of you were filled with his hate?
He sat on his bed, his legs crossed as he held his head. He needed an idea, but his mind drew a blank. What the hell was he supposed to do?
Midoriya told him that a homemade gift was probably the best among a couple of special items. If he made something himself, he could show how much effort he put into it. He could make something meaningful and show just how sorry he was.
But... he wasn't the most creative person. In fact, his creativity was nonexistent. He didn’t know the first thing about making something from scratch.
He knew how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a tasty soba, but other than that, he was lost.
And it wasn't like he could ask for his siblings' help. He took that as a sign of not owning up to his mistakes. If he couldn’t figure this out, then he didn't deserve your friendship.
His eyes were fixated on his desk. His textbooks were sprawled out, and a couple of papers were scattered across the table. He was currently studying for the next exam, and his phone was off to the side, plugged into the wall to charge.
His mind should’ve been on schoolwork, but the only thing he could think of was you. He needed an idea, and soon, because if he didn't do anything, his guilt would eat him alive.
His mind continued to wander.
Flowers, chocolate, a book, a teddy bear.
None of these would be enough. None of these were personal; none of these would mean something.
His eyes wandered from his desk to the window. The sky was orange, a beautiful sunset. He watched as the clouds passed and the birds flew by.
Birds.
Why does that remind him of something?
What do birds have to do with a gift?
He closed his eyes, trying to remember a moment. Any moment, whether good or bad, anything that could help him get a hint as to what to do.
And then, a memory flashed.
It was a rainy day, and you were late.
You were walking and running, but the rain was coming down pretty hard. You weren’t an idiot, so you weren't wearing the U.A. uniform. Instead, you wore a jacket. But even then, you were still soaked.
You didn’t have an umbrella, a raincoat, or any protective gear. You were running through the rain, trying to get to the school before the bell rang.
Luckily, it wasn't too far away.
Shoto remembered seeing you run, and for a brief second, he thought you were an idiot. He wondered why you didn't just take the bus or the train. If you lived near the school, you would've had plenty of time.
And still, even being as late as you were, you were still determined to have your daily conversations with Shoto.
You were definitely an odd ball, but in that moment, a certain memory came to mind.
When you finally made it to class, you were absolutely soaked. Your hair was sticking to your face, and your shoes were squishing with every step you took.
You sat down, understandably grumpy, but you weren’t upset that you were late, wet, or even sick the next day. No, what was upsetting you was the fact that you had lost something.
A hairclip, to be specific.
You lost a hairclip.
It was a clip that had a hummingbird attached to it. The clip itself was silver, but the hummingbird was painted green. He knows this because you wouldn’t stop talking about it.
He remembered you saying that it was a gift from a family member. He didn’t know who, nor did he care at the time, but you cared.
You really cared.
You spent the majority of the day searching for the hairclip. You searched the hallways, the bathroom, the cafeteria, everywhere you could think of, but it wasn’t there. It was nowhere to be found.
And for a week, you wore your hair down, which was the complete opposite of what you normally did.
If only Shoto realized this at the time, then he would've helped you look for it. He was good at finding things, ironically, but the thought didn’t cross his mind, and neither did the memory.
Until now.
In a split second, he bolted up. He rushed downstairs, not caring if he was loud. He didn’t care if his family could hear him; he didn’t care if he was disturbing their peace.
He had an idea, a good one, and it was perfect.
It was the most personal gift he could think of. Throw in a couple of your favorites, and it would be perfect.
He would make you a gift basket, but he would add his own touch to it. Again, he wasn’t that creative, but he had a basic idea. You’d like ribbons, right? Why not a nice bow?
Unfortunately, your specific hummingbird hair clip was long gone, but the internet seemed to have everything. He searched for hours, ignoring his study guide for the upcoming exam, and finally, after what seemed like forever, he found a silver hummingbird. It wasn’t painted green, but it was the same model as your old one.
It was the best he could do. And fortunately, due to the one-day shipping, he would have it by the time Monday rolled around.
He ordered it, and when it came in, he put the basket together. He bought you a book based on your favorite genre, some chocolate, a bouquet of some of your favorite flowers, and then, he added the ribbon.
The clip he put in a special case, away from the basket. He would be giving this separately because it would mean more, and he felt like this was something that shouldn’t be touched by anything else.
And, well, he wanted to see your reaction to his apology. It would be easier to read your expression if he didn't give you both the gift at the same time.
Oh, right, the apology.
He didn’t really think about that, and honestly, he didn’t know how to start.
But the best way to do anything is with practice, right?
Screw that upcoming test. He had something much more important to deal with, and knowing him, he’d probably still ace the test anyway.
He cleared his throat, standing in the middle of his room.
Okay, how would he start?
Hi? No, that was too casual.
Hello? No, it's not formal enough.
Greetings?
No, no, he shouldn’t sound like a robot.
He needed something more genuine, more real.
Maybe... maybe he should start by telling you how sorry he was. Yeah, that would be the best.
He cleared his throat again.
"Hey," his voice cracked, and his eyes widened. He sounded so awkward. That was so not smooth.
He started over.
"I know we haven't spoken in a while," he started. "I'm... I'm sorry for everything I've done. For everything I've said. You didn't deserve any of that."
This felt like a speech. Maybe he should tone it down.
"I
 I was a horrible person, and I wish I could take back all the things I said, but I can't, and I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. And I know a simple sorry won't fix everything, so..."
He went over to the desk and picked up the box with the silver hummingbird inside.
"I want to give you this. I hope you like it."
Okay, practice over. He’s better off winging it. He truly regretted how he acted, so regardless of how the apology goes, hopefully, you can see that he's being genuine.
He sighed.
Hopefully.
The next day came quicker than expected. He spent the entire night preparing, and by the time the morning came, he was exhausted.
But it was okay because soon, he'd be able to see you and, hopefully, make amends.
Panic didn’t set in until he caught sight of you at your locker, picking out your books.
The moment his eyes landed on you, his heart started to race. His throat went dry, and his hands got clammy.
This is it, he thought—all or nothing.
He took a deep breath.
Here goes.
"Excuse me," he started. His voice sounded shaky, but he ignored it. He had to stay confident and pretend he wasn’t nervous.
You turned to him, and the moment your eyes met his, he swore he could feel his heart stop.
Those eyes
 full of utter shock and surprise. You were really caught off guard. And he was, too, because not a single word was uttered from his lips.
"Um," you cleared your throat. "Hey, Todoroki," you smiled at him. You seemed hesitant, and honestly, who could blame you? He had never really been nice to you.
"I was just heading to class, but uh," you rubbed the back of your neck. "Did you
 did you need something?"
The question made him snap back into reality.
He was still speechless, so to fix the awkward atmosphere, he decided just to hand you the basket.
You were obviously confused. Your brows were furrowed, and you stared at the present like it was some foreign object.
"What's this?"
"It's a gift."
Your confusion didn't fade. In fact, it was almost replaced with concern.
"For... me?"
Oh, for the love of
, snap out of it, Shoto!
He shook his head.
"Yes, for you," he handed you the gift, and when you held it, he couldn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat. "I
"
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Look, I'm... I'm sorry. For everything."
You just stared at him blankly, and for a moment, Shoto felt the panic rise. What if you didn’t forgive him?
You were quiet for a while, and his nervousness only grew. He decided to try again.
"You were just trying to be friends, and all I did was push you away. I was so
 rude and cold, and you didn’t deserve any of that. You were just trying to be kind. So, I wanted to make it up to you. I wanted to do something nice and show you how deeply apologetic I am."
Silence.
He didn't know what to say anymore, so he continued, hoping he wasn't making a bigger mess than what it was.
"I also, uh, got you this," he pulled out the case from inside his uniform. With the way you were silent the entire time, he was starting to think you wouldn’t accept the gift.
So, the moment your hand reached out to grab the box, he was relieved to know you were willing to listen.
"I know it’s not your original, but it's the closest I could find. And, well, it's the least I could do, considering how I acted."
When you opened the box, he could see the way your eyes lit up. He was so nervous about this, so scared that you wouldn’t like it, but the way you smiled proved him wrong.
And that smile. Oh, that smile.
He caused that smile. Instead of stealing it away or making it go away, he made it appear.
"Todoroki, I," you were speechless. Utterly speechless, he could tell by the way you looked up at him.
You were trying to find the right words, and honestly, he didn’t blame you. He was in a similar situation.
"You didn’t have to get me this," you said, a bright smile on your face. You were holding the hummingbird gently like it was a precious object. "I probably would've forgiven you even if you didn’t get me anything."
Wait, was that a yes?
Was that a yes?!
Shoto could feel the corners of his lips twitch. He felt himself smiling.
"Thank you," you continued, still holding the hummingbird carefully. "It means a lot to me. I appreciate the effort you put into this. And, um, thank you for the apology. I really needed to hear it. Honestly, I thought I did something wrong, so I'm glad that wasn’t the case."
You laughed a bit, and even if he was confused about why you were laughing at all, he was relieved that you were accepting his apology.
"You did nothing wrong," he told you. "I was the one who messed up. I have issues, but that's not an excuse to be a jerk."
You smiled again, and he noticed the way you fiddled with the box. It was clear you wanted to attach the hairclip.
"I can
 um, help you with that if you want."
The instant nod from you was enough for him to grab it delicately from the box, and when he did, you turned around.
It was a really pretty clip, and it suited you. Whoever originally gave it to you clearly had great taste.
It took a second, but he finally placed it into your hair. When you turned back around, he nodded in approval.
"You look nice," he told you.
"Thank you."
There was a pause.
"Um, did you, uh, want to sit together during lunch? I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I thought I'd ask."
The amount of joy he suddenly felt was unexplainable. You were accepting him, and it was the most amazing thing he had ever experienced.
"Yeah, sure," he nodded. "That sounds nice."
Mission make up with you: success.
The guilt of everything still lingered, and he would have to apologize to everyone else as well, but that could be done later.
Right now, all that mattered was his new friend. A friend that should’ve been his a long time ago.
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megwritesriddles · 3 months ago
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Sweeter Than Fiction àŒŠ*·˚
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18+ MDNI !!!
Pairing: Spencer Reid x F! Reader / You
Summary: Kinktober 2024 Day 7 - Queening / Face-sitting. Spencer meets Reader when she starts working at his local library and he's quickly in over his head. After he goes snooping for information on her online, he finds out a dirty little secret, she writes fanfiction.
Tags: Face-sitting, Oral sex (f receiving), Fantasies, Masturbation, Pining, Friends to lovers, Love confessions, Sub!Spencer, Autistic!Spencer (implied ig?), Both Spencer and Reader are NERDS, Set somewhere between seasons 1-3.
Word count: 4.6k
Read it on ao3! | Masterlist
Authors note: Surprise!! I changed a couple things on my kinktober due to lack of inspiration so here's an unexpected extra Spencer fic!! This is soooo long and the plot is so self-indulgent and ughhh but he eats you out so...!! Hope you like it anyway mwah ( ◕◡◕)っ ♡
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Spencer had never felt like this before, he hadn’t really had the chance to. Crushes had never really been his thing, having been significantly younger than his peers all throughout his education and being staunchly focused on his career ever since. He had physical attractions here and there, like an occasional reminder that he really was just a fallible human man as much as anyone else, but never any true feelings, nothing he ever wanted to try to pursue in a serious way. It wasn’t simple for him like it was for someone like Morgan, in many senses of the word. Not only was he just not socially skilled enough to pursue relationships, whether casual or otherwise, with any success, he also had a large set of difficulties that he would carry into any relationship. He was quite touch averse, not that he didn’t desperately crave it all the same, which could easily cause issues in any physical relationship. He also had a lot of emotional baggage, from his mother, from his job, from his bullying. He felt a mess emotionally and didn’t see the point in trying to bring in another person to see the mess in all its glory. So he kept to himself. He wasn’t completely without experience, but every experience he’d had was marred with difficulty and complication, none of it ever lasted. He was reasonably content to keep to himself.
Until he met you. He’d been visiting the library nearest his apartment since he moved to D.C. for work. One day he walked in and you were sitting behind the desk, all bright-eyed and excited. The attraction to you had been immediate, he’d found you to be beautiful, he liked the way you dressed, and he liked your sweet voice as you spoke to the customer in front of you. He thought it would end there, that he would silently find you attractive from afar but remained more focused on other things. Cursed to stammer nervously at you whenever you scanned his books, but never say more than necessary. For a long time, that’s all it was, until he was taking out a book that, unbeknownst to him, was a big favourite of yours.
“Oh my goodness, my favourite” you chuckle as you pick up the book from his pile. “This book is amazing, you’ll love it, I’m sure,” you smile brightly as you scan it onto his card. His fingers twitch where he rests them on the edge of the wooden counter. He hadn’t been prepared to talk to you, but it’s nicer than most things that catch him unprepared.
“Y-yeah? Uh
 great,” he swallows, drumming his fingers on the counter as you scan the rest of his books, mostly textbooks. 
“Well, if you have any taste that is,” you tease. He laughs back stiffly, his mouth feeling dry. 
“I uh
 like to think I do
” he smiles awkwardly.
“You’ll have to tell me what you thought of it,” you hand him the books and his brain blanks for a moment. You’re inviting him to speak to you some other time, to have an actual conversation. He moves jerkily, taking the books from you and packing them into his satchel. You smile kindly and wave to him as he leaves. “See you soon,”
The way his mind is spinning from that simple conversation, he knows that this is something different. He collapses onto a bench outside the library, taking a deep breath. Why is his heart racing? Is this what butterflies feel like? He rubs a hand through his hair, messing it up. When the anxiety fades away, he’s left with a warm feeling in his chest. You want to speak to him again. He flips open his satchel and pulls out the book you’d said was your favourite. It’s classic literature, something he’s been meaning to read for a long time now, but has somehow never gotten around to. He devours the book in mere minutes, thanks to his impressive reading speed. It’s an amazingly compelling tale, with feminist undertones that were ahead of their time and he feels he understands you just a little better by knowing you like this book. He packs it back into his satchel and stands, heading back into the library. The queue to your desk is a few people long, but he joins it anyway, fiddling with the strap of his bag. You don’t make much small talk with the people in front of him in the line, making it feel all the more special that you’d spoken to him. He reaches the front and you smile, but tilt your head in confusion.
“Forget something?”
“The book was great,” he blurts, and you look even more confused.
“What?”
“The book, the one you said was your favourite, it was phenomenal, and surprisingly progressive for its time! Having those sorts of sentiments about a woman's role in a marriage in the 18th century, while seeming slightly archaic by today's standards, must have caused quite a stir at the time, especially coming from a female author. British law in 1764 actually suggested that women–” he doesn’t realise he’s rambling until you cut him off.
“Hold on, you read it already?” you look disbelieving. He smiles sheepishly. “I only lent it to you, what?” you glance at the clock on your desktop screen. “15 minutes ago,”
“I can read very fast,” he mumbles, looking at the scuff on the toe of his shoe for a moment. You giggle.
“Yeah, clearly,” you study his face. He goes quiet, eyes flickering over the small decorations you had scattered across your desk as a means of personalising your space. “You were saying?” you prompted softly. He looked up at you in wonder, no one had ever requested he resumes an info dump, usually, he was told to shut up and looked weird, but you seemed to wait with genuine interest. Perhaps that was the moment that he was well and truly done for. He steps aside so that the person behind him in the line can get their books scanned. He talks at you for almost a whole hour, getting lost in tangent after tangent as you work. You occasionally pipe in to ask a question or make a comment, but you seem happy to listen. Suddenly, your already beautiful appearance becomes more like that of an angel or a goddess to him. He’s never wanted something so bad in his life. He leaves the library after you excuse yourself for your lunch break. Once he gets home, he sits down on his couch, smiling dopily. Then, it slowly dawns on him that he’d just stood there and rattled on about various topics that he had no clue if you even had any interest in. He buries his face in his hands and groans. Has he already ruined things with the first person he’s ever felt anything genuine for? It was bound to happen eventually, but this soon? He goes to bed miserable that night.
Fortunately, his misery had been for nothing. The next time he visits the library, you’re there, all smiles at him like usual. When he comes to return his previous book haul (yes, maybe he hasn’t used the returns box since you started working here, what of it?), you greet him, asking if he has any more facts for you. At first, he thinks you’re mocking him, but the genuine smile you give tells him otherwise. He scrambles through his mind for something interesting to tell you, feeling less than a genius at this moment. He settles to ask what your favourite animal is, then spends the next several minutes telling you all the nichest information about that animal he could think of. This time, you start to talk too, though instead of spewing facts, you’re telling him personal anecdotes, or about new books the library has got in. The next several times he comes in, you end up talking for long periods of time. You never interrupt him when he rambles and in return he allows you to ramble too, not bothered by the slightest if he has to listen to you for hours. He’d do it happily. Things escalate over time, and he realises the two of you have truly become friends. The thought excites him, as he is closer to the object of his affection, but also because he doesn’t have all that many friends outside of his work. With you, he has somebody to talk books with, and that means the world to him. You text daily, though they’re not particularly long conversations, just whenever something comes up that you think might interest the other. You’d originally given him your email address and he’d explained that he didn’t use email. He felt completely silly, but you’d just shrugged it off and given him your number. Despite that, he still keeps the piece of paper onto which you scrawled your email address, tacked up by his seldom used computer. Just in case.
The team at the BAU tease him relentlessly when they find out about the ‘sweet girl from the library’ that he texts everyday. Any hint of him interacting with a woman, they latch onto like rabid wolves, but when the texts from you keep popping up on his phone now and then for weeks, they absolutely won’t leave it alone. They all know he likes you, even if he’s been very careful to not reveal this fact and they tease him about it. He’s just glad you’re never there to hear it, as he might just die from the embarrassment. One week, while staying back from a case due to a mild cold, he sits in Garcia’s office and watches her work while he does his own. She had insisted he come keep her company, and he hadn’t quite dared to tell her no. He’s scribbling down some notes about the latest crime scene photos they’ve been sent through when Garcia receives a call. It’s Morgan, asking her to run a check on an email address that may potentially belong to an unsub, to see what kind of accounts can be linked to it, and if there’s anything untoward and potentially warrant-worthy. He watches over her shoulder as she types the email address into a program, which spits back out several accounts all over the internet. He rolls his chair over, watching curiously.
“How do you do that? Is it for FBI stuff only?” he asks nervously, twirling a pen around in his fingers. Garcia laughs and glances over her shoulder. 
“No, you can find programs to do this in various places online,” she answers, highlighting accounts of potential interest. He nods, still watching over her shoulder, working his lip between his teeth. He tries to convince himself that he’s not going to do it, even as he asks Garcia to write him down one of these websites. She gives him a knowing look but obliges. He keeps telling himself he won’t do it, and that it’s creepy as he gets the train home, but as soon as he’s in his apartment, he heads for his computer and boots it up. He searches up the site that Garcia recommended and tells himself one last time that he isn’t going to do it, before copying your email address into the search field and hitting enter. He waits as the website loads the results, glancing at the door to his apartment as if you’re going to burst in and tell him off. Oh, how he wishes you’d be in his apartment one day, or he at yours. He’s never really wanted to share a space before, but lately, everything he does he imagines what it would be like to have you there. Your arms around him as he cooks, your head on his lap as he watches TV, your body against his in the bed. The website finishes its search and he takes a deep breath, investigating the results. There are various common social media websites, accounts with academic journals (which he appreciates you for), and a couple of other sites he doesn’t recognise. He clicks on the first and furrows his brows. Fanfiction? He supposes that you are a voracious reader like he is, and you mentioned liking to write, but never admitting to what you wrote. This was it then, was it? Your secret writing? It wasn’t that secret, the account was registered in your name, all the works listed being for books and media that you talked about often. You had quite a decent following, at least in his eyes, you were no celebrity, but you had a decent collection of comments and likes.
He starts to read, beginning with your most popular piece. He digests it in moments, his cheeks burning bright. It was pure pornography. Well not purely, there was quite a well-woven storyline behind it, but the focus was undoubtedly the filthy sex scenes. He loosens his tie, feeling hot. He double and triple checks that this is definitely your account, but it clearly is. He’s feeling a little disbelieving, you had just always seemed so innocent to him, but he supposed the two of you had never discussed sex in any way. Spencer would have combusted if it had ever come up. He inhales the rest of your work, getting unreasonably hard in his slacks as he reads. He’s impressed by the skill of your writing, but more than anything, by how delicious your imagination is. It’s like you’ve plucked every fantasy he’s ever allowed himself to have out of his brain and written it up with beautiful flowery language. He doesn’t know half of the characters that you’ve written for, but it doesn’t matter to him, as he imagines the two of you in their places and it works perfectly. Almost like it was written with the two of you in mind. He discards that thought, but not before noticing that you’ve been writing a lot more in the past few months you’ve known each other. He notices how many of your stories centre around a more submissive male, a favourite trope of yours seeming to be having the female partner sit on their face. He imagines you sitting on his face and groans aloud, having to palm his bulge through his slacks. He imagines you’d be like the protagonists in your stories, dominating but kind. He reaches into his slacks to stroke himself, not something he does often, but something that has certainly been more frequent lately. His eyes skim a passage of one of your stories as he tugs at himself, picturing your face between the words. He cums harder than he thinks he ever has because this feels that much closer to the real thing. Once he’s done, he sits catching his breath, staring at the mess on his hand and stomach. He thinks he should feel ashamed, but he’s still aroused, terribly so. He wishes he could show you what you do to him. Before he can stop himself, his aroused brain much less intelligent than he usually is, he makes an account on the site with his name and leaves a comment on your most recent work.
“This was the hottest thing I’ve ever read,” 
He sends it and sits back, wiping the rest of the residue off his stomach. As the haze of arousal lifts, he realises what he’s done. Panicking, he tries to delete the comment, but there’s no option to. He swallows, taking a deep breath. It’ll be okay, he tells himself, if she ever notices, I’ll pretend I was just being sarcastic, teasing her for writing this kind of thing, not genuinely rocked by it. However, his phone is already ringing. It’s you. You never call. You couldn’t have seen the comment already, could you? He seriously debates not answering, even as he’s desperate to hear your voice. Against his better judgment, he picks up the phone.
“Am I speaking to SpencerReid1981?” you chuckle over the phone, your voice teasing as you recite his username. His plans to pretend he was mocking you go out the window the second you talk. He can tell you have one over him by the confident tone in your voice. You’ve had one over him since the day you first met. 
“Y-yeah,” he relents, seeing no way out of this now. What would the chances be of another Spencer Reid born in 1981 having commented on your fanfiction? If he wasn’t so nervous and lingeringly aroused, he could’ve told you. He decides to just be earnest. “You’re a really good writer,”
“How did you even find me on there?” you scoff, laughing gently. He blushes, glad you can’t see it.
“You don’t want to know,” he mumbles. There’s a moment of silence.
“So
 you found it hot, huh? What part?” he chokes slightly on his spit, going bright red, you can probably tell, even through the phone.
“Don’t make me say it,” he squeaks. You hum softly on the other end.
“Oh come on
 you started all this,” you coax. He’s silent for another beat, you hear his laboured breaths on the phone. 
“The- when- when she uh
 sat on his face,” he stutters out. You smirk.
“Really?” you stretch out the last syllable in a playful manner. “You a big giver then?” you say it to tease him, expecting him to sputter and deny it, to beg to change the subject, but he doesn’t.
“I– I would be for you,” you both go silent, you in shock and him in fear of your reaction. You’re dumbfounded that he would ever be so direct with you. It’s been clear to you for a while that he has a thing for you, you’ve caught his lingering looks on your lips or your thighs, the way you’re able to fluster him, but you’d assumed he’d dance around it forever. He’d just essentially admitted, leaving it hanging in the air.
“Come over,” you answer simply, hanging up the phone before he can ask questions or change his mind. Spencer feels completely dumbstruck by your words. Come over? His legs are carrying him to his door before he can think about it. He grabs his bag and his coat and hurries to his car. He’s never driven so fast in his life, he’s only been at your place once, to drop you off after your work, but the way there is memorised like the back of his hand anyway. He worries in the back of his mind that he may get a speeding ticket, but any fine is worth it for you. He’s sprinting up the stairs of your apartment building, his long frame moving nimbler than ever before. He reaches your apartment and knocks at the door.
You answer the door, dressed in some loungewear and he suddenly realises how real this all is. He stands there staring, unable to do anything else, even as you greet him and tell him to come in. You have to take his arm and pull him inside, your hand on his arm lighting him on fire. But he’s shy again, he needs you to take control of this because he has no clue what he’s doing here. He’s never done something like this before, and he's never been so reckless. Did he even lock the door when he left home? You look so beautiful that everything could be stolen from him and he wouldn’t bat a lash. He fidgets, looking anywhere but your eyes. You’re talking to him but he can’t figure out what you’re saying, his brain feeling like mush. He tries his best to pick out some words from the pleasing hum of your voice. You’re saying something about your bedroom. He connects the dots when you start to pull his arm.
“Wha- wait, what are we doing?” he asks, his voice shaking. You freeze, tilting your head.
“What do you mean what are we doing?”
“I mean– uh– I wasn’t really– are we
?” he stammers, his fingers fidgeting. 
“Don’t you want this?” you frown, worrying you’d misread this somehow, even though he’d come rushing over here. He stares at you, eyebrow twitching. You move closer, gently smoothing your hand up his arm. He closes his eyes, losing himself in it.
“Yeah,” he breathes, even though he’s not entirely sure what he’s agreeing to. Whatever it is, if it’s preceded by you touching him like this, it must be good. He follows you like a puppy as you guide him to your bedroom. You place your hands on his chest and he whines, somewhere deep in his throat. The feeling is just so overwhelming in all the best ways. His eyes are wide staring down into yours as your fingers twist, gripping his sweater vest. You lean up, touching your lips to his and he’s whining again. He kisses back, his hands finding your hips, hovering. Your hands are raking through his hair.
“Lie on the bed for me,” you mumble between kisses. He shivers.
“Are you going to sit on my face?” he asks bluntly, needing to know if he’s getting what he’s been thinking about non-stop since earlier this evening, probably even before that. You chuckle at his candour, he’s always been like this and it’s endearing that he’s no different in this situation.
“That’s the idea,” you grin, tilting your head to the side to press closer as you kiss him. He shuffles toward the bed and you push him back to lie down, disconnecting your lips to pull his sweater vest off. He looks up at you pleadingly until you lean down to kiss him again. You straddle his stomach, his hands lie awkwardly at his sides. His breathing is erratic and his fingers fiddle nervously with the material of your sheets. “You okay?” you ask between slow wet kisses.
“Just nervous
 I don’t– I can’t disappoint you and I– I don’t really have a lot of experience here,” he admits, his lips pressing needily against yours between words. 
“It’ll be fine, I’ll take care of you,” you promise, he nods against you. Even he’s surprised by how much he trusts you. You pull back, watching as he stares up at you, his eyes practically black. He’s panting heavily. You pull your shirt over your head, feeling his hips buck under you as your breasts come into view. He’d always known every inch of you would be perfect for him, and he was right. He was a genius after all. You move just enough to shed your pyjama pants, taking your underwear with them. You stuff your panties into Spencer’s slack pocket with a wink. He takes a shaky breath. 
“Thank you,” he exhales, eyes drinking you in. You giggle, shuffling up to straddle his chest. He swallows loudly, his mouth watering from the little glimpse he can get, craning his neck. “I’m so
 glad we’re doing this,” he whispers. You chuckle again at his behaviour. You stroke his hair gently and his eyes flutter. He usually hated unexpected touch, but everything you did was blissful.
“Ready?” you ask softly. He nods, eyes fluttering back open, determined to get a glimpse of you that he can commit to memory. 
You lift up and shuffle yourself over top of his face. He gasps like he’s just seen God. You, spread open above him, glistening with want. He grips tightly at the sheets, trying to keep himself grounded as the heady smell of you fills his nose. He leans up and places a gentle, experimental kiss on your folds, whining as he does so. You hum softly, leaning forward to brace yourself against the headboard. Puffs of breath wash over your core for a moment, before Spencer leans up, flattening his tongue and laving it against you, up and down, slow and steady. You can tell he’s still finding his way, so you let yourself enjoy the gentle pleasure. You sigh encouragingly as he gets acquainted with the area, exploring it with the tip of his tongue. Never in a million years would he have guessed that you tasted so good. Though he was new at this, he knew anatomy well and knew the spots he’d be looking for. His tongue finds what he assumes to be your clit and he gives it a soft kiss, feeling your hips gently buck. Success. He swirls his tongue carefully around it, not wanting to overwhelm you. Your sighs increase in volume. Spencer takes a chance, lifting his hands and wrapping them around your thighs, pulling you down so you’re more seated on his face. You gasp slightly and he smiles, eagerly returning to his work. His tongue laps at you hungrily, getting into a rhythm. He breathes through his nose, not wanting to stop what he’s doing for even a moment. The taste of you gets stronger and stronger against his tongue as you approach your peak steadily. He groans at the taste. Your hand snakes down into his hair, gripping his long locks to keep yourself anchored. You moan above him, your head lolled forward against the headboard. As he starts to focus his tongue more pointedly on your clit, flicking gently like he read to do in a book once, your hips rut slightly. 
“Suck it,” you pant. He doesn’t register your words for a moment but when he does, he happily complies. His lips close around the little nub and he sucks carefully. Your hand tightens in his hair and you wail in pleasure. You grind yourself down onto his face as he suckles at you gently. You both know what’s coming and while Spencer is thrilled he could get you there, he almost doesn’t want it to end. It’s as if you read his mind. “Don’t stop,” you whine, your eyes squeezed shut, nails digging slightly into his scalp. He pulls you closer to his face, focusing all his efforts. He switches fumblingly between licks and sucks, but it seems to be working nonetheless as you become louder and louder. “Oh! Spencer!” you cry out, your whole body shuddering. He almost comes in his pants at the sound of it. “Ooooh!” you wail, reaching your peak. Your body tenses and then releases, going limp with bliss. His lips stop moving and he stares up at you, waiting for your next move. “Oh, that was amazing Spencer,” you sigh, sluggishly moving down his body until your faces are level. He licks his lips, gazing at you adoringly. You reach up to wipe his wet chin with a small smile.
“I was okay, then?” he chuckles nervously, his hand coming to your waist, a little unsure.
“What do you think, genius?” you tease, kissing his temple. He sighs and flutters his eyes closed. Everything had happened so fast, he wasn’t sure what this meant for the two of you and your friendship, so blinded by lust when he got over here. But you were kissing down his jaw and neck, not indicating that you were kicking him out, and he felt a little better for it. He notices that your lips are straying quite low, over his chest and stomach through his shirt. His eyes flutter open and his breath hitches as he sees you gazing seductively up at him.
“Wha–?” he stammers as you start to unbuckle his belt.
“Returning the favour,” you smile, pressing kisses where his shirt had ridden up. He moans softly, his brain starting to turn to mush once more.
“God, I love you,” he gasps. You both go still for a moment as his words sink in. He can’t believe he just said that, especially right now, with your head hovering over his crotch, even if he desperately means it. He opens his mouth to try and fix this but you beat him to it. You press a kiss just below his belly button.
“I love you too,”
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xoxoxo
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thedivinetarot · 2 months ago
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Chakras check-in
All about your chakras current energy and blockages
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☆How to chose the perfect pile for you?
Okay, Take a deep breathe. Close your eyes, clear your mind and ask the question in your head. You can ask your spirit guides to guide for the information that is meant for you.
☆ Who this reading applies for?
- All people there's nothing specific.
- If you are not into spirituality don't read.
☆ Note:
- Thank you for 600 followers. I'm very grateful that our community is growing in number. Also I'm happy to connect to those beautiful souls💕.
- I'm feeling soft so I chose the pink theme 💗.
- I'm also very happy and grateful for your positive feedbacks. I feel proud when the reading resonates with a lot of people.
- I felt very called to do this reading even though there's another reading that is almost ready but I chose to do this because I felt like my intuition is drawn to it.
- Put on the seat belt because this is going to be a long reading.
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Pile 1 - Bunny nose 🐇
Your current energy:
Hello pile 1, how are you? I hope your are doing good. Right off the bat I think that you may (in the past) had a rough childhood where there was not enough financial stability. I see that you went through poverty and now you are trying to recover from it. This piles energy is very strong, swift and young. Also I feel like I'm intimidated, you intimidate people pile 1 I feel the dread all of sudden. You may look scary? Or your appearance make people uncomfortable? People may have claimed that you are intimidating and your aura is so frightening. I see that you may be young or your energy is young I'm picking up on someone between 17 to 30? The age is not important but it could resonates. I don't know I feel intimidated and in awe of you I feel also suffocated, do you have respiratory issues pile 1? Tell me in the comments. Anyways, back to the reading; I feel also that my mind suddenly went blank. I feel like I wanted to say soooo much things and it all went blank. You may have trouble in concentrating, I feel also that some of you suffer from sudden panic attacks. Okay, I feel like some of you are very unhappy with how things are in your home. Your family is so annoying or they interfere with your life a little bit too much. I see that you feel unhappy with them and some of you are quite talented. You are a master manifestor pile 1. You can manifest your dreams, I see also that after the energy have gone (I mean the intimidation) I felt warm. Maybe this is your personality. You may frighten people at first and when they warm up to you they feel warm. I see that you are someone who is very skillful, I see that you are creative, enthusiastic, and determined. You may feel very stimulated in philosophical conversations, I see that you may like debates that aim to change people's points of view. I'm sensing major INTJ, ENTP vibe. Unapologetically scary, sassy and smart too. I'm sensing that some of you already live far away from their family. You may be a college student living in dorms and doing their own things. (The energy is so intense omg).
Confirmation placements for you:
Taurus, Sagittarius, Pisces, gemini, Venus in taurus. Mars in sagittarius or mars dominant, neptune, uranus, mercury dominant. Sun or moon in the 2nd, 3rd, 9th, 12th house.
Your crown chakra
Well, I see that some of you are atheist and if not then you may have lost faith in God. Pile 1 you have a spiritual gift and you are connected to God more than you think. God always listen to you and God give you updates too but you are unaware of them. I feel like whenever your intuition tell you something you think that it is pure crab and you think it is just your inner dialog. But it is more than that! Pile 1 I see that God or universe is trying to heal you so it send you a very sweet and caring spirit guide. Your guide loves you and want you to know that no matter how much you deny its existence they'll always be there to guide you. They are telling you that they want to show you the magic or manifestation, they always listen to you talking and rambling about stuff and they want me to tell you that "be careful of what you say because it will come true". They also want you to listen to the updates given to you and never ignore them.
Your third eye chakra
I told you pile 1, you may be clairvoyance. Because your third eye is open and the energy is flowing through it. But the problem is your connection to the universe or God, you need to balance the crown chakra in order for you to get regular updates and guidance from the universe. I see also that because your third eye is open you can see through people. Some of you may see auras and if not them you can see through people's intentions.
Your throat chakra
Your throat chakra is blocked. I see that you may have a crush on someone but you are too discouraged by approaching them and telling them how you feel. I see also that you may have problems in vocalizing what you want during intimacy because you are afraid that your partner or crush or bf won't help or care about you. I see that some of you at first think that romance is cringe but when you warm up to someone...you show them how you truly feel. You need time to heal this chakra but it will be worth it. For some of you (not all) want to get married so bad because you feel so lonely and you want someone to be in your life. But you are hesitant to tell anyone because of that blockage. See how blocked chakras affect our life? You need to heal it.
Your heart chakra
Hmmm, I see that you are too attached to the idea of love and not love itself. You may have toxic attachment and you don't know how to deal with it. I see that you do not take serious practical steps to heal them but instead you cage your heart and build WALLS around it so you don't get hurt. I see also that you may have been disappointed a lot in love and relationships. Some of you got betrayed from your friends and due to this; your heart chakra got blocked too. I see that you may go for unconventional relationships just because you don't want to be vulnerable and because of this that relationship probably end up and it is just a shallow connection. Like you see that one person who want love sooo bad but they are too afraid to let someone in? That's what I'm seeing. You may even rationalize your feelings because they are too cringe.
Your Solar plexus chakra
I see that your self esteem is swaying between I'm that confident b*tch/motherf*cker and I will never be enough. But regardless, you have inner faith because you believe in yourself and your own potential. No matter how much you have been hurt and discarded you'll always get on your feet stronger. Love will heal you, I see that you may be someone who feels very happy and confident when their partner complement them. Also you have a duality to yourself, sometimes you are confident and happy other times you are just so gloomy and sad. Also you know when to give and when to take you have boundaries and you believe in them. I don't feel like this chakra is blocked more likely you need to work on your self esteem so you can have a strong foundation.
Your sacral chakra
You may be young as the energy check told me. But anyways, I feel like you are someone who is very creative and at the same time you may channel your sexual energy into art or work it out. I see also that your sexual needs aren't being met. In other words you may be single since birth or chronically single. I see that this chakra is not blocked but the thing is you may be someone who is ashamed of their sexual or you may consider things like sex as something sinful or bad. Sometimes, your sexual energy take the best out of you. I see that because you refuse to acknowledge your needs you end up rushing to the bathroom or your room to touch yourself and end of story. You may have a lot of sexual energy but you try soo hard to ignore it.
Your root chakra
I see that you may be someone (because in the energy check, you suffered from your family) so now you feel like you don't belong anywhere. I see that you believe that you need to diplomatic and smart when dealing with people and sometimes you doubt their intentions because your crown chakras energy is unacknowledged also you have a lot of anxiety and pessimism of who is going to treat you right and who won't. People here are quite unsure of where they want to belong and above this, there's this view that life is only black. You look at life realistically to the point of melancholy which is not so good for your mental health. Also you have trust issues, you tend to doubt that any opportunity driven to you is going to destroy or disappoint you even if it is for your OWN good. Thank you for reading this and take care💕.
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Pile 2 - Angel energy đŸȘ„đŸ”ź
Your current energy:
Hello pile 2. Let's start your reading. I see that there was a period of stagnation and insecurity that haunted you for the past few weeks. You might have felt insecure and all your old bad beliefs resurfaced again into your day to day life. But lately; I see that you are actively trying to look at yourself in a different light. Not just this but also you are trying to be more optimistic. I see that you might just registered to the gym and you are trying to take care of your health. Also I see that you are feeling a little nostalgic but at the same time you are looking at the thing that you are nostalgic for in a detached way. What I mean is this thing you are nostalgic for is no longer affecting you in a positive or negative way. I see also that you might have dated someone with earth placements and you might be a water sign or placements yourself. I see that you thought that this relationship was meant to be but you felt sad when it was over. I am talking about soul contracts, this person was only meant for a short period of time to teach you a lesson and leave. But don't worry, good things will arrive in God's timing. Oh... now I got it! Maybe your started working out so you can distract yourself from what happened! I won't say this person is not coming back, because they always do. Anyways, Some of you may be saving money for a trip somewhere green (maybe a green place) idk why green just flashed in front of my mind eye. I think it is a park out of the state? A forest? Mountain? I'm not sure but this place is very famous of it's green nature.
Confirmation this is your pile:
Leo, Aries, Cancer, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Taurus as placements in your chart. Venus in Aries, sun in Scorpio, Neptune, Sun, Mars, Jupiter dominant in your chart. Your sun or moon in the 1st, 9th, 5th, 4th, 8th, 2nd house in your chart.
Your crown chakra
First; I see that your crown chakra is blocked pile 2. I feel like you are disconnected from the creator or God or the universe (I'm not sure what you believe in) you might be believing in more than one creator and some of you have multiple deity that you believe in. I see that you get spontaneous downloads from the source but you chose to ignore it because you feel like the creator have turned their back on you. I see that you have a toxic subconscious beliefs about the creator and the energy in your crown chakra is stagnant. You might pour your focus on materialistic things and you forget that the creator is going to help you. The creator want you to know that you are not alone, and you should try to heal your subconscious thoughts about them.
Your third eye chakra
I see that you have a great imagination, you might have inherited your psychic abilities from your grandmother or grandfather. I see that one of them was a healer, and in this life time you are meant to be a healer too. I see also that as I said above you might be too materialistic or too realistic that you don't see this as a gift because you don't want to connect with it. I see that because you focus too much on this side your abilities diminish but one day; you'll get a wake up call and you'll connect to that side again.
Your throat chakra
Okay, your throat chakra is not blocked at all which is good. You might be someone who say the truth directly without sugar coating. I see that you hate lying to people and you hate being lied to which frustrate you too much. Also I see that you are someone who is very cunning and smart, you might be claircognizant which means that the downloads you receive are through clear knowing. You know things, you just know everything (the keyboard kept typing the words despite me deleting it for 5 times). Also what you say can become real so be careful, your words are like magic. Speak with caution.
Your heart chakra
Your chakra is not that blocked but still you carry a lot of negative beliefs about God and love. I see that you are someone who is very deep, very emotional but you don't let people see that side of you. I see that you are building a wall around your heart because you are afraid of getting hurt. I see also that when you are in love you become a poet (here comes the throat chakra part) you know how to express verbally how much you love your person. I see also that romantic relationships are meant to awaken the divine in you. Also it meant to teach you how to be balanced emotionally.
Your solar plexus chakra
Okay, this chakra is blocked. First you tend to TRY to balance your views on yourself BUT you either fell in a delusional episode that you are daring and confident and then your inner critic appear and you start talking negatively to yourself. I see also that your views on yourself are very much linked to other people around you. Also you might be someone who is very dependent on other people's praise and words of affirmation to get through your inner-critic you might be one of those people who needs constant reassurance that your partner is still in love with you and they see you beautiful. Which can be good and bad at the same time.
Your sacral chakra
Hmmm, you might be someone who lack stamina. I see that one round can make you feel like they are ten. But anyways, even with that you might be someone who is considered very fertile so be careful of unplanned pregnancy if you are a woman and if you are a man (you don't have enough stamina) I'm not judging. Also, you might get very protective of your sexuality. In other words; you don't have sex with random strangers. You need commitment to feel comfortable. I'm not seeing blockages here it might be underactive (the chakra).
Your root chakra
(I've written this paragraph 3 times and each time I save it; tumblr delete it. I got very impatient but at least I hope this will resonate with you).
I see that you started getting very comfortable in your loneliness. This came as a result of a very devastating breakup that caused you to stay away from people and detach from them. Well baby, this chakra is blocked too. I see that you don't even feel comfortable in your own family. I see also that growing up, your surroundings wasn't safe enough for you to grow and blossom. As a result in your current energy, you either avoid people (build a wall around you) or trying to find someone who have the same communication style as you. Also I see that you might be afraid of repeating the same experiences which drive you away from your soul family. Thank you for reading and take care💕.
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Pile 3 - Angel wings đŸ«€
Your current energy:
Hello lovelies, how are you?. First; I don't know why I'm feeling hesitant. I kept typing question marks even though I have no questions right now. Do you have any questions that you feel like you can't find answer to? I feel like this pile have been overthinking a lot. You may be pursuing someone or you might be pursued by someone I'm not really sure, so take what resonates okay? Let's get into the reading. Anyways, I feel like you might be in a connection that you feel it is destined to happen. Maybe this connection is a soulmate connection or you are feeling a soul tie to this person. I feel like this person or you (the one who is going to pursue the other) is quite detached. Like yeah, I love you and I want you BUT I will not put everything in my life on hold for you. It is like this person know their worth and their persuasion is coming from a place of love not neediness or desperation. Whatever the case I see a beautiful relationship that will blossom into something long term. I see that this person sees you their queen or king. I see also that they want to feel you and enjoy life pleasures with you (food, fine clothes, s*x etc..). So, their approach is "I want you because I think we are compatible not because you are going to do a list of things for me. I see that if your or their persuasion succeeded (omg I keep typing question marks! It is like this person or you want the other sooo bad but they are unsure where to start!) It is going to be a very beautiful and healthy relationship. Also there's passion and a lot of it. This person is sooo excited to be with you. Like they want you right now but they are trying to control their fires. I see that whenever they want to text they say yo themselves "hold your horses and act cool" then they squeal because they can't talk to you. Also, I feel a strong mint taste in my mouth all of sudden. Maybe you use breath Refresher that taste like mint? If you or the person is pursuing you does that tell me in the comments deal?
Confirmation placements for you:
Gemini, Cancer, very strong Taurus energy omg, sagittarius. Mars, venus, saturn as dominant planets in your chart. Stallium in the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 9th house in your chart.
Your crown chakra
I feel like you guys are resistant to divine downloads. I feel like God/universe or anything you believe in are trying to guide you and show you the way but you are too stubborn to follow. Which is causing you to get stuck! I see that you feel emotionally imbalanced and you are very anxious. Guys, you need to trust the signs that you are seeing, you are not deluding yourself by seeing and wanting to follow them. I keep thinking of "catastrophizing" so, maybe you are complicating things on your own. Stop doing that, it is frustrating!. You are keeping yourself stuck because you think that there's no way but your own way which is not really working in your favor but against you. This chakra is not blocked, you are resistant to it. Be open and listen the universe is talking to you but you don't want to LISTEN!.
Your third eye chakra
Anyways, your ancestors was very spiritual and they passed you this gift which is Clairvoyance. You can see things too in your dreams, in your third eye. You can search for it if you want to. I feel like you get visions and images that flashes in front of your mind eye but you think that you are imagining things. I see that if you nurtured your talent you'll be a great psychic. You can search on YouTube to see how to develop them but be careful! Some people do it the wrong way and they become insane, let it develop naturally but be careful. This chakra is not blocked, it is developing but you are unaware of it. Also, you are getting psychic messages from your twin flame or soulmate constantly. Enjoy them💕
Your throat chakra
Looking at your throat chakra I feel like you keep things to yourself in hope that you can solve them on your own. I see that you might be very observant of others and details cannot go unnoticed by you. But somehow I feel like when it comes to your emotions you become very sensitive and you don't know how to talk it out? I feel like you guys may be so in love but you can't express your feelings? You keep everything to yourself because you think that no one cares? Dear pile 3 the right person cares as much as you do so don't burden yourself with sadness💕. Anyways, I see that you may also be a bit timid when it comes to say your truth. This chakra us underdeveloped. Try to balance it.
Your heart chakra
I see that you crave commitment but somehow you are afraid of committing to someone who is not going to give you the emotional fulfillment that you dreamed of. I see that you are ready to commit or at least ready for your first long term relationship. I see that you put in a lot of work to heal this chakra. If you are asking about the past; you totally healed and moved on. I see also that right now your heart chakra is balanced and open for love. You want to love without attachment and detachment which is great yeayyyđŸ‘đŸ».
Your solar plexus
I feel like you still have insecurities from the past. Especially about how you look physically. I see that you don't trust yourself or have self confidence. I see that when you get compliment from someone you think that they are lying to you and they are just being nice. But it is more than that. I see that sometimes you get a strong surge of confidence and other times you just get sooo insecure you wish to hide in the darkest hole in the world. I see that in romantic relationships, you tend to really care about the opposite sex view when they look at you. And you overthink A LOT about how you present yourself to people. You need to balance this chakra or else you'll be in a lot of doubts of yourself especially in romantic relationships.
Your sacral chakra
I see that you get sudden urges to have s*x multiple times per day. I see also that you are motivated by emotions. EMOTIONS turns you ON so freaking bad. I feel like when you are in LOVE you want to do it with your partner non-stop and other times when you are alone you ignore that part of you like it never existed. Also you tend to be lazy when it comes to that thing so you just distract yourself. Also I feel like you are someone who is very fertile with good sexual drive but you don't know how to channel your sexual energy into anything. Try to channel it into craft (any) and see the results.
Your root chakra
Hmmm, I see that you have a LOT of people that you know. Basically; I feel like you know everyone everywhere. I think you are the type of person that can get along with everyone easily. Also your relationships with others are quite balanced. This chakra is very balanced but sometimes you tend to get lazy and overwhelmed by change. Give yourself some time and everything will be alright. You might be someone who moved a lot from house to house during your childhood? I think that you feel very tired if you have to even change furniture right now, this feeling is a result of childhood. Thank you for reading and take care💕.
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Pile 4 - Lace teddy 🧾
Your current energy
Hello pile 4, welcome to your reading. (Note: this reading is a message for a specific audience, especially for people who are on a twin flame journey since I got many cards that was referring to that. If you are NOT on a twin flame journey then this pile might not be for you). Okay let's start; I see that you have unfinished business with your twin. This person, I am picking up on wants to reconnect with you. If you are in no contact/ separation right now. I see that they want to reconnect with you and tell you about the work that they have done and that they are very overwhelmed without you. I feel like (look I really don't know the stages of twin flame but I guess it is the last meeting before you go your separate ways). I see that you two are not meant to be in each others life. I see that you'll probably either reconnect and heal together and forgive what happened in the past and move on. I'm not seeing abandonment here; no. I see that both of you will talk things over and about the amount of frustration that both of you faced in your life without the other but at some point you'll realize that they or you are no longer (emotionally or mentally) want to be involved in each other's life. I see also that if you chose to move on from them you'll be faced with two people one of them have fire placements and the other have air placements and you can chose one of them to be in a healthy fulfilling relationship with. I see that your next relationship (if you decided to move on from your twin) will be very peaceful and balanced. You have the choice pile 4. Chose wisely.
Confirmation that this reading is for you:
Sagittarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Gemini, Aries, Pisces, Aquarius as signs for them or you. Jupiter, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, Pluto as dominant planets in your chart. Your sun or moon is in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 12th,9th, 11th house in your natal chart.
Your crown chakra
I think you guys get a spontaneous downloads from the universe or God. Some of you do really know how to work and interpret them and actually believe in that. I see that you see God or the universe as salvation. Some people in this pile are religious (whatever your religion). And you do really pray and worship a deity or a God. This chakra is not blocked but you need to balance it a little bit by meditation and connect to the source.
Your third eye chakra
Guys... why are you forcing your third eye to open? I feel like some of you are really focused on forcing it to open and you do those YouTube exercises to open it. Guys this exercises are going to overwhelm your third eye and as a result the energy in your third eye will be resistant and shattered? I don't know, whatever you are doing is not in your favor. Let it be; it'll open on it's own. Don't force it. If it open suddenly you won't like what you are going to see. I've warned you.
Your throat chakra
I see that this chakra was blocked before and unbalanced. I see that you worked really hard on balancing it. Maybe you were someone who played the victim and put all your bad luck on others and now I feel you stopped blaming people on your circumstances and took the lead to heal. You took your power back. I see also that you are now someone who doesn't sugar coat, you give plain truth to others which is good as long as they can take it. Also, I see that you keep nurturing this chakra, Good for you pile 4 đŸ‘đŸ».
Your heart chakra
Okay, I see that this chakra is kind of imbalanced. I see that you anxiously hold to people in your life. You might have anxious attachment style and also I see possessiveness. You might be too possessive of people in your life. You are a control freak to people in your life. You need to acknowledge that people are not a private property for you to own. Try to balance this chakra so you can have more closeness and trust in your relationships.
Your Solar plexus
You have high self esteem. I see that your caregiver was really aware of that part. The part of your own identity. I see someone with strong identity. Even if your caregivers didn't nurture that, you have healed and built yourself a strong character foundation. I see that sometimes people mistaken your high self esteem of being egoistic. Others just appreciate how good is that in you. This chakra is not blocked.
Your Sacral chakra
Hmm, I see that you guys have had a terrible past that affected you in a bad way. I see that you might have had trauma regarding your sexuality. I see that there was either beliefs or incident that really made you fear intimacy. But, I feel like you have healed it. I see that right now you are very open with your sexuality and you healed the shame of intimacy. And if not then I see that you right it out ( you channel your sexual energy into art). Which is wonderful.
Your root chakra
This chakra is blocked. Why? I see that in this pile people feel like they don't belong anywhere. I see that you overthink the tiniest interactions with other people. I see that you also feel discouraged and emotionally imbalanced. I feel like the problem is in your beliefs pile 4. Your beliefs about belonging is what make you suffer. I see that many of you feel stuck in life or in a circumstance that you feel that you cannot leave. I see that you feel also disappointed because your dream life is in fact a dream and nothing change. Honey, you need to work in order to get that life nothing comes for free. Take care and thank you for reading it💕.
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Post date: 9th of Nov-2024 / Sat
*Feedback is appreciated
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justaaveragereader · 1 month ago
Text
Ice On My Teeth Or Ice In My Mouth
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Pairing: OT8 x Reader
Word Count: 3.4K
Warnings: Switch Reader, Dom!Hwa, Dom!Yunho, Noona Kink, Everyone Else Is Subs, Bukkake, Name Calling (Good Boy, Darling, Slut..) Breast Play, Oral, Cum Eating, Dirty Talk, Mentions Of Reader Taming Woo, Spitting, Slight Exhibitionism, Reader Loves Being Watched, All Of Them Love Readers Grill, If I Missed Anything
Lemme Know👀👀
A/N: This comeback good lord
all my villain Yunho enthusiasts stand up with me! BC HOT DAMN, there is so much to talk about but when I tell you I rannnnn to google docs to punch up this fic, I swear the MV was so scrumptious I thought we would have a part 2 of Hwa ina grill, or any of them but it’s alright🙄😒, I made the reader make up for the lack of grills in the MV. Also Dom!Hwa and Dom!Yunho they đŸ€Ș, I will die on the hill that Yunho, Jongho, and Hwa top three doms in the group. Fic wasn’t entirely proof read so🙃 Hope yall enjoy😚
Masterlist
All Ageless, Blank, and Bot Looking Blogs Will Be Blocked.
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“You wanna what!?” You exclaim, sweaty back against the floor, heaving with deep breaths as teaching all 8 members the choreography to their upcoming comeback was draining you more than it was draining them.
“It’s just a thought..” Seonghwa said silently while patting the sweat off of your forehead with a small towel.
“You really wanna share me? With all of them!?” You say, pushing his hand away slightly, leaning up on your elbows. With a smile I’m his face and a careless shrug he nods his head. Clearly he has thought about this before, it just was finding the right time to bring it up to you. Seonghwa was a lot of things but selfish when it came to sex was not one. He’d be lying if he said he hadn't thought of sharing you with his own members, he saw the twinkle in their eyes when you paid them a compliment, or even when you all sat for movie night brushing against one of the other members thoughtlessly.
“I think it’ll be fun, imagine that, you covered in their cum. While you swallow mine, just think about it princess.” Seonghwa hums out, continuing to brush away the sweat on your forehead, nodding your head lightly. He begins to hum with each wipe, your mind goes straight to the thought of you being a cum dump for all of the members. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about each and everyone one of them in that way, they were all attractive men, it was no secret their looks were second to none. A group of 8 visuals, with amazing personalities to match. You sat and thought about what Seonghwa had said for weeks on end, coming towards the end of the month right before the comeback began you took him up on that offer.
~
“You can cum on her but no one is allowed to touch her.” Seonghwa says, his hand firm on your hip while your eyes flicker through each members expression. Immediately nodding his head Mingi stands up, beginning to fiddle with his belt. Grabbing his arm Jongho pulls him back down, furring his eyebrows at him.
“That doesn’t seem entirely fair.” Wooyoung says, keeping his legs crossed tightly not wanting to show his hard cock through his pants. Per usual this bratty personality arises. Making you cock your head slightly to the side, eyes swirling with dominance wondering what it would be like to tame the Jung Wooyoung. Seonghwa notices your eyes swirling with excitement, patting your hips, he grabs a soft pillow from the couch tossing it in the middle of the room. The soft item hitting the floor with a silent thump.
“This isn't about us, this is about him.” Yunho says, eyes twinkling with his own lust, man spreading loud and proud. Your eyes flicker down to his cock that’s standing at attention in his sweatpants. Raising his eyebrow, Seonghwa looks at Yunho impressed, nodding slightly, he looks at the man mentally applauding him for putting two and two together so quickly.
”What can I say?” Seonghwa says with a shrug to his shoulders, eyes twinkling with pride, patting the top of your thigh you let out a quiet sigh.
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen her with other men.” With a shrug to his shoulders he leans back against the couch. Your eyes flicker over to Mingis jittery figure. Biting his polished nails with anticipation, he didn’t care how it happened, he just wanted it to happen. Choking on his spit, Hongjoongs eyes double in size, side eyeing Seonghwa, clearly he had known of your and Seonghwas sex life but he didn’t think cuckholding or swinging would be something he’s into.
“Fuck it, I’m in!” San says, brushing his sweaty palms on his pants. With all the boys coming around slowly, they all begin to stand in a circle, surrounding the pillow. With a firm squeeze to your hips your eyes float to each man. Anticipation, nerves, and hard cocks.
“How do you want me?” You say loudly, eyes continuing to flicker between each man, yet subconsciously they all knew you were speaking directly to Seonghwa. With a small smile cracking on your face, the light catching the silver grill lining the top of your teeth. Making all the men in the room let out soft groans of desperation.
“Naked and on your knees, darling.” As you begin to stand, hands clutching the bottom of your shirt to pull it off of your head you hear a small whimper leave Yeosang and Mingis throat. Before you can continue taking your clothes off, Seonghwas hand stops you as your fingers come up to unclip your bra.
“Make it worthwhile for them, they look like pent up college boys.” He says with a snicker, leaning back against the cushions once more. Watching as your naked figure makes way towards the pillows. As your knees hit the soft item, your shoulders jitter slightly with excitement. Chin up, head on a swivel you turn your head to look at all of the members as they stand before you. Cocks hard, some biting their lip, others with their hands balled into a tight fist, trying to hold back their orgasm. Just seeing you kneeling before them was enough to make them blow their load.
“Well
are you going to pull those pretty cocks out, or am I going to have to beg some of you for that.” You say matter of factly, voice laced with a slight innocent tone. You hear a small whimper to the right of you, head turning to look who it’s from your eyes grow with darkness, eyelids hooded as you seek out your first member.
“Look at wet patch on your pants Mingi, someone is excited.” With a heavy blush to his cheeks, he shifts from foot to foot. Fiddling with the waistline of his pants. With a soft coo you beckon him over with a lift of your finger, moving like he’s in a trance. His feet move swiftly, bumping Hongjoong as he makes his way towards you. Standing in front of you with his large stature. You place a hand on his waist and on his pants, tugging at the material slightly, as the air hits his cock he lets out a whine, his large cock smacking the bottom of his stomach before standing at attention in your face.
“I thought you said we can’t touch her..” Wooyoung says, eyes deeply boring at the sight in front of him.
“He never said I couldn’t touch you..” you say, eyes darting over to Wooyoung who doubles over in moans as your eyes cut to him. His bratty ways make your body break out in goosebumps. Saying a silent prayer to yourself, hoping this wouldn’t be the last time that you all did this. Your itch to tame Woos bratiness was at an all time high, gripping Mingis cock firmly, your eyes traveled back to him.
“You're going to cum on me, baby.” You moan to Mingi, fingers dancing along his length. With an eager nod he bites his lip, staring at you like you hung the stars in the sky just for him.
“You got such a pretty cock Mingi.” You whisper while placing a small kiss on the base of his cock. His body jerking instantaneously, knees buckling he clenches his hands in a tight fist, nails digging into his palms.
“N-noona please..” Mingi begs, chest beginning to heave, thighs twitching with each soft kiss you place on his dick. Your eyes cut into a seductive look, eyelids growing heavy as you begin to hear the big man begging for you.
“Are you going to cum for me Mingi?” You say though each small kiss, fingers brushing lightly over his tight balls. His knees buckle as you continue to talk to him. Voice as smooth as silk flowing in and out of his ears.
Tugging down his own pants San wraps a firm hand around his cock, groaning at the sensation of his warm hand wrapped around it. Eyes shut, titling his head back, he imagines it's your hand around his hardened length. Eyes squeezing with each sweet, filthy word you speak. Each member starts to slowly grab their own cocks, bodies twitching with excitement as your naked frame sits in the middle of the room.
Your eyes float from Mingis face down to his lower abdomen, bringing your other hand up to brush over this lower stomach. Brushing your lips over the tip of his cock, he lets out a small, high pitched whine. Jerking his hips slightly, you watch as his hands flex tightly.
“You are such a good boy for me Mingi.” You whisper out, lips continuing to brush over his leaky tip. His knees buckle once more, lower lash like filling with tears that are meer seconds away from being shed.
“I’m a good boy?” He whimpers out, gripping the lower fabric of his shirt. Wet eyes shooting over to Seonghwa, eyebrows furring in a pleading look. Your hand that was rubbing across his lower belly moves to his balls once again, giving them a firm squeeze making Mingi jump, his eyes dart back to you.
“Ah, ah, ah. You look at me Mingi, you are my good boy, not Seonghwas.”
With a loud moan, Mingis hand gripping the lower half of his shirt tighter, head tilting back as you feel his cock pulsing in his palms.
“Who's my pretty boy?” You ask through a moan, tongue swiping between the slit of Mingis cock.
“Me..” he whimpers out pathetically.
“Look at me Mingi.” As he prys open his eyes, looking down at you. The sight before him has him teetering the edge of orgasm.
“Who's my pretty boy?” You ask seductively before slipping your tongue between the slit once more before kissing the tip, and giving his balls a squeeze.
“M-meeee!” He groans out knees practically giving out as he cums with the firm tug you give his balls. A loud whine leaves his throat, doubling over your kneeling form as he shoots his milky load all over your warm skin. His cum splashing on your lower lip, getting on some of the grill, and face. As he finishes you give him one firm squeeze before he jerks his body back. Swiping some of the cum off your lower lip. You let his flavor dance on your tongue as you look up at Mingi, who looks like he’s just ran a marathon, tongue darting out to lick over the shining piece in your mouth, with weak knees he wobbles his way over to the far end of the couch. Tossing his limp body on it.
As your chest grows sticky with Mingis dripping cum you look up at the others, eyes dancing to figure out who's next. Your eyes instantly land on Wooyoung, beckoning him over with a flick of your finger he follows as well. As he makes his way forward you call out for Yeosang, and Jongho. With Wooyoung standing in front of you, Jongho on your left, and Yeosang on your right. Your head swivels between the three men. Swiping the cum off your chest you lube your hands up in his cum, firmly grabbing Yeosang and Jonghos dick. Both of them let out a loud hissing noise at your warm hands wrapped around their lengths.
“Touch yourself, now.” You say to Wooyoung, his hand slowly snakes itself to his member. Wrapping a hand loosely around it, he pumps himself to the same speed that you are pumping Yeosang and Jongho. Alternating between suckling on the tip of their cocks, you keep your eyes on Wooyoung.
“You are such a brat you know that?” You muffle out, popping off of Jonghos dick, before going to spit on Yeosangs, as the cool spit hits his cock you watch as Wooyoungs cock bounces slightly in his hold.
“Look at you, stroking your cock all because Noona asked. What a slut.” You say through a slight chuckle, biting his lip he racks his brain for a slick comeback yet he comes up short. Biting his lip he steps closer to you, cock brushing against your warm cum coated skin. Gathering all the spit in your mouth, you spit it on Wooyoungs cock. His back arching slightly at the sudden feeling. Jonghos hips stutter in your firm grasp. Your thumb coming down to roll over his reddened tip. Releasing your hands from both men on your sides you tilt your head back slightly..
“Who wants to be the first to come in my mouth?” You ask, eyes growing heavy as you stick your tongue out, with your mouth wide open.
“Oh fuck
” Jongho whispers out before standing by Wooyoung, his hand wrapping around his cock as he begins to stroke himself quickly. Yeosang remains where he is. His eyes glued to your form, as his hand comes down to wrap around his cock. You swipe some of Mingis cum off of you before swiping it on Yeosangs member.
“Such filthy sluts I have around me.” You moan out, with each word you degrade all three of them with the closer and closer they are to their release. Yeosangs attractive flushed face twists in pleasure milking his leaking cock for all that it’s worth. As he pumps himself two more times, he’s letting out a loud cry. Head tossing back in pleasure as roles of cum dance along your skin. Shooting all over your shoulder and the side of your breast, it sets off a chain reaction. Eyes dancing along Yeosangs figure, as he groans with each final pump. White teeth sinking into the bottom of his plush lip, Jongho tries his best to keep his hands off of you. Watching your sly reaction as Yeosang paints your skin has his toes gripping the carpet below him, watching Yeosangs face contort in such pleasure has his body jerking, the final line snapping as he hears Yeosang whimper your name out quietly. Triggering his own orgasm, he clenches his shirt tightly, hips jerking forward as the tip of his cock brushes the side of your mouth.
Quickly turning so he can paint the inside of your mouth with his release, wanting to leave his stain on the studded jewelry in your mouth. Wooyoung grips his cock tightly once more, applying heavy pressure to the tip before he’s spilling into his own release. His warm cum dances along your skin, mixing with Jonghos as they paint the inside of your mouth. While both men retreat back to their seats, Seonghwa stands up, making his way towards you. With your cheeks squished between his thin fingers, he watches as your cum coated mouth is swimming in both men’s release.
“You are going to suck me off while the other 3 boys have their turn with you. Lay down.” As your eyes twinkle with excitement. You lay on your back, mouth still cum coated, studded jewelry still shining under the light with each smile. Waiting for Seonghwa to tell you when to swallow, you watch as Yunho, San, and Hongjoong approach you slowly. As if they were a group of lions walking about their feast for the night.
Kneeling down, Hongjoongs cock ghosts right above your face. His hand firmly wrapped around him, with your cum stained tongue rolling out of your mouth he can’t help but let out a low groan. Yunho continues to stand, his large figure swallowing your small frame on the ground. Standing over your stomach Seonghwa kneels down both of his legs trapping the sides of your body, while San stands directly between your legs, that you’ve hiked up, feet planting on the ground so he could get a good look at your cunt. With Seonghwa kneeling over you to get a perfect shot at cumming on your tits. Your eyes flicker to each man standing around you. Your body grows with excitement. Thighs slickening up with arousal as you hear the panting of men, as they pump firm hands up and down their cocks. Inching closer to you, Seonghwa slowly pushes his cock between your lips. As your tongue instantly darts out over hardened length you lock eyes with Yunho who is standing over as if he’s in charge of this whole thing.
As you sucked on Seonghwa harder, making sure to swirl your tongue around the tip of his cock, tongue hugging against the throbbing vein that runs on the underside just how he likes it. The sight before San has him in a trance, his grip on his cock eases up as he’s too enamored with the way you suck Seonghwa in your mouth. With spit pooling around your lips, and dripping down to your naked chest, he gets lost in his dirty thoughts. Your eyes flicker over to his large frame, eyes growing heavy, and seductive with each suck you give Seonghwa. As one of your hands comes up to rub the base of his cock, you continue to lock eyes with Yunho. A battle of dominance between you both, one that you know you will lose. As Seonghwa rubs his thumb across the bottom of your jaw. Eyes flickering to your scrunched face, eyes heavy in concentration on Yunho, that your sucking begins to speed up. As Yunho watches you inhale Seonghwas cock, his own jumps at the sight. The small groans leaving your mouth, the clenching of your thighs. His heavy gaze is too much to bare, you break eye contact with Yunho, eyes fluttering to the man on top of you who's looking at you with a wild look.
“Usually she’s such a brat..” Seonghwa groans out, his eyes never leaving your concentrated face.
“First person I’ve seen her so easily submit too
” he says through a low moan, before pulling his cock from your mouth. The cool feeling of the grill makes him groan, the piece of jewelry hugging your teeth has his knees buckling.
“Isn’t that right, pretty?” He replies in a airy voice, your eyes wet with unshed tears from coughing slightly, you look at the four men hovering above you, a small smile creeping onto your face. Feeling too close to blowing his lid, he moves from kneeling in between your thighs to move on the side of you, directly across from Hongjoong making sure not to take up the space Yunho was standing in.
“Yes..” you whisper out before reaching up to touch Sans throbbing cock, that was twitching in his hand, eyes wide, with his pupils blown. Collecting some of the spit from the corners of your mouth, you rub your moist thumb over Sans tip, a loud mewl leaves his throat, knees buckling almost instantaneously. Your other hand comes up to run across the base of Hongjoong, his precum beading at the redden tip of his cock. With his large hand wrapping around his own member, he pumps himself while watching your every move. Yunho always carried a heavy presence, it practically made you wanna melt.
“Fuck
you are so heavy Hongjoong..” you whisper out, finger tips dancing along his tightened, heavy balls. A small whimper passes through his lips, pulling his head back as you give them a firm squeeze, he makes a move to stop your hand, not wanting to blow his load so quickly yet he remembers the rules. No touching you.
Seonghwa reaches up to crush your boobs together, creating the perfect crevice for him to stick his dick between. Hiking up your chest further, he lets out a loud groan at the feeling of your warm side flesh hugging his cock, with swift movements he begins to rock forward, making sure the tip of his cock taps your chin.
“She’s taking it so well..” San says through a small cry, your thumb still rubbing around his tip. Your eyes leave Hongjoongs..
“You are taking it so well to Sannie..” you whisper out, licking the top of your lip, eyes growing dark as you feel him and Hongjoong pulsing in your hands.
With your heavy gaze on the men above you, biting your lip, the silver shine from your grill has Yunhos hips stuttering in his firm grasp, with Seonghwa letting out a small mewl on top of you, sweat slowly rolls down his temples, eyebrows furring with trying his best not the cum so fast. Licking the top of your lip, your eyes grow heavy at the feeling of both men throb between your hands, pulsing with need. Letting your tongue roll out slowly, making sure to slide your tongue over the shining jewelry coating the front of your teeth, all four men above you look like they are on the verge melting right into you.
“Come on..” you moan out quietly, gripping Hongjoong and Sans cocks a bit firmer, eyes darting to all the men above you..
“Cum on me..”
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DO NOT REPOST.
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acewithapaintbrush · 2 months ago
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Saw @artsymeeshee hospital sketches of the sea grunks and thought to myself, is this finally my time to write some brotherly angst for these two? The answer is yes. Short but sweet, please enjoy.
******************************
The first thing Stan becomes aware of is the noise.
A constant beeping right next to his ear. Loud and high-pitched and repetitive and unfortunately very familiar to an old grifter with bad luck like him. He would be a lot more annoyed with this sound if his last clear memory wasn't of roaring waters rushing past his ears, stealing his hearing and leaving nothing but white noise behind.
He'd rather take the beeping.
Next comes taste, which, ugh! He could have gone without that! The feel of scratchy sheets is not much better but it tells him that he is in one of the better hospitals. Believe it or not, the better the hospital, the scratchier the sheets. Ford should cool it with the mystical beasts and research what's up with that!
Speaking of Ford.
Stan keeps his breathing even as he slowly opens his eyes. The light has been dimmed in anticipation and he blinks a couple times at a ceiling that is painted a nondescript beige color. He looks at it for a moment and for some strange reason he suddenly feels a fierce urge to video call Mabel.
But first things first.
Stan slowly turns his head to the side which actually hurts. Don't they have him on the good stuff?
Just as he expected, there is his brother. Ford has squeezed himself into the same bed as Stan, facing his brother's prone form. Stan can't help but smile. His brother must have bullied the nurses into letting him stay. The bed is way too small for two grown men but somehow the genius has managed to practically fold himself into a compact ball, leaving enough room for all those fancy machines connected to the patient. One of his hands lightly rests against Stan's chest which he hasn't even noticed until now.
Ford's eyes are closed but he is mumbling under his breath, reciting one of his journal entries from memory.
Stan winces. His brother must be really rattled by this little mishap.
‘Great job giving the guy another thing to worry about, Stanley!’
“I think climbing into the hospital bed with the patient is against the rules, Sixer? You are not supposed to do that.”
He was going for levity and humor but his hoarse voice kinda ruins that.
Ford's eyes don't snap open. He doesn't gasp or jerk upright or anything like that. Instead he takes a shuddering breath and deliberately opens his eyes. They find Stanley immediately and there is not a hint of surprise in them. Stan wonders how long Ford has known that he's awake.
“Same to you,” Ford says and his voice is so flat it causes a shiver to run down Stan's spine.
“Hey, s’not like I planned for this to happen.”
“I would be very cross with you if you had planned falling overboard, Stanley.”
Ford's emotions still feel weirdly flat. He isn't even lecturing and scolding Stan for his reckless behavior, just presses his six-fingered hand against his chest and stares at him with those blank eyes.
“I'm alright.” Stan shifts so he can face his brother and, damn, those ribs are definitely cracked. He briefly wonders if that happened in the fall or whether someone had to do CPR on him and quickly decides that maybe he doesn't want to know. Close call. Much too close. “I'm alright, Ford,” he repeats as if that makes it true.
For the first time an emotion flickers through Ford's face. He narrows his eyes and for a moment Stan thinks he's angry but then a single tear runs down an unshaven cheek, immediately seeping into the pillow.
“I thought I lost you for good,” Ford whispers, voice tortured. “I couldn't find you. For the longest time. I looked and I looked and you were just
 gone. I couldn't find you!”
‘Same to you,’ Stan echoes with a bit of a bitter edge, mind replaying thirty years of hunching down in a dusty basement in a matter of seconds.
But this is not about him and Stan is, no matter what some might want to tell you, not an insensitive asshole.
“You did find me,” he says. He doesn't actually know if that's true. The time after he fell into the ocean during that storm is still a bit of a mystery to him. All he remembers is the noise of the water and how cold he felt and a voice screaming his name, over and over, growing fainter with each wave crashing over his head.
But Ford needs some reassurance right now. And the best way to reassure Ford that Stan is alright is by proving his alrightness with a good, old Pines hug.
He lightly pulls at the hand on his chest and with a cut off gasp Ford immediately obliges, scooting closer until they are entwined with one another just like they were as kids when the nightmares became too much to remain separated by a bunk bed.
“You found me.” Stan repeats and ignores the tears soaking into his hospital gown.
‘That's what we do,’ he thinks with a content smile, eyes falling shut with exhaustion. ‘We always find each other again.’
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fatuismooches · 2 months ago
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Dottore and his segments get a taste of their own medicine after giving you a job of your own. (In other words, you ignore their need for attention in favor of your work, they get pouty, just like you did.)
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As of late, a peculiar sight had made its way into the lab. Actually, peculiar wasn't even strong enough of a word for the agents to use. They had nearly tripped over their feet once they saw the new area of their working quarters in the lab.
In addition to their Lord Harbinger's desk (that was shared amongst the segments depending on the day), there was now another desk on the opposite side of the room, and the cute decorations on it were quite noticeable. Photo frames and stationery. A comfortable and plush chair with a blanket that dropped over it.
... A plushie version of the Harbinger that laid on Dottore's desk, commissioned by you to motivate him.
(A side thought - the number of desks the Doctor had was something to wonder about. One in the lab, one in the office, one in the bedroom - no wonder things were always scattered around the place. But that was something for another day...)
And most importantly, you, Dottore's spouse, standing next to their Lord, rocking back on your heels nervously as he introduced you as their new co-worker.
—
It all began when you approached your husband with a very simple request.
"Dottie, I want a job!" You said with enthusiasm, smile as wide and proud as ever. The scientist paused his work and turned to look at you with a blank expression.
"... A job, you say?" You only puffed your chest out more at his confirmation.
"Yes, a job. I mean, being your lover is already a lot of work for my poor back, but I want to actually work with you! With your research and stuff, like the old days!" Your excitement was completely serious and were it not for your health, it would have been infectious for the scholar. Rarely did he ever meet anyone who was truly interested in his work. But of course, certain restrictions have held you back for a long time now.
"We've already been over this. My work is too dangerous for you," the Doctor sighed as he turned back around to continue whatever he was doing.
"I know, I know, but I meant other kinds of stuff. I've been thinking like... a desk job! It doesn't have to be anything dangerous! I could... sort papers for you? Oh, and you have one of those fancy stamps, right? I could stamp them too! I could rewrite your notes... ah, and the best part - I could help you write reports too! You always liked my essays, didn't you?" You were doing your best to provide Dottore with a convincing case, snuggling up against his firm back. Only another sigh escaped your husband, not really that convinced.
"Come on..." you inhaled his familiar scent, tinged with that laboratory smell that never seemed to go away, but somehow brought comfort to you. "I've been so bored lately... and lonely," you muttered the last part pointedly. "I just want some work to take my mind off things!"
Indeed, there was always limited entertainment and pastimes to occupy yourself with. It was especially boring on days you couldn't get out of bed, or when no segment could afford you attention...
"And you know what, I could give those agents of yours some writing tips, too!"
Yes, there had been many times his employees were not up to his standards, despite how many of them fawned over him (for some odd reason)...
"And I'll be helping you too! It's good for everyone."
Of course, you always felt rather good about yourself if you managed to help him, being the Second Harbinger and all...
"I suppose I shall give it some thought-" Before the man could finish his sentence you started squeezing him tightly while hopping in delight.
"Oh, thank you! So, when do I start? Do I get one of your huge desks too?"
"I didn't say yes yet, darling."
"Shh... we both know what you mean!"
—
And that was how you now clocked in at "work" every day with the agents (later than normal, but you had special privileges.) It was daunting at first for the poor souls, even the ones who secretly admired you from afar (being in the fan club and all.) Even though initially you were merely sorting papers, you were the most important person in that room.
However, soon enough, going to work in this dreary lab became a lot more cheery thanks to your sweet demeanor. Somehow, the atmosphere had become a lot less tense since the last time the segments visited.
The agents had little to no problem speaking to you like a normal person, after you had graciously given them tips on impressing the Harbinger.
"Psst..." you were hovering behind an unsuspecting agent, reading the report she had for Dottore, who jumped at your whisper. "You know, he might click his tongue if you give him that." Although her mask covered her face, you could see that half surprised at how you popped out of nowhere, and half agreeing with your words. Perhaps she felt comfortable enough to spill the situation to you.
"I-I am well aware of that," she deeply sighed, "but no matter what I write, my Lord always seems to be unsatisfied..." You patted her shoulder in sympathy. Having worked with Dottore since the Akademiya days, you knew very well of his distaste for certain things.
"Well, that's why I was hired, friend! To make his and your life easier! See, look here, that's a no-no, he wouldn't appreciate those details, mhm, but this needs to be elaborated on more, uh huh..." Of course, being the good spouse and employee you were, the report was converted into the best one that had ever landed on the Doctor's desk.
On your lunch break, they provided you with some juicy gossip about anything they could get their hands on (the fan club had long reaches, apparently.) Frequently you had to debunk things about Dottore... (the handbook was swiftly revised.)
Needless to say, things seemed to be going well. You looked happier. Motivated. Having new "friends" as your company (that still watched their mouth around you after a single glance from the segments.)
However... an issue arose after a while. One that seemed entirely stupid and impossible.
Now that you were so caught up in your work, when the segments finally had some spare time to come to you, they were... rejected. Yes, they had come to you, fully expecting your devoted attention and kisses that you always gave them without hesitation, but now turned away. (Even more embarrassing, sometimes in front of the agents who kept their eyes glued to their strange chemicals.)
—
It was Omega, of all segments, who was turned away first. The most confident and charming of the bunch left uncharacteristically silent. He had come up behind you and traced his hands against your neck, always being the one who had no shame in touching you. You only softly giggled at the sensation and caught his hand in yours.
"It seems you've been busy for a while, dear." In truth, it was mostly you seeking him out and not vice versa, but the segment hadn't seen you invading his office in a while. The space had gotten too quiet without you.
"Mhm! But I can't imagine how much work you do. My desk is nowhere as cluttered as yours," you smiled as you felt the segment kiss your lashes.
"What do you say to a break with me?" Omega offered, already knowing what your eager response would be.
"Nah, I can't right now."
...
Your words took a few seconds to process through his head.
"Pardon?"
"I have all this work, 'Mega, and other people need my help," you shrugged your shoulders as you swung your legs. "But don't worry. I'm sure we can spend some time later!" You kissed him on the cheek and pulled your chair in before continuing your work.
Omega, the greatest segment, was reduced to a blankly staring man who had been deprived of his lover's attention for the first time.
He was irritable for the rest of the day.
—
Beta was next, the poor thing.
You were always the one he blew off steam to, always willing to listen about his gripes and complaints, offering him consolation in the form of kisses and soft words.
However, you hadn't come to visit in so long, the segment was all pent up and now the agents were beginning to fall victim to him.
Fine then - he'd seek you out. Not because he needed you or missed you or anything of the sort. You were just... halting his progress with the lack of your presence. Yes, that was it.
And so the scientist, donning his grand pink bow tie, swung by your desk.
"So this is where you've been? How boring." Beta was not a segment that you'd want to do paperwork. He much preferred to be hands-on.
"Ah, Beta!" You brightened in delight at seeing one of your lovers. "I missed you!" At least you were always honest about your feelings.
... But to cut a long story short, Beta faced the same conundrum that Omega did.
Someone got turned into a floating Ruin Machine that day.
—
By now all the segments had experienced being turned away from work. Alpha's signature scowl had become permanent. Zandy was pouting the whole day as he missed his parent. Foxttore kept to himself with a pathetic sopping wet eye. His segments were fighting with each other inside his mind, a great nuisance.
All because you were too absorbed with your work to pay them any attention.
... The Doctor was now realizing that it sounded like a very familiar tune sung by you. So this was what you felt for days on end? Now, it was easier for him to understand why you were always upset if you were ignored too much.
Still, it was mortifyingly embarrassing that his segments were reduced to this pitiful state just because you rejected cuddles a few times. Regardless, it was up to him to solve the issue. After all... he missed you too. He wanted you to be around him more often again.
And so the Doctor made his way to his beloved.
There you were, all cozy on your seat as you sorted through some papers. Really, he had no clue you'd be this productive, to be honest. At least it was proof that your health hadn't gotten worse, considering how well you were handling this.
"Aren't you the one who kept saying to take breaks?" His voice made you jump a bit, having not heard him walk up.
"It's you, Dottie! I was wondering when you'd come around. And of course, I take breaks, Dottore. I have lunch with the other agents!" Ah, another party that's been hogging your attention.
"You know, this job has been pretty fun, Dottore! Everyone's real nice, we make jokes, I get to write about interesting things..." You continued to go on about the research and while usually he'd be intrigued by your findings, this time he had enough.
Dottore picked you up like a long cat as you squealed from the sudden grasping.
"What are you doing?!"
"You're coming with me," was his cut and dry response as he lifted you into his arms.
"B-But I have to work on the big report for Pantalone!" Dottore's eye twitched at the mention of the banker.
"Someone else can."
"But I-"
"I'm not listening to anything you say further," he plainly said as he walked with you cuddled into his chest as you gawked at him.
Could he be... jealous? A wee bit lonely? You kept your guesses to yourself as he eventually bought you back to his room and laid you on his bed, not even saying anything to you before sitting at his desk.
Did he simply miss your presence that much? You felt a bit bad neglecting your lovers that much. But to be fair, they kinda did the same... sometimes. You got up to console your silly husband, who was just a man in your hands.
"Hey... I missed you too, dear husband... but I had to make sure no one stole the title of best assistant from me!" Dottore only sighed at your foolishness.
Of course no one could ever replace you.
"I know you'd rather die than admit it... but don't worry. You're lucky I'm sensitive to your feelings," you teased as you kissed the top of his mask. "I'll pay more attention to you and the segments, before they cause another headache for you, love. You'll give me some vacation time off, right?"
You laughed at your own joke before Dottore pulled you into his lap, biting down hard on your neck.
—
"Beloved, would you care to join me in discussing your work?"
"You fool, they're obviously coming to my lab to activate a new Ruin Machine."
"But [Name] is supposed to play with me today!!"
"As if, they're far too busy to join you all with your silly games."
"You all will stress them out with this arguing. Now, why don't you join me for a cup of coffee instead?"
"Grr, gr gr, grr!"
It was good to be loved so deeply.
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inside-lees-mind · 9 months ago
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hi could i rq. general konoha 11 + sand siblings nsfw hcs ! (aged up/boruto ver obv) <3
Also: nobody understands Uchihas better than I do and I don’t even like most of em. /j Why are they all practically evil in fics? I’m going crazy. Most of them are clearly softies when it comes to love. Am I right or am I right???
And sorry, you can tell who I have more ideas for and who I was drawing a blank on.
Oh and sorry yall for the gap in my writing. This one took a while. I’ve been working on it for a bit. And part of it got lost and deleted, so I rewrote it. A long with a couple other stories got deleted and I lost some motivation for a moment lol
Konoha 13 + Sand Siblings HCs
Naruto Uzumaki
He’s energetic, and that 100% applies to in bed too.
Likely inexperienced, but eager. And a little nervous.
Talked big game beforehand, but even if you didn’t know before, you definitely know it was all talk now.
That being said, he’s a quick learner, even if he complains about being confused at first.
I think he’d have like little to no knowledge though, being such a loner for a while, in all. Hope you have patience.
That being said, he is a bit of a pervert with what he does know.
Overall though, he’d set a fast pace, but the sex would still be intimate and soft.
Praise. Praise. Praise. Giving and receiving.
Sasuke Uchiha
No experience, but he knows the ins and outs.
He wasn’t too concerned with sex or anything of that matter before, but when he returned to Konoha, he realized he had feelings for you. So he starts to think about it.
He’s not a pervert like Kakashi or Naruto, and he’d never lose his cool over sexy jutsu, BUTTT he’s secretly horny as hell. Like low sex drive usually, but just being around you makes it sky rocket to abnormal levels.
He’s very private about sex though, so usually only happens in your bedroom or
 cough cough in a quiet forest with nobody around cough cough (if you know, you know)
He’s got a breeding kink. Next question.
Uses a mix of degradation and praises.
Lots of demanding, but also lots of giving soooo

I truly believe Sasuke would be a softer partner than people make him out to be. Like did yall watch Boruto or not?? He’s got awkward and sweet energy. He’s TRYING. He’s emotionally stunted yall.
More dominant and likes to be in control, but will fall apart in your arms anyways. Usually more of a soft dom than anything.
One of the most likely to be fairly kinky though. I think he’d slowly discover he’s into things as they occur or cross his mind.
Sakura Haruno
She knows a lot about the human body.
Might have experience, might not. I could see it either way.
I think your first time with her would happen after like a romantic dinner together. And it would be romantic and slow.
But
 that depends on you, because she’ll mostly go with what you want. It makes her happy.
She’s okay with being degraded or praised, but she really only likes to praise you.
Low sex drive.
She likes any position she can see your face.
She’s a switch, depends on her partner’s preference.
Sai Yamanaka
(Obviously not married here but just to have a last name to add)
He read a book about what to do.
Probably does something incredibly stupid at first, but that being said, he’s not an idiot, so not too bad.
You’d probably have to correct him a little bit. Also, tell him to forget the book and just go with the feeling and follow your lead.
You’d be in the lead at first. Probably go down on him first thing.
He’s not small. (I mean did you hear the way he talked to Naruto? He’s probably got something to work with if he’s talking so confidently LMFAO)
So you’d probably have to use your hand for the base while your mouth sucks on about half or so of his cock.
His hand tangles in your hair/rests on top, not pulling, but resting there.
He throws his head back, letting out soft sighs and small moans that escape his lips. He’s not trying to be quiet, but he’s not loud either.
Although, he might have read girls don’t like when guys make noise. Who knows. Then you might have to tell him that’s not true.
At first, sex is just discovering things with him. You’re both exploring how everything feels.
But, after a few times, he starts taking the lead and initiating.
He has a low sex drive though, so he won’t initiate too often.
It’s also hard to get him to realize what you’re asking for if you drop hints. He saw your underwear when you bent over
 okay. He might even comment on how you should be more careful since he knows you don’t like to expose yourself so much.
You just deadpan and tell him it was supposed to turn him on.
“Oh.” And now he’s unbuckling his pants and asking you to come sit on his lap. :)
Shikamaru Nara
Low sex drive, usually at least, because now he’s consumed by the desire to be rode by you. Like he dreams about it.
He calls you troublesome to himself when he wakes up hard in the morning occasionally.
He lowkey loves to just lay between your legs or have you sit on his face so he can eat you out (pussy or ass, don’t matter)
Lazy morning sex. He loves it.
He’s dominant, but he can be rather lazy most the time. That being said, he will fuck you how you want him to if you ask.
Degrading but he’s not super mean about it at all. More like soft grunts with degrading terms, but the rest of it comes out more like soft sighs and groans of pleasure and praise.
Choji Akimichi
The sweetest. He takes his time with you every time.
Body worship. More so giving than receiving, but he’ll be a blushing mess if you give back the same energy.
Praise. Lots of it.
He’d be the type to kiss down your body, from your lips to your neck to your chest all the way down til he gets between your legs.
He can’t bring himself to be rough or harsh with you in anyway. No degradation, rough sex, or anything.
Likes to be able to see your face during sex.
He’d like to try food play.
Ino Yamanaka
Pillow princess unless asked to do otherwise.
She loves to be praised and worshipped, but also likes things rougher.
She’s a bit of a brat about things. Constantly going against what you say for fun.
She does it on purpose so you’ll go rougher on her, she likes it.
She also likes when things are slow and romantic though.
And she’d love it if you planned like a candlelit dinner and put a trail of rose petals on like Valentine’s Day, or even just cuz.
Shino Aburame
He’s in charge. He’s on top. Whatever. He doesn’t like to not have control.
He also just wants to please you, and often he’s not too worried about himself.
Might get a little self conscious if you skip over touching him or giving him head more than once. Like if it’s been a few times now and you haven’t bothered
 did he do something?
He doesn’t need it, but he just
 you know how he is.
He doesn’t make much noise.
But I do believe that right before he cums, he whimpers. He can’t help it, and don’t bring it up afterwards. He’ll be so embarrassed and not want to do it for a while because he’s scared he’ll do it again.
If he gets like that, just tell him you loved it. Then go down on him and tell him you wanna make him do it again.
He’s good with his hands, I just know it.
He can go rough and be stern and demanding, but other than that, he’s rather vanilla.
He’s a big fan of missionary so he can see your face.
And he doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s in your own home or absolute private, like an inn.
Kiba Inuzuka
Hickeys.
He loves giving them.
You will have like 20. From your jaw to your thighs, he’s marked. Plenty of them are visible and hard to hide because they’re dark.
He doesn’t exactly take his time. No, those hickeys are from the entire act. He starts leaving them during foreplay, then when he’s pounding into you, he quiets himself down by latching onto your skin.
When he eats you out, he leaves bite marks and hickeys around your thighs.
He calls it “marking his territory” then has to explain himself because no he doesn’t mean you’re a territory, you’re not a place or an object
 he just
 you’re his partner!
He’s rough.
Likes doggystyle most, but then he gets upset that he can’t see your face and next time he sets up a mirror.
Quickies. He can’t wait. He’ll whine if you tell him NO he can’t fuck you under the blanket, because YES people will notice the movement.
You might want to settle and pull him into a bathroom and let him fuck you over the counter, but he won’t force or beg you to the point of you giving in or anything. He’ll wait if you really mean no.
He’s got a high sex drive
Very likely to be pretty kinky. He’d be willing to tie you up, spank you, degrade you, etc.
He won’t do pet play. Thinks that shit is weird. So don’t think that because he’s a dog user, he’s gonna act dog like or have you act dog like. In fact, he’s more likely to hate it as a dog user.
I think he’d find any roleplay to be useless though. You could convince him if you wanted, but he’ll complain.
Hinata Hyuga
Much more intimate and gentle sex is what she wants
She’s not a pillow princess. She literally fantasizes about pleasing her partner.
Like probably day dreams, gets lost in her own thoughts, then is a blushing mess when she realizes that somebody is talking to her and she’s imagining what your moans would sound like when she’s between your legs, ESPECIALLY if the person talking to her is you.
She likes to do it in private, but she can’t deny that she imagines doing it where you both currently are. Not that she would.
Secretly has a high sex drive
Long refractory period though. She needs breaks between rounds.
Neji Hyuga
Took him a while to get vulnerable enough to take off his clothes if he’s being honest
Also I think Hyuga’s are very reserved and conservative until marriage, but he has such a tough time following that.
He really wants to jump your bones. And it’s almost like the fact he can’t because of his clan’s reserved and traditional nature just makes it WAYYYY more tempting.
You’re literally irresistible to him
Secretly, he’s just a little bit of a pervert. (Like Rock Lee’s Ninja Pals says he is)
I think he would have wet dreams from sexual frustration. Like the longer he holds back from having you under him, the worse it gets. Like a disease with no treatment.
I think your first time with him would be sudden, and it would be his first time ever.
You’d look WAYYYYY to good, and this time he can’t bring himself to ignore the boner he gets. No he’s gotta see if you’ll indulge him.
He may stop and pull away, get his act together if you remind him of his clan’s pride, and how he was so bent on following it before.
Maybe the first time, but by the next time he tries to give in, there is no try. He is cancelling any plans y’all had and tearing the outfit that made your body look so irresistible off.
He doesn’t have a super high sex drive, but he has such a hard time resisting just laying you down when you look so damn good. You are the reason he’s horny.
He loves when you ride him, and he WILL whimper. He tries not to, but Neji can’t be silent with the way you are squeezing him. The way you do it is so perfect, every bounce is drawing a noise out of him until he’s literally just letting out a stream of loud whimpers as he cums.
I think his cum would actually taste good. Next question.
Rock Lee
Perverted

He feels bad for it when he catches himself, but Oop it’s too late
 he’s got a boner
Boners are obvious in that green spandex

He wouldn’t agree with doing it in public or semi-public though, but if you noticed his behavior or boner and pulled him off into the bathroom, ignoring his “this is indecent!” Protests because when you look at him before diving in to give him head, his eyes are literally pleading and he shuts up, pushing his hips towards your face.
He can’t be quiet so you’ll have stuff something in his mouth or cover it with your hand.
He secretly wants your chest in his face. He’s a chest guy. Boobs, pecks, whatever. He loves everything chest.
But he also loves ass. Small or big. Wants to grab a handful anyways.
Total switch
Because listen, he loves to pin your hips down and force you to accept the pleasure you’re trying to deny yourself.
Loves to pound his hips against yours until you’re a mess, but he also loves to do as you say.
He loves to be broken down until he’s in pieces by your mouth, body, words, whatever.
He whimpers like constantly, especially when he’s submissive. He tries to shut up when he’s dirty talking as he’s in charge, but he lets GO otherwise.
Tenten
I’m sorry her portion of this will be
 lacking. I don’t know enough to say much. I love her, but I’ve never really thought about this at all.
I think she’d be a switch, but prefers to be in charge.
I think she’s depend greatly on you though.
If you don’t want to bottom/sub, that’s good.
Or vise versa.
She likes to take her time when she’s in control.
She’s fairly willing to try new things if you want to.
She enjoys going down on you most of all.
Gaara of the Sand
He’s very private about everything. He believes that his private life and his kazekage life should stay relatively separate. However, it is known that you are his partner. That’s no secret.
He’s not super into PDA, so it’s no surprise that he refuses to do anything risky or public in anyway.
He will not do it in the kazekage’s office. He has too much respect for it, but he also doesn’t want to get caught anyways.
He’s very intimate during. Slow and sensual for sure.
I can see him being into bondage, but like you get tied up, not him. But
 depends. And might take some encouragement.
Refuses to hurt or degrade you for any reason. He only does praise. He could not bring himself to call you names or anything. Or to draw blood from you or hit you, etc. he doesn’t see why those things should be brought into the bedroom for “fun.”
He doesn’t think they’re fun.
He knew like nothing about sex before you. I actually think he’d have no idea how to initiate at first so you definitely initiated it.
I think he’d be the type you have to teach what to do a bit, but he gets the hang of it quickly. Then next time, he’s got every spot memorized.
Awkward. Like the first couple times were awkward, but romantic and cute.
Kankuro of the Sand
One word: kinky.
He likes to degrade you with a shit eating grin on his face. His degradation feels like a compliment most of the time though. Like he calls you a slut and it feels like he’s calling you a prince/princess. It’s confusing.
He’s so good at dirty talk. He’ll have you writhing in your spot, desperate for him and he’s not even touched you yet.
He’s got incredible patience when it comes to you. He takes his time breaking you down into a mess for him.
His face paint would 10 billion percent be smeared across your thighs and chest. Your neck is purple from bites AND his face paint to the point you can’t tell which is which.
Only when you wash off the face paint do you realize he left way too many dark hickeys that’ll probably take at least a week to fade away.
Confront him about this and he’ll just laugh.
Don’t tempt him to leave more, because he will.
He forces you to maintain eye contact when he goes down on you. If you look away for more than like 3 seconds, he give you a little tap as a warning, but twice and he stops.
Orgasm denial for sure. He would be the type to make up an excuse as to why he pulled away. He tells you all sorts of excuses. “You weren’t moaning enough.” “You moved your hips too much. Stay still.” And of course, “you looked away.”
He can make you cum hard almost every single time. You see stars.
The most fun part for him isn’t dicking you down, it’s the breaking you apart and putting you back together again.
Temari of the Sand
Dominant. Dommy mommy for sure.
Even when she decides to “sub” or “bottom,” she’s not doing a good job at it. She’s still telling you what to do, where to move, etc.
She’ll pull your hair, slap you, etc. as long as you are okay with it and want her to.
Loves to boss you around, telling you what she wants. Demanding you to please her.
“Get on your knees”
Head pusher for sure, but you two have a like physical que to let each other know when it’s enough.
All that being said, sometimes she really really just wants sweet, slow sex. Intimate nights filled with nothing but love.
She likes to keep all of this private though. No public or risky stuff.
However, she does like to do it beyond just in bed.
Would be the type to start kissing all over your neck, unbuttoning your shirt while you’re trying to cook breakfast.
You might want to turn the stove off.
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athenamikaelson · 2 months ago
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Klaus Mikaelson x Soulmate!Reader x Elijah Mikaelson Pt. 19
Word Count- 6.4k
Warnings- UNEDITED- I’m tired, and this chapter kicked my ass, swearing, violence, VOMIT- A LOT OF IT, liquor, underage drinking, Theo, Klaus, Stefan
I’m losing it. Or at least I’m about to. 
“C’mon, Y/n, it’s not that hard
just paint, for Christ's sake.”
I lift up my paintbrush, which I’ve been holding for the past 15 minutes, and dip it into the dark blue oil paint sitting next to my easel. The easel is currently holding a sickly white and blank canvas. The whiteness practically mocks me as I lift up the paintbrush and keep it a millimeter away from the canvas. 
I furrow my eyebrows and continue to hold the paintbrush for so long that some of the paint on the brush is about to slip off.
“UGH!”
I throw the paintbrush back into the water cup next to me and stand up, running a hand through my hair. This is how it’s been for the past week. I sit down in front of this stupid easel and stare at it for fucking hours, and yet nothing comes to me. No inspiration, no sense of creativity, nothing. When I was younger, painting and drawing were things that would ease my soul, but as of now, it’s something that is just pissing me off. Technically it’s not the painting that’s pissing me off, I guess. It’s my creativity or lack of it. 
A buzzing in my pocket has me grabbing my phone and answering it, “What?!”
“Pukey, we’ve really got to work on how you answer calls,” Demon laughs from his end of the call. 
“What do you want, Toad,” I huff as I rip off the painter’s apron covering my jeans and place it on the seat I was just inhabiting. 
“That’s a new one,” He says, and I can pretty much see the smirk on his face as he says it, “Anyways, I have something to tell you. It’s kind of big, so you might want to sit down.”
I scrunch up my face at his words, “Did someone die
other than Ric?”
“What? No. No one died.”
I release a breath, put Damon on speaker, and then walk over to my closet to find a different shirt to wear.
“Are you sitting down?”
I roll my eyes, “Ya
sure.”
“Okay
”
At Damon’s dramatics, I groan, “Demon, if you don’t stop talking, I’m going to hang up. And then you’re going to have to talk to one of your other friends
well, if you had any.”
“So you’re admitting we’re friends,” Damon sasses back.
“Damon! Speak!”
“Damn, woman, fine! Elena and I kissed
well, technically, I kissed her. And I think she kissed me back. I mean, I hope she did. Do I hope she did? Ya, I do.”
At Damon’s confession, I glance at the floor-length mirror on my closet door and watch myself blink rapidly, my face contorting from shock to anger.
“Damon
”
“Ya?”
“I’m going to stick my foot up your ass.”
“Please don’t.”
I quickly grab a light blue sweater off its hanger and then throw it over my head and shoulders, “Too late. I’m coming to your house now, and then when I get there, I’m going to beat you up.”
“I’m actually leaving now, so we’re going to have to postpone this little meetup.”
I huff as I grab my phone and take it off speaker, “Damon, you did something again without thinking.”
Damon is quiet for a moment, and then I hear him sigh, “I did think about it though, Y/n. I’ve thought about it a lot.”
“She’s your little brother’s girlfriend, Damon. The little brother that spent a summer in hell with the devil himself to save your life.”
“I know
 But for once, I just
 nothing. Never mind,” Damon softly says, and my heart clenches when I hear his tone.
“Damon
”
“Don’t tell anyone, ok? I don’t think Elena wants anyone to know.”
I nod, even though he can’t see me, “Ya, sure, Damon. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Thanks.”
Before I can say anything else, Damon ends the call, and I sigh. Can things in this town get any more fucking complicated?
“Y/N!”
I quickly go into alert mode as Theo bursts through my bedroom door with tears in his eyes.
“Theo! What’s wrong?! What happened?! Are you hurt?!”
I quickly run over to my brother and grab his shoulder, trying to asses him for any injuries. Thankfully, I see nothing externally wrong with him.
“He’s gone!”
Theo practically wails like a banshee as he throws himself dramatically into my arms, putting all of his weight onto me. 
“Jesus, Theo! Words give me more words! Who is gone?!”
Theo leans back to look down at me, “My precious baby boy!”
I shake my head frantically, “Jeremy! What happened to Jeremy? Is he hurt?”
Theo pushes off of me, resulting in me almost falling backward. I turn and watch my brother as he throws his tall body onto my bed, grabs one of my pillows, clutches it, and then positions himself in a fetal position. 
“Theo, explain!”
Theo throws his head back, and with one more wail, he looks up at me, “He’s leaving town! For some weird ass state like Ohio or some shit! Can you believe this horror, Y/n!? He’s LEAVING ME!”
I take a deep sigh of relief and then rub my temple with my index finger, “So he’s not dead?”
“He might as well be! He is to me, at least! That hoe just dropped the bomb on me that he’s leaving me
 leaving US
and I’m supposed to be okay with this?!”
I watch my teenage brother go through his tantrum with a bored face. 
“Theo
”
“WHAT WOMAN!? Can’t you see that I’m going through something here?!”
“Theo
 never mind,” I stare down at my brother and then just sigh. I walk over to him, grab my blanket, and throw it over him, “I’m guessing you’re not going to school?”
Theo peers his head out from the blanket and glares at me, “In this condition?! How do you expect me to live?!”
I blink at my brother and then cover his head back up. “As much as I’d like to stay here and work you through
whatever this is,” I grab my backpack and keys from my desk. But it’s Caroline’s birthday, so I’ve got to go to school.”
Theo doesn’t say anything, and I stand there for a moment, watching the blanketed lump on my bed. “Don’t forget to drink something.”
“Like what!? BLEACH?!”
“I’m too young for this,” I say to myself as I close my door. 
—-
“Hey, Y/n,” Elena smiles sheepishly as I meet her at Caroline’s locker.
I stare blankly at my friend as she tapes up a pink streamer to our friend’s locker, “From the look on your face, I’m guessing you heard.”
“Oh, you wouldn’t believe the things I’ve heard this morning, Elena Gilbert.”
“Jeremy needs to leave Y/n; it’s not safe for him here. As an older sister, too, you should know what I’m doing is only in his best interest.” Elena turns to me and looks at me hopefully. I want to argue with her, but if I were in her position and Theo’s life was in danger, I’d make him leave town, too.
“How’d you convince him to leave? Theo’s having a mental breakdown in my bed at this moment, so I don’t know how Jeremy could just leave so soon.”
Elena turns away from me and then quietly tapes another streamer onto the locker.
“Elena Gilbert
 what the hell did you do?!”
Elena turns to me quickly, and her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrow at me, “I did what I had to do to keep my brother safe, Y/n. I had Damon come over last night and compel him to leave town. Jenna is going too.”
I stare blankly at my friend and breathe in and out, trying to stop myself from overreacting. 
“Did Damon do that before or after you guys kissed?”
Elena’s brown eyes widen in shock as she closes the small space between us. 
“How did you know,” She whisper-yells to me. 
“How do you think?! Elena, seriously!”
“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. I, uh, got held up,” Elena and I separate and look over to our witch friend, who frowns at the two of us. 
“Is everything ok?”
I turn to Elena and tilt my head, “I don’t know
is it Elena?”
Elena looks at me and then brightly smiles at our friend, “Yep! We just got here to decorate
. Can you help with the balloons?”
Bonnie frowns slightly at me and then leans down to grab the balloons by my feet. She hands them to Elena who thanks her. 
“What got you running late?”
Bonnie looks at Elena and then back to me before answering, “I, uh, was working on some spells. You guys?”
Bonnie’s lying. 
I’m glancing at her as she fiddles with her fingers. Hmm, it seems like everyone is hiding something nowadays. 
“Working out with Alaric,” Elena says. I glance up and notice Bonnie looking at me, waiting for me to answer.
“Talking Theo off the ledge,” I say casually as I lean down to grab a streamer.
“Wait, what?!”
Bonnie’s frightened voice has me turning back toward her, “Nothing new.”
I smile at Bonnie, who stares at me wide-eyed but still nods her head. I gesture to the sign in her hands and she hands it to me. I tape the sign onto Care’s locker.
“So, uh, I have something I need to tell you. And you’re not going to like it.”
At Elena’s words, I let out a low whistle and then backed away from the two, saying, “This is a perfect time for me to go
away.”
Without waiting, I quickly bolt down the hall so I don’t have to be around for Elena telling Bonnie that she had her ex-boyfriend compelled to leave town. No, thank you. 
I find comfort by a water fountain until I see Jeremy walk to his locker. 
“Jeremy Gilbert, turn around.”
I watch as Jeremy’s shoulders hunch together, and he slowly turns around to face me. 
“Hey, Y/n
”
“Don’t; hey, me. Do you know that my brother is at home right now
in my bed, wailing because his best friend is leaving him? After telling him over a phone call!”
Jeremy frowns and looks down, ashamed, “It was something that I found out I was doing just last night.”
I inwardly cringe at that because it’s honestly not this boy’s fault his sister had her not-love compel him. 
“I know, Buddy. But telling Theo over the phone and not saying goodbye to him in person? Low blow,” I stare at him for another moment before glaring at the kid, “ALSO! Why the hell did you tell Theo about the supernatural!?”
Jeremy cringes and shrugs his shoulders, “He told you?”
I answer him by glaring.
“I’m going to take that as a yes. Well, he deserved to know. I went through the same thing with being in the dark.”
“But that wasn’t your call to make, Jeremy! You’re his friend. Not his sister!”
“Jeremy?”
At the sound of Bonnie’s voice, I let out a sigh and rubbed my temple. “Just go talk to him in person,” I said, pointing at him.
Jeremy nods, and I roll my eyes before pulling the younger boy in for a hug, “Be safe in Ohio.”
“I’m going to Delaware,” Jeremy says, confused, and I roll my eyes.
“Please tell my brother that. I’m pretty sure he’s planning on flying to Ohio to be with you.”
Jeremy lets out a laugh and smiles, “You be careful too, okay?”
I nod, “Careful as I can be.”
—
“Matt move your fat ass,” I hiss to Matt Donovan as we squeeze in together behind the corner of Caroline’s living room. The birthday girl didn’t show up to see the masterpiece we made of her locker, so we decided to move the party to her house. 
“Sorry, Y/n,” The blond boy says as he moves back a step.
“Shhhh! She’s coming,” Elena whispers to us as she and Bonnie stand directly across from us.
The sound of a door opening and closing alerts us, and we jump out, yelling. 
“Suprise!”
  Caroline’s wide eyes look at the four of us, and she smiles, but it doesn’t seem to meet her eyes. 
“Happy Birthday!”
  “What are you guys doing here?”
“Well, you uh blew off school and missed our, uh work of birthday art,” Elena explains as Care walks over to us, inspecting our poster and birthday crowns we’re all wearing, 
“Change into warmer clothes; we’re going to the falls. S’mores, campfire,” Bonnie tells her, and I nod excitedly. 
“Cake,” Elena chimes in, “Like when we were little.”
“Except with tequila,” Matt says, and I roll my eyes.
“I also brought my speaker and my iPod, so I’m going to be DJing us alllll night,” I jump up and down.
Caroline laughs and smiles at us, “Ah, thanks, guys, really. Um
 I’m just not really feeling my birthday this year.”
“I’m sorry, what? You’ve already claimed your birthday as everyone’s favorite day of the year.”
I nod along to what Bonnie just said, “Gurl, be so for real. I haven’t been up for my birthday in years, and yet you threw me a great party. It’s your turn to experience the love,” I say and give her a stern look.
“Ya, well, it’s just a reminder now technically I’m dead,” Caroline retorts. 
Oh. 
“Look, I didn’t even like 17. And the only point was to get to 18. It’s a filler year. I’m stuck in a filler year.”
Elena shakes her head at Caroline’s words, “You’re not stuck, Caroline.”
“Ya, I am. But it’s okay. You know it’s all good. I will be fine. But I just need some time to wallow in it.”
I awkwardly play with my fingers at the tension in the room. 
“Okay,” Elena says, “Well, I think I have another idea.”
—
“Oh god,” I look at the cemetery we’re walking into. You guys realize that this is a horror movie, stupid, right?!”
I turn to Matt, Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena, who all laugh at me, thinking I’m joking. I’m not. 
“Guys, I’m being serious! You know when you’re watching a horror movie, and the dumb blonde makes some dumbass decision that puts her right into the hands of the maniac killer? Ya, that’s us right now! We’re the dumb blondes!”
They all laugh but keep walking towards the crypt. 
“This is going to end so badly! I’m calling it now. So when something bad happens, don’t be pissed off when I say I told you so! You hear me,” I watch as they all walk into the small building while I stand alone in the dark cemetery, “Guys!?”
I stand by myself, debating on going in. A snapping branch from behind me makes me pretty much shit myself.
“Oh fuck this,” I quickly run to the crypt, throw open the door, and shut it behind me. 
“I hate you all.”
“We love you, too,” All four of them say together like some weird ass cult. 
Elena walks over to me, throws her hand over my shoulder, and pulls me into her, “As I was saying
 Technically, Caroline’s dead. Sorry, but you don’t need a birthday. You need a funeral. You need to say goodbye to your old life so that you can move on with your new one.”
I whip my head over to my best friend and gawk at her. Then, I think for a moment and realize for once that her plan wasn’t completely horrible. 
Caroline seems to think so, too, as she laughs. 
“Okay,” The birthday girl takes off her purple tiara and places it down, “Here lies Caroline Forbes.”
“Cheerleader, Miss Mystic Falls,” Elena moves us to Caroline’s cake and starts putting candles on it. “Third-grade hopscotch champion.”
“Friend
 daughter,” Bonnie adds as she walks over to the blonde, “Overachiever.”
“Mean girl, sometimes,” Matt takes his turn, “No offense.”
“Ah, none taken.”
“Best party thrower in the history of Mystic Falls and the most scandalous friend I’ve ever had,” I smile at the blonde, and she smiles back at me.
“You bet your ass I am.”
“She was 17, and she had a really good life,” Elena finishes putting the candles on the cake, and we walk it over to Caroline, “So rest in peace so that you can move forward. That’s what you really need. It’s what we all really need. Amen, or cheers or whatever.”
I laugh as Matt raises the bottle of Tequila in the air. 
“Uh, Bonnie,” Elena gestures to the unlit cake, and Bonnie smiles. We all watch as our witch friend closes her eyes, and a moment later, the dark crypt is lit up by the orange glow of the birthday candles. 
I jump up and down, “Huzzah! Make a wish!”
—
“I love this song!”
I dance around the crypt nursing my root beer as my friends all pass around the bottle of tequila. They offered me my first dibs, but I turned them down. 
I dance by Bonnie and grab her arms. Her laugh echoes off the stone walls as we sway back and forth to “Jessie’s Girl.”
“Uh oh, I need it more than you. Trust me
” Elena says to Matt over the music, “Caroline, what are you doing?”
Bonnie and I swing to look at the blonde, who is currently hunched over her phone. 
“Huh? Hmmm? Nothing.”
Bonnie and I share a look at the blatant lie.
“Okay,” Elena says, “You’re a bad sober liar. You’re an even worse drunk liar.”
Caroline cringes, “I might’ve texted Tyler.”
I blow out a low breath, and Elena presses pause on my iPod, shutting off the music. 
“Until next time, my love,” I lean down and kiss Bonnie’s hand, and she giggles. 
“Caroline
”
“What,” Caroline whines, “I’m delicate.”
Bonnie sits down on the stone floor, “Okay, give her a break. You can’t control what everyone does all the time.”
“Oh shit,” Matt and I shoot an awkward look at each other. 
“Wow,” Elena says to the witch.
“I’m sorry; I know it’s Caroline's birthday funeral or whatever, but I just feel it’s really wrong that you compelled Jeremy to leave town.”
And this is one of the many reasons I don’t drink. 
Elena frowns, “I’m doing it to protect him, Bonnie. I wanna give him a chance at a halfway normal life.”
“He should be able to choose how he wants to live it. You’re taking his choices away.”
Elena shakes her head, “Bonnie, you can’t tell him.”
“Why? Are you going to compel me not to?”
“You know, you guys are ruining a perfectly good funeral,” Matt interrupts
thankfully. 
“I’m sorry,” Bonnie stands up. I’m just going to go sleep it off or something. Happy Birthday.”
I watch with raised eyebrows as Bonnie leaves.
— 
I stare down at Matt’s lips and then back up to his eyes. 
“I’m sorry, I can’t!”
I throw myself back, and Caroline, Elena, and Matt all laugh.
“My first kiss is not going to be with my work husband. I’m a chicken, and I fault on my dare,” I say and raise my hands in surrender.
“Wait! First kiss?!?! You’ve never had your first kiss? What the hell, Y/n,” The drunk blonde vampire throws herself into my lap so she’s straddling me, and I let out a loud laugh.
“Ya, nope. I have no game. No kissing for me,” I say casually.
“I bet Elijah thinks otherwise,” Caroline says seductively, and I shove her off my laugh.
“Shut up!” I try to act cool, but I can feel myself warming up. 
“I’m serious,” Caroline stands up, or at least tries to, “We’re going to go find Stefan, get him to wake Elijah up, and then that hunky suited Original is going to lay one big slobbery kiss on those pink lips of yours!”
Caroline nods to herself as if this is the best idea she has ever come up with. 
“Elijah does not want to kiss me,” I deny.
“Yes, he does,” all three of them say, and I whip my head over to Matt, who is sitting next to me. 
“How the hell do you even know that? You’ve never met the guy
 neither have you, Caroline!”
Matt shrugs and takes another sip of the tequila, “I saw him that day when you, Damon, Ric, and Jenna were at the Grill. And I also saw the way he looked at you when you weren’t looking, Y/n, and that man defiantly wanted to kiss you. Maybe even more.”
My mouth drops open, and I hear Elena and Caroline laughing beside us. “Shut up!”
“It’s true,” Matt raises three fingers, “Scouts Honor! I’m a guy, Y/n. Trust me when I say I know what a guy looks like when he wants a girl.”
I shake my head defiantly, “You’re all drunk and out of your minds.”
The door behind me opens, and I jump. “Holy hell! It’s the maniac killer! I told you all!”
I whip around and then sigh when it’s only Tyler: “False alarm. It's just the dog.”
Matt stands up and glares at the intruder. 
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to crash the party.”
“So don’t.”
At Matt’s words, I let out a little “oop.”
Caroline quickly sits up, “No, uh, it’s okay. Hi.”
Tyler turns his attention to the birthday girl, “Can I talk to you for a second? It’s kind of important.”
Caroline sighs and then nods her head. She begins to walk out, but I grab her hand, stopping her, “If he does anything, just scream, and I’ll be there to kick his ass for you.”
Caroline smiles softly and nods her head. She walks past Tyler, and I shoot him one last glare and then swipe a finger over my throat threateningly. 
After they exit, Matt and I sit back down.
“Are you okay,” Elena asks Matt.
“Yeah, I want her to be happy, you know?”
I smile softly as I stare at the blonde boy. Not many people give him props, but I think he’s a pretty cool guy. If my best friend started dating my ex-boyfriend, I’d lose my shit.
“That’s what I want for all of you guys in the middle of this crazy life you got stuck living.”
Elena frowns, “Is that how you see it? That we’re stuck?”
“I don’t think that’s what he means, E,’’ I shake my head. 
“No, I’d say it’s attached itself to all of you pretty tight, yeah,” Matt says and I just lean back. 
“Bonnie’s right, you know I have no business messing in Jeremy’s head. I just don’t know what else to do. He's in danger here. I can’t lose anyone else that I love.”
Well, this night just got melodramatic. 
—
“Great. We’ve been abandoned. We’re going on a search party. I don’t trust she won’t get back together with him,” Elena says as we step outside, trying to find Caroline. 
Matt stands in front of us with a flashlight. I’m currently clutching onto Elena’s arm as I look wearily around the graveyard. 
“Matt, you go first,” I nod ahead at the boy and then lean over to whisper to Elena, “He’s a guy, so the killer will take him first. Horror movie logic,” I nod, and she rolls her eyes at me and pulls me closer, “I’ll protect you.”
“Let’s hope those training sessions with Alaric have been working, or else we’re both dead.”
“Caroline!”
“Come on, Caroline! We don’t have anymore drinks, and Matt’s being haunted by the fell ghosts,” Elena walks us over to Matt. 
I whip my head to Elena, “Hoe, don’t say that,” I look behind us quickly, “Youïżœïżœïżœll wake them up!”
When I turn back around, though, a scream escapes my throat as Matt is being thrown against the crypt wall.
“It’s the killer!! Run, Elena,” I tug on Elena’s hand, but everything goes black before I can take another step.  
— 
“Ugh,” I groan in pain at the fire coming from my temple. 
“Y/n! Wake up,” Elena’s voice calls from somewhere around me. 
“I got kidnapped again, didn’t I,” I groan as I slowly open my eyes and frown when I realize I’m in the backseat of Stefan’s car. 
“That’s on me,” The vampire says as he doesn’t take his eyes off the road.
“Ya, no shit, Sherlock.”
Stefan pulls out his phone and dials a number before setting it up on the dash. 
“Stefan, you are no longer my favorite Salvatore. And that really fucking sucks because the only other choice I have is Damon, and that’s a low bar.”
Stefan ignores me.
“Stefan, how nice to hear your voice,” I freeze up when a familiar British accent fills my ears. 
“Tell your hybrids to get out of town, Klaus,” Stefan replies.
“Well, that’s not gonna happen until I get my coffins back.”
Stefan laughs, and a lousy feeling washes over me, “Okay, well, then I’m gonna drive your blood source and your obsession off Wickery Bridge.”
Tears instantly fill my eyes, “Stefan, what are you talking about?!”
“Y/n,” Klaus says my name sternly, “Stefan, I don’t believe you. You won’t kill them.”
I let out a gasp as Stefan harshly bites into his wrist and shoves it into Elena’s mouth. I scream when the car starts to swerve as Stefan no longer has his hands on the wheel. 
“Y/n! What’s going on,” Klaus almost frantically yells into the phone.
Stefan sits back and grabs the wheel, “I just fed her my blood. No more hybrids if she’s a vampire.”
“You won’t do it,” Klaus says, and I want to cry because I know he will not relent. 
“Really? Try me because your coffins are next to go. After, of course, I kill your pretty little mate, who is currently crying in my back seat. I didn’t figure it out at first, Klaus, but after some time, I did. Tell me, what happens to a hybrid after their human mate is killed?”
Mate? What the fuck is Stefan talking about?!
“She’s nothing to me, Stefan. I don’t know what delusions you’ve cooked up in that head of yours, but you're being delusional. Kill her, see if I care.”
Tears explode out of my eyes when I hear Klaus tell Stefan that. 
“Stefan,” I sob, “Please don’t! Theo
Theo needs me, okay? I can’t leave him! Please don’t make me leave him!”
Elena quickly reaches behind her and grabs my shaking hand. 
My breathing comes out erratic as I see the bridge come closer to us.
“Say goodbye to your family, Klaus,” Stefan growls as he floors it, and I let out a scream. 
“Stefan, slow down!”
“Stefan, please stop!”
“Fine. I’ll send them away. You win,” Klaus relents, but Stefan doesn’t slow down. 
“Stefan, please stop!!! Klaus, do something,” I yell hopelessly.
“Stop the car, Stefan! Or I swear to god,” Klaus yells into the phone. A moment later, I’m thrown forward as the car comes to a screeching halt. 
I don’t think I’m breathing as I stare ahead wordlessly. My vision is blurred by the thousands of tears flowing down my face. 
“Y/n! Come on,” I feel a tug on my shoulders, and I move on autopilot as I’m being forced out of Stefan’s car.
“Elena, Y/n, get in the car,” Stefan’s voice calls from behind us. 
I don’t say anything as I stare blankly at the dark forest ahead of me. I can hear Elena and Stefan arguing, but I can’t focus on anything they say. All I can really hear is the loud beating of my heart. 
A weight around my shoulders shocks me as I feel Elena weep into the corner of my neck.
“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’m so sorry.”
—
“Come on, Pukey. Let’s go home.”
I look away from the dark pavement I have been staring at for the past 15 minutes and stare up at the blue-eyed vampire who is staring down at me. When I don’t say anything, Damon kneels to my sitting position.
“Shit,” Damon winces and reaches his hand up to softly touch my forehead, “He got you good, didn’t he?”
Damon brings his wrist to his mouth, and I quickly flinch away. 
“Please, don’t,” I say, and more tears fall from my eyes. 
Damon’s face drops, and he quickly puts his wrist down, “Ya, okay.”
Damon stares at me for a long moment as if thinking of what to do. With a sigh, I feel his hands go under my arms and legs, and I’m being picked up. 
“I can walk,” I softly say.
“I highly doubt that,” Damon says back.
—
An hour later I’m sitting on my bathroom floor clutching the toilet. I’ve been throwing up for the past 15 minutes, and I don’t see any signs of stopping anytime soon. 
My phone ringing catches my attention and I go to ignore it until I see Matt calling. Shit. 
I pick up the phone and answer it, “We’re fine, Matt,” I try to get out even though my throat burns. 
“Tyler bit Caroline.”
—
“Y/n? I didn’t think I’d hear from you,” Alastair sounds happy as he answers my call. 
“Alastair,” I stop and take a sip of my water, trying to keep down more vomit. 
“Y/n? What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“I’ve had a long night,” I am able to get out, “I need a favor.”
“I’ll be right over.”
—
Alastair rushes up the steps of my porch, and he growls when he sees the condition I’m in. 
“What the fuck happened? Who did this to you? I’ll kill them,” Alastair kneels in front of me and takes my face into his hands, accessing my face.
“I don’t matter. That's not why I called you,” I try to push him away, but I’m so dehydrated and tired that I really have no strength. 
“Of course, you matter,” Alastair harshly says, “You matter more than practically anything.”
“Alastair, please. I don’t want to fight
I don’t think I can.”
At my weak words, Alastair nods, “Okay, let’s go inside and talk.”
I shake my head, “Elena’s asleep in my room. I don’t want to wake her. Besides, I need you to take me to Klaus.”
At the mention of the Original, Alastair freezes. 
“What? Why?”
“Caroline,” I swallow, a sob building in my throat, “Tyler bit her. I need
Klaus needs to..”
Harsh breaths escape me, and Alastair doesn’t waste any time pulling me into him.
“I’ve got you. It’s okay. I’ve got you, babe.”
“Please, Alastair. I need to see him!”
Alastair doesn’t say anything for a moment, and I’m about to get on my knees and start begging, but I release a heavy sigh of relief once I feel him nod. 
“Ya, okay. I’ll take you to him.”
—
“He lives here?”
I look up at the mansion, which looks like it’s in construction, and frown. 
“We both do,” Alastair comes up from behind me and guides me up a massive staircase to the front door.
“I’m too exhausted to ask you about that right now,” I say weakly, and I hear him laugh.
I take a deep breath as Alastair steps in front of me and pushes open the enormous front door. He moves out of the way so I can enter, and even though the house/mansion is still being built, it’s still stunning. 
“What is she doing here?”
Klaus seems to trigger my waterworks because as soon as I turn around and see him walking over to Alastair and me, the floodgates open. 
“I hate you,” I try to say, but it comes out mostly in sobs.
I feel Alastair place a hand on my shoulder comfortingly, but I don’t take my eyes off of the Original. 
Klaus watches me and then turns to Alastair, “Leave us.”
I feel my lip quiver as I wait for Alastair to follow his orders, but I feel Alastair’s hand tighten on my shoulder.
“No.”
Klaus narrows his eyes at the younger vampire, “What do you mean no?”
“I mean
no. I’m not leaving her. Not in the state.”
I watch Klaus glare at Alastair, and in fear of Klaus hurting another one of my friends, I turn to Alastair.
“Go, I’ll be okay.”
Alastair looks down at me and shakes his head.
“Go, Alastair, please.”
At my pleading, Alastair sighs profoundly and then nods his head, “I’ll be in the other room.”
I stare at my hands as I feel the door shut behind Alastair, leaving Klaus and me alone. 
“Can I sit down, please,” I look up to Klaus with teary eyes.
The hybrid stares at me with furrowed brows before slowly nodding his head and gesturing to a bench in the corner of the room. 
I place myself slowly on the bench and stare up at the man in front of me. 
Klaus stands about 8 feet away, and for the first time, he almost seems uncomfortable. He has an odd expression on his face, his hands are shoved in his jeans, and he keeps switching his body weight from one foot to the other. 
“Why did you do it?”
Klaus looks at me, “I do a lot of things, love. You’re going to have to be more specific.”
The entryway light flickers for a moment, and I let out a groan of pain as I clutch my head. The migraine I’ve been sporting all night is kicking my ass.
“Y/n,” Klaus’ voice calls to me, “What’s wrong?”
I don’t say anything, to focused on my pain, but I freeze when I feel a warm hand run its way through my messed-up hair. I release a quivering breath, and for some reason, I find myself leaning into the touch. Into his touch. 
“Breathe, Astin Min,” Klaus’ voice seems to push through my pain, and I’m able to register his words, “Tell me what’s happening.”
I open my eyes and realize that Klaus is quite literally standing over me. His hand is still soothingly running itself up and down my hair. I also realize his body is quite literally touching mine. He’s standing between my knees, and in horror, I know I was resting my head on his lower abdomen. I fight back the horror and look up to see him already staring down at me, and I feel my breathing stop altogether. The look on his face has my bottom lip quivering. He’s looking down at me with this
softness. His eyebrows are squished together but not in the usual annoyed way. His eyes were once harsh and dark and light and filled with something so
human. 
“I think
,” Klaus nods, waiting for me to continue, “I think I’m going to puke again.”
I quickly lean over and throw up into a potted plant. 
Interestingly, though, Klaus’ hand doesn’t move from my head. It’s now holding back my hair as I defile this plant. 
After I think I’ve finally thrown up everything I’ve ever consumed, I lean back. Klaus steps back a tiny step as well. And if I were a stronger woman, I’d say that I didn’t miss the feeling of him. But right now, I’m not a strong woman. 
“You hurt my friend.”
I look up to Klaus, who stares down at me. I want to sob as I no longer see the once-soft look in his eyes. If it was even there at all. Maybe I imagined the whole fucking thing. 
“I know.”
“Please heal her,” I softly ask. 
Klaus stares down at me and shakes his head, “I can’t do that, Y/n.”
I bite down on my lip as it starts to quiver, “But you can. All you have to do is give me some of your blood, and then it’ll heal her. And everything will be ok,” I let out a small sob, “I need it to be all okay. Okay?”
Klaus continues to stare down at me, and I let out a loud sob when I see no change in his face. 
I stand up on shaking legs and walk towards him. 
“Please, Klaus. I know you hate me. Trust me, you’re not the only one; I’m not a likable person,” I let out a pathetic laugh, “And I’m nothing special, no witch, werewolf, doppelganger, or anything like that. I am not rich, so I can’t give you any money or anything worth value, but
I’m asking you,” I shake my head, “No, I’m begging you, please. Please help my friend. I’ll do anything you ask. Caroline
Caroline’s a good person, and she has a bright future. A bright future that she deserves. She’s my friend, and I don’t have many friends. Not that it matters to you, but
if there’s something I can give you. Please
 please tell me.”
I stand there, pathetically crying, in front of the Original Hybrid. 
With blurry vision, I watch his hand rise, and I close my eyes, accepting my fate, but once I feel his warm palm resting against my cheek and his thumb brushing away my tears, I let out yet another sob. 
“I can do practically anything on this Earth, Astin Min. But, hating you? That is something I could never do. Even if I wanted to
even if I tried.” 
I release a shaky breath, and maybe it’s because I’m fighting a nasty head injury, dehydration, and a severe lack of sleep, but I find myself leaning back into the man. And maybe because I’m a weeping teenage girl
or maybe not, but he lets me. 
We stand there for what seems like forever, Klaus’ arms wrapped around my shaking body. But then I remembered why I had come there, and finding comfort in the man who was responsible made me pull away. 
I don’t look back up to him, but I can feel his eyes on me.
“Alastair.” 
Klaus’ voice calls, and within a split second, Alastair bursts into the room and looks at me—or really checks me over—almost like a worried mother. 
Klaus moves away from me and over to a table in the other room. I watch silently as he grabs a glass, raises his hand to his mouth, and bites into it. He then lets his blood fill the glass. 
“Take this to her friend,” Klaus says, walking back over to us and handing the glass to Alastair. 
I release a relieved sigh.
Alastair nods and then gestures for me to follow, “Come on, Y/n.”
“No,” Klaus’s voice stops both of us. I’ll take her home. You bring that to her friend.”
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creamflix · 2 months ago
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character insert x female reader; 18+ content, minors and blank blogs do not interact. established relationship, modern au. dom!reader. lots of teasing. (addicted to the) weird girl pussy ! #needthat. — masterlist here ☆
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people never quite understood you.
a "weird girl," they called you — quiet, withdrawn, someone who didn’t fit into their neatly packaged little worlds. but what baffled them more than your oddities was the fact that he was with you. the most sought-after man, someone who could have anyone he wanted, yet he trailed behind you like a lost puppy. the whispers, the stares, the judgment — you could feel them everywhere, gnawing at your back as you walked hand-in-hand with him, like you didn’t belong.
“what does she have on him?” “he’s probably dating her for a dare.” “god, she’s so strange, why would he be with her?”
you heard it all. and so did he. but while you brushed it off, your presence sent him spiraling into need. it wasn't what they thought — you had the upper hand here. and he knew it too well.
you caught him staring again, his eyes glued to you, his lips parted like he was about to say something, but didn’t. just the sight of you standing there, minding your own business, was enough to make him lose his composure. his reputation as the confident, cocky guy who could charm anyone disappeared the moment he was alone with you. because when it came to you, he was nothing more than a whiney, needy mess.
he tugged on your sleeve, his voice already trembling. “c-can we go? please?”
you shot him a lazy glance, raising an eyebrow as if you didn’t already know what he wanted. “go where?” you teased, feigning ignorance.
his lips pressed into a thin line, his fingers twitching as they brushed your arm, but he didn’t meet your eyes. “you know where,” he mumbled, voice low, practically choking on his own need.
you smiled, but it wasn’t the soft kind. no, it was the kind that made him squirm. he was the one with the power, the money, the looks — but when it came to you? it was like he couldn’t even think straight.
“what’s wrong?” you asked, voice soft but teasing. you took a step closer, and his breath hitched, his eyes darting to the ground as if that could hide the pink dusting his cheeks.
you heard the whispers behind you again — the mocking laughter, the mean-spirited comments. they thought you were a nobody. to them, you were the odd one out. but they didn’t see how his entire demeanor crumbled in your presence, how the proud, arrogant man they knew became this — a whining, desperate mess, practically begging for your attention.
“can’t we just go home?” his voice cracked, and you couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at your lips.
“why?” you asked, feigning innocence again. your fingers trailed up his arm, watching as he sucked in a shaky breath, his lips parting just slightly. “don’t you like these gatherings?”
his gaze finally met yours, eyes wide, pupils blown, desperation written all over his face. “it’s
 i
 you know i can’t focus when you’re around like this,” he muttered, his voice dropping into a whine that made you want to laugh. how could someone like him get so worked up over someone like you?
but you knew why. it was because he was pussy drunk — so drunk off you, off the way you held his attention without even trying. the neediness in his voice, the way he fidgeted under your gaze, it was all because he couldn’t control himself around you.
“is that my problem?” you asked, your voice dripping with amusement, as you leaned in closer, brushing your lips lightly against his ear. “or yours?”
he let out a shaky breath, his hand gripping your wrist like he couldn’t stand it anymore. “please
 please, i need you.” his voice was barely a whisper now, just a shaky breath against your skin. the confidence he showed everyone else was gone, replaced by this vulnerable, desperate version of himself that only you ever saw. and god, you loved it.
you could hear the wet sound of his lips parting as he kissed your neck, his hands shaking as they gripped your waist, pulling you closer, as if he couldn’t bear even an inch of distance between you. “can’t we just leave? i need
 i can’t think straight,” he begged, his breath hot against your skin.
and you knew why. it wasn’t because he was embarrassed of you, like people assumed — no, it was because he couldn’t stop thinking about you. he couldn’t stop picturing your sweet, slick pussy, couldn’t stop imagining how you tasted, how you felt. he needed you, and he needed you now. but you weren’t going to make it easy for him. not when he was like this — so damn whiney, so desperate, so willing to give in to whatever you wanted.
“you’re such a mess,” you said softly, running your fingers through his hair as he buried his face in your neck, groaning at the contact.
he let out a soft whimper, one that made your stomach flip with satisfaction. “please,” he begged, his voice so small, so needy. “just let me —”
you could feel the way his fingers tightened around you, the way his breath became ragged as his mouth brushed your collarbone, leaving hot, wet kisses in its wake. “can’t
 can’t control myself,” he mumbled between kisses, his voice strained. “you’re driving me insane.”
the sound of his desperation was music to your ears, the way his lips made those soft, wet noises as he pressed them against your skin, the little whimpers and groans escaping him as he lost himself in the moment. he was barely holding it together, practically trembling with need, and you loved watching him like this — knowing that you were the reason he was falling apart.
“what’s the matter, baby?” you cooed, running your hand through his hair again, watching as he looked up at you with those wide, pleading eyes. “can’t handle it?”
he shook his head, his breath shaky as his fingers trailed lower, grazing the waistband of your pants. “no
 can’t handle it,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “need you
 please.”
and god, the sound of him begging was everything. they thought he was some untouchable, cocky man, but here he was, completely undone because of you. no one would believe it if they saw — the same man who commanded rooms and left people hanging on his every word was now on his knees, hands shaking, lips wet, and voice trembling, all because he couldn’t get enough of your touch.
“you’re such a good boy,” you whispered, letting him kiss your skin, loving the way his lips trailed down your stomach, leaving a hot, wet trail. his mouth hovered over your pussy, and he whimpered again, his lips parting as if he could taste you already.
and you? you’d let him have it. because you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.
#needthat
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silkjade · 1 year ago
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alhaitham x mermaid!reader (3.5)
  cw: afab!reader, first time (w. him), lots of teasing, cunnilingus, praise, fingering, unprotected sex, lil bit of size kink + overstim, creampie, fluff???, true love but they don't know it yet — mdni || ꒰ 6.2k wc ꒱   notes: recommended to read the previous part first, but it can stand alone as well ! hope u enjoy my smut debut + reblogs & feedback are always vry much appreciated ♡ next  series masterlist ⋆.àłƒàż”*:ïœ„đ“‡Œ
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When you had taken him up on his half conscious, pseudo challenge to visit Sumeru City, Alhaitham never imagined you’d cause him so much trouble. It’s not in the sense that you’d drawn too much unwanted attention, or that you’d spent his mora on frivolous things. No, it was your lack of understanding for the human notions of shame and intimacy. 
He’s never entirely sure of just how nuanced the unabashed things you say and do are. You’re shameless whenever you’d ask him for compliments point-blank, or when you’d waltz out of the bathroom only half-dressed in his clothes. Other times, you’d surprise him with words so naively honest, brush against him in ways that feel far too tender.
To his dismay, it’s becoming increasingly clear that your actions always come with a price—one that he pays, not with mora, but with his dignity. Much like the smooth caress of the waters you came from, it’s all seemingly harmless, but the depths of your intentions remain aggravatingly unknown. Especially when your very presence is enough to enfold all his senses in a lull of desire.
He runs a hand through his hair before turning the knob of his bedroom door, only to find you in your human form, lounging on his bed, lazily flipping through one of his books. The robe you wear is one of his; too large on your frame, with the silky material falling off your shoulders, dangerously close to revealing too much. 
Not that it isn’t a welcome sight—he is a man after all. And while he prides himself on his exceptional self control, it becomes an issue when he feels himself grow hot and the loose clothes he likes to wear at home begins to feel too tight. He can’t rub one out while you’re here, so perhaps a cold shower might ease his condition

But you’re more perceptive than he’s given you credit for.
“It’s not as magnificent as my tail, but this body is still quite impressive isn’t it?” 
“I’ve never met anyone as shameless as you.”


“Well, I don’t think you’ve ever met anyone like me at all.” You flash him an amused smile, but the sultry look in your eyes relay a different message entirely. He can’t lie, it excites him.
“You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” he mumbles under his breath. To his chagrin, your curious hum cuts through the room and he hears the heavy thud of a book slammed shut.
Of course you heard him. With renewed interest, you swing your legs over the edge of his bed, sauntering over until you’re close enough that he can smell the faint scent of his mint shampoo in your hair. 
“Oh? And what could I possibly be doing to you?” Your fingers walk up his body, slowly, from his toned stomach to his chiseled chest, leaving his skin hot through the fabric of his clothes, “Won’t you enlighten me?” 
You look up, that wide-eyed gaze of feigned innocence flickering into something sharp and dangerously seductive. A hand settles on his shoulder, pulling him in until you’re close enough that your lips are only a hair’s breadth away from his sensitive ears. The other reaches down and ghosts against his obviously growing bulge, before pressing down, palming him through his pants. Alhaitham bites back a groan. 
“Or rather, what would you like to do to me?” Your voice rings low and smooth as silk to his ears. It leaves a wave of desire to bubble in the pit of his stomach, one that doubles down on the dull ache at his crotch.
His mind sifts through a thousand thoughts. Lascivious thoughts, sinful, perverted thoughts that only seem to make their presence known when in your company. Just one glance down at you and he can see how ridiculously easy it would be to untie the lazy knot that’s hardly holding your—no—his robe together. 
“I
” 
It’s hard to think when you overwhelm all his senses, poking at the urges he has so carefully suppressed up until now. His robe, his scent. He’s no fool to the way Sumeru City ogles at you—the mysterious stranger who’s able to so casually hang onto the aloof scribe’s arm. It only makes him want to stake his claim across the empty canvas of your skin as well: his mermaid. Perhaps just this once, he’ll let himself indulge in his own selfish desires. 
“Come on, Scribe Alhaitham,” you emphasize,“use your words.” 
A smug smile forms on your face as you calculate the risks of your next words. 
“Although
if you’ve got nothing to say, why don’t you just show me,” you press close, voice deceptively soft. “I’m more of a hands-on learner anyway.”
For once, Alhaitham lets his body override all sense of rationality, flipping your positions, and pinning you against the wall as he captures your mouth in his. It’s uncharacteristically sloppy and haphazard, with none of the craftiness he displayed on that first and only night you kissed, but it’s intoxicating all the same.
His teeth graze against your bottom lip, demanding entrance, and you’re forced to grasp onto his toned bicep to keep yourself steady as you devour each other with the intensity of all your repressed thoughts. With every second his mouth remains slotted on yours, with every inhale and exhale of breath you exchange, you think that this time, you’re the one who might drown.
He finally tosses you a lifeline once he decides to leave the vicinity of your mouth, and begin his campaign across the rest of your body, starting with the little spot right along the underside of your jaw. Alhaitham takes his time trailing down your neck, catching you off guard when he stops to suck down, hard, on a particularly sensitive patch of skin.
An involuntary gasp escapes, and you can feel him smirk against you, though it quickly fades into a half strangled groan when your hips roll into his. He only continues downward from here, carving kisses into your body and leaving behind colorful little bruises that send liquid fire running through your veins. The further he goes, the more he must uncover, and the only thing standing in his way is the robe you’re hardly wearing.
“Can I
?” he asks in a hoarse whisper, fingers already toying with the sash. 
“Not like you haven’t seen everything already,” you mutter, pulling his face in to kiss him again. 
His free hand snakes down to squeeze your ass while the other tugs on the loose knot, the silky material now free to tumble down your body like a waterfall, hitting every curve along the way. In one fell swoop, Alhaitham takes you to his bed, picking up right where he left off: with a depraved kiss that speaks more than he ever could in relaying the underlying lust that clouds his mind.
“Beautiful.” The word slips out without a second thought. It’s the first time he's ever said it outright. Beneath the fervor, there’s a special sentiment that cushions his tone. It has you buzzing with warmth from the inside out, but whether it’s contentment or embarrassment, you don’t know. Biting your lip, you turn your head to the side, refusing to meet his gaze. 
He finds it infinitely amusing that for all your openly brazen flirtations

“You’re not getting shy on me now, are you?” 
You respond by stubbornly grappling at the edge of his shirt, nails grazing against his muscled abdomen in the process. The startling sensation crackles through his nerves, sending his cockhead twitching in delight. 
“It’s only fair I get to see you too,” you mumble, in what little time you have between kisses. Alhaitham pulls away, a brow quirked in mild amusement. Pausing, he takes this chance to drink in the sight of your naked figure for the second time, though tonight there’s no need to look away. 
It’s exhilaratingly surreal to see your body marked by the undeniable testaments of his touch. It manifests on your skin, where you’re decorated with clusters of little bruises signed by his lips. In your chest, as it heaves for air after all the breaths he’s stolen from right out of your lungs. It persists in the way your eyes draw him in, inviting him, daring him to do more. In how your lips, though slightly swollen, wear the same coquettish grin that’s enchanted him time and again. With no other choice but to surrender to your demands, Alhaitham lifts his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side without a care.
You’ve always thought the man to be handsome, but you’re left wonderstruck as your eyes wander across his bare skin. It’s not like his usual attire leaves much to the imagination, but Alhaitham undressed, is still a sight to see. His toned chest and sculpted stomach, well defined arms
 Chiseled by the gods themselves, you think as the corner of your lips quirk just the slightest bit upwards. 
“Enjoying the view?” It’s funny how much his smug smile contrasts with the mottled pink that colors his shoulders and dusts across his cheeks. His skin only flushes more when you trace a finger over the gem on his chest, tantalizingly slow as you make your way down his sternum, and only stopping to lightly flick at one of his nipples. Alhaitham’s breath hitches and you can practically see his muscles as they tense.  
 “Very much,” you answer, hands sinking lower. “So won’t you show me more?”
He catches you by your wrist when he feels you tugging at his waistband, and it takes everything for him to ignore the wanton desperation that’s quickly clouding his mind. It’s difficult, but out of sheer will, he manages to hold back, if only by a thread. 
Gently, he pulls your chin up to face him. Want hides beneath his teal gaze, but there’s a softness that truly shines through, encapsulating the delicate balance between risk and reward.
His hands shift to caress your cheek, before he moves in to steal another kiss. This time it’s sweeter, more chaste. Alhaitham kisses you slow and passionate, interwoven with a tenderness that causes your heart to swell in your chest.
“You sure you want to do this?”
Your resounding ‘yes’ breathes a renewed ardor into his actions as he lowers you onto your back. Little by little, he makes his way down your body, leaving wet kisses everywhere except where you want him most. A kiss here, a lick there—the heat that pools in your belly only grows by the second, but a harsh suck right below your hip causes your breath to hitch and your cunt to drool more in response while you whine and attempt to rub your legs together for any sort of friction.
They are, however, aptly spread back apart when he hooks his arms beneath your thighs and pulls you closer to where he kneels at the edge of the bed. 
“You’re so wet,” he murmurs, “and we’ve only just begun.” Alhaitham lets out a low chuckle as he presses another kiss to your inner thigh. It’s enough to have you shivering in anticipation, the reverberating tremors of his deep voice going straight to your pulsing hole, wet with the slick of your arousal. One of his hands moves to hold you down as you jolt when his teeth graze against the delicate skin.
“Will you please just hurry up,” you’re barely able to get all your words out before your voice breaks into a breathless gasp as he takes you by surprise, dipping his head down to lick a long stripe up your glistening folds and flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue once he reaches the top. 
Talented in more ways than just words, you find out firsthand exactly how good he is with his tongue. Like a man starved, he laps up all you have to give, while your gushing hole happily churns out more slick. But it isn’t nearly enough. Especially not with the way you’re grinding into his face and singing praises to his name.  
Alhaitham doesn’t consider himself an arrogant man, but he’s never loved hearing the sound of his own name more. It falls through your lips in a trail of whimpers, your pretty little cries music to his ears, delicate and lyrical. His tongue prods at your entrance, occasionally dipping into your warmth, and as he closes in, his nose bumps against your puffy clit. It has you keening, and your hands come flying to tangle in his ashen hair as your voice splits into a sharp gasp. 
He takes a mental note of your reaction before moving to suckle on the sensitive bundle of nerves, drawing out another beautifully broken sob. With every exhale, and every swipe of his tongue, Alhaitham breathes life into your cunt—leaving it to drip with arousal and clench around nothing. Your fingers curl in his tresses and you tug hard. The low groan he emits reverberates through your body; the rumbling vibrations of his own pleasure sends you crawling to your high. 
But he soon pulls away and you’re quick to let out a pitched cry in protest. He peers up from between your parted thighs, sharp eyes hungrily taking in the sight of you squirming at the loss of contact. 
“Haitham,” you whine pitifully, hips blindly stuttering in search of his touch, “don’t stop.” 
Oh how the tables have turned. Before him, your tiny hole clamps around nothing and a sly grin creeps onto his face, devilishly handsome and glistening with your essence that so freely drips down his chin. You’ve teased him relentlessly during the span of your partnership, and as per your logic, it’s only fair he gets to do the same.
“Beg for it,” he purrs. His warm breath fans across your folds, sending you into a frenzied fluster from the bottom up, and you feel as if you’re going to melt.
“P-please
” It’s difficult to come up with any words, much less the right words, to say when the overwhelmingly wanton desire for him to just touch you again, has your brain enveloped in a thick haze. “Need you
Haitham please
”
His name, entangled within the sweet pleas that fall from your lips, has his cock twitching again, eager to be freed from the constraints of his pants. But if he can ignore the wet spot forming from his own precum, then he can do the same to the way his hips seem to move on their own, slowly rutting against the bed. He’s a patient man, he can wait. You on the other hand
 
You’re so needy for him, so lost trying to chase your own pleasure, that it doesn’t even register when he wets two fingers in his mouth, unable to process anything until you feel the faint stretch in your cunt that has you trembling in anticipation. His fingers slide easily into your creamy insides, and he only watches in amusement at the way your hips buck, silently begging him for something more than the painfully slow, lazy way he’s pumping in and out of you. 
“You’re already so tight...” He lets out a breathy chuckle as he scissors you open, resisting the way your velvety walls come down, hugging every inch of the digits inside you. “How are you even going to take me, hm?” 
You open your mouth to respond but nothing ever comes out, save for the faint breath of a moan that manages to escape. If you were in the right state of mind, you would’ve been sure to fire back something smart, however, your thoughts have been reduced to fixate on Alhaitham, who’s rather keen on keeping it that way.
He moves his wrist, twisting and turning, relentlessly searching until the pads of his fingers press against a spot just right, that it has your toes curling and back arching off the bed in a loud cry. He curls his fingers, bullying the spongy spot until echoes of your melodic mewls are undeniably present amongst the lewd squelching of your wetness. It sends him reeling and growing impossibly harder—oh how he so adores the way you unravel before him. 
Your body runs hotter than ever and you feel the coil in your belly tighten, ready to snap. You’re going to cum. You’re so close. Just a little more. It repeats like a mantra in your head, but your impending climax dissipates as he draws both fingers back out, leaving you dangling at the precipice with a distressed wail, frustration pathetically painted across your face.
Why did he just do that? Your eyes are large and laced with tears that quiver and threaten to spill down your face. Ignoring your futile attempt at garnering pity, Alhaitham only continues to taunt you.
“Will you look at that?” he says, toying with the messy slick that glosses over his middle and index fingers like webbing, stretching and breaking along to the movements of his hand. It’s such damning evidence of how much you need him, but it’s also somehow mesmerizing, so much so that you’re unable to look away. It doesn’t help that your sopping cunt only weeps more at the sight, absentmindedly fluttering around nothing.
He drags you out of your thoughts as he unexpectedly takes your clit back into his mouth. His hot tongue swirls around your bud, effectively setting your veins on fire, then takes the chance to throw your earlier words back at you. 
“Tell me what you’d like me to do,” he says, mouth never leaving the little nub.
You want him to make you cum, is what you want to say—or rather, you want him to let you cum, considering how he so cruelly ruined your earlier orgasm. But it all only translates into a litany of unintelligible whimpers, and Alhaitham smiles, the mischief twinkling in his eyes now glaringly apparent. He can’t help how endearing it is, that you, who always has so much to say, is now struggling to answer even the simplest of questions.
“Use your words. I want to hear that pretty voice of yours.”
“I want
 I need
” you’re only able to make out a few words in between your ragged breaths before you’re interrupted by your own broken sob as he sucks down hard on your abused clit.
“Hm? What was that?” 
“Want to cum
” you choke out, eyes sliding shut as you try again with your best efforts.
The latter half of your sentence warps until it rises an octave and melts into a shaky moan. Alhaitham barely gives you just enough time to finish before three lithe fingers find their way into your cunt without warning, slipping past your wet folds with ease. The dull pain of an added finger stuffed into your tiny hole, has you keening, your own knuckles turning white from your steel grip on the bed sheets. 
With a sweep of his tongue, he laves over your swollen clit again, sending shivers through to your core as you feel the tension return in your abdomen, this time wound even tighter from the way he continues to fuck your already sensitive cunt.
“ ‘m so close
please,” your breath catches in your throat as you whimper and squirm. “Please Haitham, please-” 
It’s beyond his own belief how he managed to wrangle you into his bed; the beautiful mermaid who had first tried to drown him, who was always so outspoken and bold— now reduced to a begging, whimpering mess on his sheets. For that, he mentally pats himself on the back and decides to take pity on you. 
“Come on, mermaid. Let me hear you sing.” 
Immediately, you feel his fingers curl, right up against the very spot that has you seeing stars, exactly as he had intended. He drags his teeth carefully, lightly grazing your swollen clit, effectively ripping out a loud, visceral scream as you finally tip over the edge in an earth shattering orgasm. 
Waves of pleasure continue to wash over you as Alhaitham finger fucks you through your high,  vigilantly hitting that sweet, spongy spot over and over again without mercy. You’re left quivering, fingers desperately grasping at the bed sheets, trying to find something, anything to hold on to. His hand, the one that isn’t three knuckles deep inside you, moves to hold your hips down as they twitch in the settling overstimulation. 
A satisfied hum rumbles in the back of his throat as he finishes off with an easy kiss to your inner thigh. He finally slows down his movements as you ride out your high, though the shallow, wet noises as he rocks his fingers in and out of you, seem all the more erotic against the backdrop of your dissipating cries. 
“Can’t get enough of you,” he coos. “Such a pretty thing—so gorgeous when you cum for me.” Alhaitham continues to whisper sweet flatteries that have you preening until he feels you clench weakly around his fingers once more. He raises a brow, the beginnings of a small smirk forming on his face.
“Of course you like to be praised.” Despite the lilt in his voice, he draws his soiled digits out with care, though you still shudder as he passes through your sensitive folds.
“Shut up.” 
Even as you sit up to catch your breath, your eyes wander over to the man’s bare upper body, before they drift down to the impressive tent bulging from his pants. Suddenly, you’re made painfully aware of how utterly empty you are. Arousal pulses through you, once again dripping out of your cunt at the thought of being stuffed full.  
Your obvious staring doesn’t go unnoticed; and neither does the way you shift as you’re rubbing your thighs together for more friction. Your shamelessly perverse act only reinforces the thrum in his already rock hard cock.
“Open up.” You do as you’re told, intuitively wrapping your lips around his long fingers, cheeks hollowing as you clean off the mess you had left. It spurs him on, the way you hold his gaze with those large doe eyes, blinking so lasciviously when he draws them back out, leaving behind a trail of saliva that snaps like gossamer on your lips.
“What, haven’t had enough of me yet?” He teases you, yet the slight waver in his voice as he struggles to mask just how much he’d like to cum right then and there, says otherwise. 
“Not nearly enough.” 
Your playful wit is nothing new to him. And while Alhaitham considers himself to be quite well versed in how you love to play coy, an expert in navigating around your flirtations—he’s far from immune to your coquettish displays. He’s only human after all
 
So it’s no fault of his own that you drive him absolutely insane.
Pupils blown wide and dilated with lust, he dips down until you can feel his hot breath on the shell of your ear, “I hope you don’t regret that.” His smooth baritone sends a shiver down your spine until it pools between your already sticky thighs, a vague promise of what’s to come.
Before you know it, he catches you in another eager kiss, rough and hopelessly greedy, as you fall back onto the mattress without a care. It only heightens your sense of urgency that he can’t help but grind into you.
His normal attire barely hides his bulge, but even underneath these loose clothes, the outline of his cock stands tall and unmistakably erect against the fabric—which you desperately need removed now, as you fumble with the waistband. Alhaitham chuckles lightly into the kiss before pulling away. Message received. 
He moves quickly, pants and underwear hastily thrown to the side and forgotten, because how could you possibly think of anything else when he stands before you, hands fisted around his magnificent cock, grunting at the little ounce of relief as he gives himself a few quick pumps. Precum dribbles from the flushed pink tip and your eyes follow as he spreads it along the impressive length. You can’t help but think that it’s
pretty. And oh how you adore pretty things.
He lines himself up at your entrance, cockhead just barely dipping inside as he hovers over you, and for the first time tonight, you realize just how incredibly vulnerable you are now, laid bare before him, ripe for the taking. But it’s okay if it’s him. Whether it’s the fuzziness mulling in your head, or your cunt that’s thinking for you, anything is fine as long as it’s Alhaitham.   
Above you, he swallows harshly and you can see the slow bob of his throat as he does so. “Tell me if you need to stop,” he murmurs. The rasp in his voice makes it apparent that it’s taking every ounce of fortitude not to just slam his entire length into you. 
The first hiccupped gasp that escapes your lips has him smiling smugly as he pushes in, splitting you open with ease from how wet you are. But the stretch as you struggle to accommodate his girth burns despite your previous preparation; he’s just so much bigger than his fingers. Inch by agonizing inch, he stretches you wider, whispering sweet nothings while he stuffs you full of his cock. 
“You’re doing so well,” he praises, though it’s quickly drowned out by the sound of your heart beating in your ears. Every time you think he’s done, he only continues to push further inside. Your head spins at how full you already feel, unconsciously tightening around him and drawing out a choked curse that rolls tactlessly off his tongue. There’s no helping the way his self control fades when you’re squeezing him like that, your needy cunt intent on sucking him all the way in. 
“Fuck,” he rasps. It’s foreign and depraved and so vulgar compared to his usually eloquent speech—not that it isn't also incredibly attractive hearing him lose his composure like that—but it’s even more so especially because you’re the one making him feel this good. Your heart flutters at the thought and the vibrations of another muffled grunt ripple against your skin when you reflexively bear down again.
Alhaitham bottoms out in one final push, sending you reeling at how the thickest end of his shaft forces your little hole to stretch even wider to accommodate the width. A hitched cry leaves your throat and your arms fly to wrap around his neck, pulling him close as he presses soothing kisses along your jaw, though it does little to quell the heat rapidly igniting throughout your body.
“Are you alright?” There isn’t an ounce of teasing in his tone when he pauses to glance down, giving you a moment to adjust while ensuring you’re okay. 
Your hum of approval is all he needs to start moving in languid strokes that fill you to the brim, his shallow thrusts so lewdly squelching to the tune of your wetness. Each slow drag of his cock forces you to feel very ridge and vein as he grinds back and forth, pulling soft mewls out of you until they melt into breathless whines pleading for something more.
“Faster
f-faster please.” 
Who was he to deny you, when you’ve been taking him so well? Sliding ever so slowly, Alhaitham all but pulls out, leaving only the very tip of his cock to kiss your entrance. You don’t even have time to process the jarring emptiness before he slams his entire length back in with a single thrust, powerful enough to send your entire body jostling from the impact. Your back arches in pleasure, your head thrown back in a silent scream as your mouth falls agape, the sound dying before it’s ever able to leave your throat. 
Alhaitham is relentless when he starts fucking you in earnest. The gentleness from earlier is gone, replaced by the callous way he repeatedly pounds into you, burying himself to the hilt every single time. He’s hitting depths you never thought possible, with each thrust sending shockwaves that ripple through you until it scrambles your mind, shattering that last piece of lucidity stubbornly holding you together.
“That’s it. Take it, just like that,” he coos, but you're too fogged over to comprehend his words. It’s clear your mind is currently occupied by other matters; matters such as the chant of his name atop your long string of strangled cries.
He revels at how pliant you are underneath him—so stimulated and keening out in pleasure at everything he does, greedy cunt eagerly swallowing every inch he offers, pulling him in with every snap of his hips. 
His mouth latches onto one of your nipples, sucking on the nub while he twirls the other between his fingers, groaning when your nails dig into his shoulders, imprinting crescents onto his skin. The added stimulation elicits another set of frantic whimpers, and the familiar tightness in your abdomen returns.
“Haitham I’m
I’m so
” Close, he deducts. He can tell by the way your walls close around him.
Half of him wants to watch you struggle with your words in between all your panting and moaning, wants to withhold your sweet release until you can speak properly while he continues to piston in and out of you. The other half, driven by his wanton throbbing, slides a hand over the curve of your ass, lifting your leg to angle himself just right before plunging deep inside you, hitting that same spot from before that had you seeing stars. 
Loud, broken sobs tear through the room as his tip mercilessly drills into the spongy spot with pinpoint precision. Your nails rake down his back, and a sharp hiss manages to escape from his lips. It only fuels him more, makes his movements more erratic. Over and over, hit after hit, Alhaitham delivers an exhilarating pleasure that drives you to the edge of delirium. Warmth blooms in the pit of your stomach threatening to spill over and seep into every crevice of your being. 
It’s too much. It’s so good. It’s not enough. You’re not sure how much more of this you can take. 
“I can feel you falling apart around me.” The corners of his mouth lift in a smug grin, ignoring the fact that his voice comes out in ragged huffs, uneven from his labored breathing.
There’s no use denying how much you affect him as well—not when fire licks his body, coloring his pale skin flush. Nor when his expression is clearly strained, trying so desperately to hold on to his crumbling composure. You’d notice if you still had the capacity to process anything at all, but alas

He lowers his head into the crook of your neck, nipping lightly at the tender skin before switching to your native tongue. “C’mon my beautiful mermaid
give it to me. Cum for me.”
The white hot bliss that sweeps across your body is maddening and it leaves you absolutely shattered. The vibrato in your voice cracks as you scream and sob, body going impossibly taut. You’re desperately gasping for air, drowning in the waves of euphoria that wash over you, but it pulls you in and drags you further down into delirium. You can’t think, you can’t speak. You can’t stop the trembling in your thighs and you can’t stop your cunt from spasming as he continues to fuck into you.
His pace slows but his strokes are longer and deeper, as if he’s trying to ingrain himself permanently within your walls. Your moans rise in pitch, turning to whimpers when his thrusts continue past your orgasm and into the settling overstimulation, his cock still taking from you where there’s no more to take.
You’ve never felt more like a paradox than you do now. Your head is the clouds, while your body feels heavier than ever. You’re painfully sensitive, squirming to get away as he chases his own release, yet your cunt still pulses and begs to milk his fat cock dry.
Weak arms reach up to cup his face, pulling him in for a lasting kiss, breathing him in like the air you so desperately need in your lungs. When you pull away, your eyes are so dazed and lidded, not yet recovered from the intensity of your orgasm, but already prickling with tears from the burn of overstimulation. 
“Make me yours.”
Alhaitham buries his head in the crook of your neck; there’s no hope of keeping up his composure now. In fact, it’s a wonder he didn’t come from those words alone. You already are, he tells himself. There’s nobody else he could ever want; nobody else could ever compare to how perfect you are for him. 
With a few final thrusts, he presses his weight into you and sinks his cock as deep as he can. He lets out a tattered moan and his hips stutter as he follows you over the edge, the warmth of his hot cum spilling into your insides. 
A fleeting thought crosses your mind: Maybe you want to stay like this forever. So warm and tingly and speared open in all consuming pleasure. 
His body slumps against yours, relaxed and utterly at peace. In the numbing midst of his high, Alhaitham’s mind is for once, a couple beats slower than his palpitating heart.
“I love you.” 
He wasn’t thinking when it had slipped out of his mouth. The words came so naturally, rolled off his tongue so easily. It’s too late by the time he realizes just what he’s said; he hopes to god you didn’t hear him, but it’s the only thing you catch amongst all the white noise. He loves you. Alhaitham loves you. 
It replays on a loop inside your head but your jumbled mess of a brain can only process so much right now. “Love
you
” you barely manage to scrape out. He quiets your empty babbles with another kiss, muffling your whines as he gently—though reluctantly—pulls out of your embrace. You shudder and whine at the loss.
“Easy now,” he soothes, distracting you with praises and soft pecks to your temples. To you, the emptiness in your cunt feels all too foreign, but he can’t help but stare at the lecherous sight of your combined fluids dripping out of your hole. He can already picture it in his head; the wet noise of your slick and his cum, all shoved back into you so that not a single drop is wasted

Alhaitham shakes the thought from his head, forcibly tearing his eyes away before his own mind can betray him. He excuses himself before soon returning with a glass of water and a warm, wet towel in hand.
Slowly but surely, your lungs steady, and the fog dissipates, and you’re finally able to anchor yourself back to reality. A reality where your throat is dry, hoarse from all the retrospectively embarrassing sounds he had dragged out of you, and your limbs feel so heavy, as if your bones have all but dissolved into jelly.
“Gonna clean you up, okay?” 
With your permission, he helps sit you up, passing you the glass of water before he begins wiping off the excess fluid between your legs. The towel is rough against the still sensitive skin of your inner thighs, making you jolt. Immediately, he utters an awkward apology, looking up to gauge your reaction. 
Water, split from the sudden movement, drips down your chin. Loose pieces of hair stick to your forehead; the thin sheen of sweat that coats your skin makes sure of that. To look so disheveled yet so gorgeous at the same time
you’re absolutely enchanting in the afterglow. A flicker of pride rushes through him—he did that. The proof was in the bites and bruises littered across your skin. He smiles, sheer adoration present in his eyes. 
Your soft giggle breaks his train of thought. “What are you—” A yawn. “What are you looking at?” The chirp in your tone peaks just the tiniest bit out of your sleep-laden voice, but you’re too worn out to wait for an answer, opting to fall back onto the mattress instead. It’s not long before you fully yield to the exhaustion.
You look so peaceful in your sleep, so human, that he almost forgets you’re not. Still, he wonders how it would feel to hold you in his arms as he sleeps. To wake up beside you and watch as the sunlight illuminates your features.
Would it be selfish of him to indulge just a little more?
Tossing the towel aside, he joins you under the safety of his covers. He wraps an arm around your frame, pulling you close, holding you right next to where his heart beats in his chest. Alhaitham presses a soft, last kiss to the top of your head before he too, drifts off to sleep. 
When morning comes and the golden sun arises, everything will return as it was. Dreams and other such wishful delights are of the moon’s sovereignty, so tonight, let him hold on to this reverie for just a little while longer.
next
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a/n2: This was my very first smut piece so I hope you enjoyed :’) Since this is an extra chapter, I tried not to include any details that would drive the plot too much, but ending it with just a tiny bit of angst to transition to the next part. thank u for reading ! ♡
© silkjade — do not steal, plagiarize, translate or repost any content onto any other platform
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muniimyg · 4 months ago
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⋆𐙚₊˚âŠč bbydaddy!jk (16) ⋆𐙚₊˚âŠč
series m.list // taglist request closed
note: please prioritize your mental health and peace if the following content is too heavy for you. this portion of the plot has a lot of angst, and arguing. overall contains sensitive topics. thank you all for waiting so well for the break-up reveal!
tw: mentions of anxiety/stress/insomnia/ and postpartum depression,, early pregnancy loss (5 weeks), and self-neglect.
đŸ·ïž permanent taglist:
@joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo
//
"so... jungkook moved back in, he bought you a new car, and this entire time you've been broken up—you've been sleeping with him?"
it feels stupid to confess everything to your therapist.
you’ve been avoiding this for 9 months now. 
today it has to be settled. 
it has to be over. 
this feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you want to throw up over and over again until you have nothing left inside of you. your lips tighten at the way your therapist blinks at you. you've never really been able to read her, but maybe that's what you like so much about her.
sometimes, it's nice not to know and just to take what people say as they are.
"he's not actually moved back in... he just has more closet space."
your therapist notes something down on her pad. then, she looks at you and simply comments, "i see... is that all you think it is? more closet space?"
"y-yes? n-no... no. okay, it's not like we're not back together though..." you begin to explain yourself.
"but you've been sleeping with him the entire time you guys have been broken up?"
you make a face.
your therapist tilts her head and lets out a light sigh. 
"i'm not judging. you two are adults. you both have needs. you both need each other. you both love each other. i'm just clarifying that—"
"okay, yes," you yield. "i have been sleeping with my babydaddy but haven’t gotten back together with him... i mean—we kind of are? to be fair, the break-up wasn’t a real break-up... it just grew into one. i take the blame for the dumping because i was the one who pulled away. so inevitably, i can't help but feel like a villain in all of it... am i? am i the villain? zion had this whole thing about what family is like, a home with another kid from his daycare, and it... it made me feel so guilty. jungkook and i talked about it and worked on it... i know he doesn't blame me, but every time i bring myself closer to... what do i even call this? ... forgiving him? forgiving myself? i d-don't know... all i know is that... every time i want to move on and just be happy—with him. with zion... with my life—i can't find it in me. i pull away, and it hurts everyone around us. sometimes, i wonder if they know it hurts me too."
"what does that mean?" she asks, her tone soft and curious. "good job getting that off your chest. you're doing great, ___."
mumbling a 'thank you,' you sigh and shrug your shoulders. honestly, you can’t think. your mind goes blank. she then sits up, fixing her posture. leaning forward, she makes her observation.
"___, you broke up with jungkook 9 months ago because of the circumstances. sure, he was supportive and understanding, but sometimes, when everything gets too much, the only person who can fix you is yourself. ___, it was a lot. it was heavy. one thing I've noticed about you is that you think and speak as if everything has to be this big thing. you know your emotions are bigger than the problem, yet you suppress them. it's okay to feel them because when you don't, you start to lose yourself. sometimes, it sounds to me like you want to burn the room down for people to empathize with you... for people to see you. for you to see yourself even."
"i don't want to burn anything down—"
"it's an analogy," she explains. "the truth is, for you, being burned out isn’t a thing until you can’t get out of bed. burnout is as simple as not wanting coffee anymore. sometimes, it's losing yourself to stress and anxiety... and people see that. jungkook, your friends, and your parents saw it. you don’t have to prove it. ___, you can’t keep pushing yourself until you can’t run anymore. you have to slow down. you have to let yourself be tired and learn how to rest."
you nod, agreeing with her take. then, you make another confession.
"i understand that," you take a deep breath. "but it’s like
 before i knew it, i was upset and unfit for our relationship. i screwed up too early. that's why i broke up with him... but now... i don’t know. the guilt and blame keep pointing in different directions. i don’t know what i'm doing, and i can't do that. i can't not know when it comes to the father of my child and the love of my life."
your therapist purses her lips and offers you a small smile.
"then, ___... is it possible that things are better now? that it's more than his clothes in your home? that the room isn’t burning anymore? is it that maybe... finally, you’re realizing that being tired and burnt out is a part of life? ___, you’ve done nothing but get everything right since your childhood... to let your feelings—good or bad—be true and big isn’t a flaw. it’s you being human."
her words hit you, but not enough to stop your insecurities. with shaky eyes, you ask her, "w-what if i do it again?"
"do what again? burnout?"
"what if i fuck up everything about my life again? my career? motherhood? jungkook and i’s relationship? it hurt so bad... to wake up next to my family and not feel anything. it was so fucking hard... i couldn’t even pretend that i was okay. a-and when i asked for some air... he wasn’t even mad at me. he packed his bags and lost his breath from crying so much. at the door, he asked me if i was sure... and even though i wasn’t; i said yes...." you explain, your voice growing quieter with each word.
suddenly, everything feels so heavy. 
if there was ever a time to understand and relate to the feeling of the world being on your shoulders... this would be that moment. taking a breath, you compose yourself.
"i can’t do that again," you vow. "i can’t change my mind."
"you can’t change your mind again or you can’t hurt like that again?"
you pause.
"9 months ago, my mind kept going back and forth whether or not jungkook cared about me," you confess. "but i recently realized he does. he has. he always will... i just don’t know if i can trust him the same as before... i think i’m a horrible person for thinking that. weird, right? especially with how fucking horrible i am to him now."
"that’s not true." your therapist disagrees. "___, it was traumatic. you went through a lot—"
"—and i will never understand how he held himself together. when he was accused of plagiarism at his company, i took those accusations and sued until jungkook’s name was spotless. it was hard on both of us. he didn’t want me to go that far because they were his coworkers—his ‘friends’—but why... why was he so pathetic then? those people were out to ruin him. they quit the company and went to jyp. they proposed work that belonged to jungkook... it was a conflict of interest! when jungkook launched his work with hybe, jyp accused him of plagiarism. hybe cut ties with him and his company gave him so much shit for losing hybe. and i, his girlfriend and mother of his child, risked my career to focus on his case instead of my clients. i chose him. i did everything to fight for him. then, he told me he wanted to settle and stay at the company... i couldn’t believe it... he had his reputation on the line—his career! mine was too and all for what? because he didn’t want to embarrass his friends? because he didn’t want to cause the company more trouble? then, what about me? what about us?"
your therapist looks at you with sincere eyes. she nods, taking your words in. 
"___, does he know you’re still upset with his decision?"
"yes," you sigh, recalling how betrayed you felt. "w-we don’t talk about it. how do we? it felt like i wasted 2 months of my life and we lost our—we lost."
your therapist reaches over and offers you the tissue box. you didn’t even realize you were crying... but the silence between you two and the ache from the words that you just said begins to sting your chest.
after a few moments, your therapist softly tells you, "___, i don’t think you left him because you didn’t love him... i think you left because, despite everything, you did. that hurt because it meant loving him and putting him before yourself... on top of that, you were at a state where you should have been put first."
you gulp.
she purses her lips and makes her hit.
"___, do you resent yourself for the loss?"
you clench your fist as your therapist rubs salt into your open wounds. "the self-neglect? the stress? the post-partum depression? the insomia—"
"i resent myself for the loss," you admit. "... and i resent jungkook for losing me."
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when you arrive home, jungkook is in the kitchen cooking. 
you didn’t expect him to be home. he was supposed to be picking zion up at this time and you were looking forward to some alone time. clearly, you have a lot to think about. as you take off your shoes, jungkook turns his attention to you.
“hi honey,” he smiles brightly. 
truth be told, he had a long day. he was running late this morning and had rushed out the door. as he drove to work, he got annoyed with himself. 
he forgot to kiss you before he left. 
so you can imagine just how excited he is to see you now
 especially with all he has planned for tonight. 
“we had a meeting today and it ended early. it went really well so i have some news! also, i picked zion up right after my meeting. took him out for a little father-and-son afternoon... then, i dropped him off at your parents—”
“why would you do that?” you snap, putting your things away.
jungkook chuckles. “uh, maybe because i wanna ask you something tonight
”
your body stiffens.
“but we’ll get to that later! do you want to eat first? i’m cooking your favorite—”
“please stop,” you shut your eyes and take a breath. “jungkook, i had a long day. i’m glad yours was good and you got to bond with zion. i appreciate the effort—i just don’t
 i don’t like that you dropped zion off at my parents after picking him up early from daycare. why didn’t you just take him home? and thank you for cooking... but i had a late lunch today, so i’m not hungry.”
“is it so bad i want to spend time with you alone?” jungkook asks, his smile fading. 
jungkook isn’t stupid. 
he knows you’re not in the mood, but he can’t help but push your boundaries a little. besides, communication is always good, right? at least, that’s what he’s been told. 
“it’s okay if you don’t want to eat... as long as you ate today. what did you eat?” he attempts. 
you move past jungkook as he asks you the question. taking out your phone, you check for any missed messages. jungkook’s eyebrows furrow as you ignore him. he catches your waist and guides you against the kitchen counter. grabbing your phone from your hands, he puts it aside.
“woah,” he pouts. “what’s up? why are you acting like this?”
you look at jungkook and hate yourself. his eyes are so kind and full of love. 
you know it. 
you feel it. 
it hurts so bad.
“what’s with the mood?” he asks, more gently this time. 
jungkook moves his hands from your waist to wrap around you. he nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck and hugs you tightly. “if you’re mad at me about something, that’s okay... but be angry here. don’t ignore me. being angry together is better than not being together at all.”
his plea makes your eyes tear up.
this isn’t easy for you either, but to be honest... it’s now or never. tonight, your heart feels especially heavy. you can’t blame it. some people say time heals all wounds—perhaps, this is it. 
this is the time limit.
“can i tell you my news?” he asks, partly trying to stall the conversation and partly because it was good news. 
“sure.”
“i got a job offer,” jungkook says. “i’d have to do an informal interview but it’s basically mine if i want it. they’re setting up a branch in new york. they want me to go there for 3-6 months and help start everything up. guide and mentor the visual director there—”
“that’s amazing—”
“i don’t want it,” jungkook chuckles. “they told me to sleep on it and make my decision in a month. until then, they offered me a raise! isn’t that great?”
your smile drops. 
all of the feelings you’ve been trying to regulate since you stepped out of your therapist's office today feel like they’ve gone out the window. was he serious? he declined such a big step in his career—for a raise? 
“jungkook,” you croak. “do you know why we broke up?”
he pulls away. 
what a fucking switch up. he doesn’t understand. 
for a moment, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. does he reach out to hold yours or keep them by his side? he’s caught off guard. he doesn’t know how to answer you and frankly, he fucking hates this question.
“uh, why are you asking me—”
“what was the other thing?” you ask, already suspecting it. “are you going to ask me to marry you tonight?” you blurt. 
he shoves his hand in his pocket. 
“jungkook, are you asking me to marry you tonight? yes or no?”
he blinks at you. 
his heart is prepared more than ever; “yes.”
“don’t.”
jungkook’s heart drops.
“don’t because you’re saying no or don’t because you want a better proposal?” he attempts to lighten the mood with a smile. he takes his hands out of his pocket and reaches for yours. you don’t let him take it. instead, you shake your head.
“don’t because you don’t even know why we’re broken up.”
instantly, the tension between you two increases. it’s through the roof, actually. it feels like one wrong word, one wrong move, one wrong recalled memory—everything crumbles.
everything fails.
everything faces the end.
“___, i can’t answer your question because i’m not prepared to. honestly, i wasn’t prepared for the break-up. it just happened. it grew into one. ___, you never said, ‘jungkook, it’s over. we’re broken up.’ ... no. you said, ‘jungkook... i can’t breathe anymore. i need air. i need space from us,’ — that’s what you said. but to hell with that, right? we’ve been sleeping together and it’s not like we hate each other. you love me. i know you do... so i really don’t understand why you won’t marry me despite knowing the simple truth—”
you move away from him.
god, it’s so hard to be next to him sometimes. 
heading to the cabinets, you take out a glass and pour yourself some water. drinking it, you hear jungkook sigh and groan in frustration.
“are we really going to fight tonight?” he asks, annoyed.
you shrug and put your water down. “shouldn’t we? it’s kind of overdue.”
jungkook scratches the back of his head. his lips tighten and his mind is already dizzy as he asks;
“___, why did you break up with me?”
a beat.
“i wanted more from you.”
he looks at you confused. “the fuck does that mean? sex?”
you shake your head.
“jungkook, i was moving up with my career. you were constantly annoyed that i was overworking myself and that i only cared about zion. you were always mad at me when i brought up work—especially about yours. you didn’t want more. you refused the promotions and all the different leadership roles. you refused more hours—you refused to grow
 just like now.”
jungkook huffs. “is this about money again? we’ve never had issues providing for zion and this lifestyle.”
“again?” you chuckle. “honey, it wasn’t about the money. at least to me, it wasn’t. i love you and would have married you regardless of my career path and yours—”
“then why won’t you marry me? you always say you will but you say shit like this. you know it fucks me up, right? this isn’t fair. you can’t keep changing your mind.”
“it’s not that i don’t know what you are to me and what i want,” you take a deep breath. it feels painful to be right. “it’s that marrying you isn’t going to make any of this easier. at least, not right now.”
his eyes are filled with hope. 
hope that maybe the reason is childish and not what he knows it really is. he hopes it’s because he left one too many socks inches away from the laundry hamper in your bedroom. he hopes it’s because you got tired of him always queuing his karaoke songs in the car before yours. he hopes it’s because (not really) you actually took an interest in nam joon or something.
most of all, he hopes it’s not what he knows it is.
“jungkook, we were disagreeing on everything. you thought i was greedy for wanting more for myself—for our family—”
“so it’s about whether or not i accept the job offer? i still have a month to think about it. i can’t just leave you and zion. you get that, right? i don’t just leave.” jungkook scoffs in disbelief. “and you act like i didn’t just get promoted. i accepted it, didn’t i? i did so to impress you because i love you. i did it to win you back because i love you.”
“but why didn’t you do it for yourself?” you fuse. “why can’t you want more for yourself?”
“___, i love you—”
you hiss, taking a step away from him. “stop saying you love me when you—”
“when i what?” jungkook steadies his tone. “when i made a decision that you didn’t like? ___, i made a practical choice back then. what other option did i have?”
“you chose wrong,” you cry. “is that what you’ve been waiting for me to say? jungkook, you chose wrong because you were afraid! it wasn’t practical. it was safe. you took the settlement, forgave those friends, and looked stupid while doing it. meanwhile, i risked everything. i fucking fought for you! for what? jungkook, it ruined us.”
jungkook shifts, taking a step closer to you. he runs his hands through his hair and groans.
“___, they have a family too. they fucked up and they apologized. i didn’t go through with the lawsuit because regardless if they deserved it—their families didn’t. their children didn’t. for fucks sake, one of them has a daughter zion’s age—”
a sob escapes your lips. 
jungkook’s shoulders slump as he lowers his head. you lower yours too, feeling your tears roll down your cheeks.
“jungkook, i love you,” you weakly admit. “i swear to god, i have never loved anyone more in my life than i have ever loved you. you’re the kindest man i’ve ever met. you empathize with others and put them before your needs. you chased me around like a fucking dog for the last 9 months, completely disregarding any self-respect. truth be told, you gave me a purpose to live. you made me zion’s mom and the love of your life. in so many ways, i don’t deserve you
 but i also don’t deserve this. it feels like even when i can't trust you—i still do. it ruins me, jungkook.”
angry, jungkook disagrees.
“what are you fucking talking about—no. don’t say shit like that.”
“you kept me together for so long that i don’t know how to fall apart if you’re not around. jungkook, i had to fall apart. i was so tired then. i was so unhappy and everything you did to hold me together only angered me. it lit this fire inside of me and i felt like i couldn’t touch anything or anyone
 why couldn’t you just be sad with me?”
“you fell apart before i could even process what happened—” he recalls, tears threatening his eyes. “___, i was devastated beyond belief. i was sad too. i was afraid too. you don’t think i wanted to cry in bed all day with you? i had to get up. i had to take care of zion and i’m sorry if i held onto you tighter than i should have—but i had to. there was no other way i could’ve lived if i didn’t hold on to you like that. you’re my air. i love you, ___ and in case you didn’t know; it hurt me too. losing our—h-holy fuck. i love you. ___, i love you. please, i love you so much—”
you sob.
you don’t even try to hold yourself together. a heavy cry escapes your lips and jungkook instantly lifts his head and comes to you. he wraps you in his arms as you cry into them.
“i love you,” you whimper. “i don’t blame you for it—really, i don’t. b-but why did you stay? i worked so hard and you chose to stay. i stressed myself out and couldn’t sleep. i felt so betrayed and i wasn’t eating—”
“i know, i know,” he murmurs, holding back his sobs. “i hate myself for it. it was my fault—”
“don’t—”
you pull away and hit his chest. 
your eyes sting from all the crying and your throat feels dry. yet, every fiber inside of you feels like it’s on fire. it feels like you’re burning down the room and all jungkook wants to do is slow dance in it.
“jungkook, when you settled, it took something from us. something beautiful—our second—our time.” you slow your breathing to gather the courage to say it. 
to say everything. 
to say it all and maybe, save it all.
“honey, i d-destroyed and hurt more than you did... and i know you don’t blame me; but am i ever going to stop blaming m-myself?” you sob. “i’m pushed into t-this... corner where it’s all my fault—and it is, you know? if i hadn’t stressed myself over your case and just f-focused on making partner at the firm—if i had just i-ignored the f-feeling of the knife you twisted—it was supposed to be this time around.”
jungkook’s heart breaks.
“9 months...” you say, voice trembling.
“don’t say it like that,” jungkook begs. “my love, i didn’t forget.”
that’s just it.
he hasn’t forgotten either.
yet, his body doesn’t ache like yours does. as much as your heart wants to forgive and find beauty in this tragedy—your body hasn’t healed. all those months ago, when you focused on jungkook’s case and stressed yourself to the bone—you made a mistake. you neglected your health to prioritize everything but yourself.
your breath hitches as you recall everything. a part of you feels relieved to have said it all aloud, but inside, it feels like something has burnt up—like a part of you has died.
you reach for him, cupping his cheeks in your hands. jungkook’s tears spill over, and you gently wipe them away with your thumb.
his body collapses into yours. his sobs wrack his chest as he buries his face in your arms.
jungkook cries for the break-up.
for the hurt that’s grown between you two.
he blames himself even though deep down he knows it’s not his fault.
the ache in his chest feels unbearable. you tighten your hold on him, bracing yourself for what comes next, but before you can speak, your body gives in.
everything does dizzy and you hold your breath.
suddenly, your knees hit the floor, and you collapse in front of jungkook, the weight of it all too much to bear.
“i’m s-sorry,” you choke out. "i can't—fuck. i'm so heartbroken, jungkook. i can't—"
jungkook drops down beside you, pulling you into him. as you cling to each other, you feel his heart racing, his breath catching in his sobs, mirroring your own. he holds you tighter, as if he could take all your pain into himself. if he could, you know he would.
and somehow, in the midst of this overwhelming pain, you feel the strangest thing.
this has to be the most painful moment in your entire relationship, but it’s also the most healing.
after nine months of distance, you finally grieve together.
the grief overwhelms you two.
after what feels like an eternity, you manage to compose yourself, pulling away from his embrace. meanwhile, jungkook is still crying heavily. you reach up, cupping his face in your hands again, wiping the tears from his swollen eyes. he leans into your touch, his lips pressing softly against the palm of your hand, his breathing slowly calming down. but then, he moves closer, and you know what’s coming next.
jungkook tries to kiss you.
you push him away gently, your heart breaking all over again.
“... i think you should go home,” you whisper, your voice tired and cracked.
"___, please—"
"we fought enough tonight. i don't have anything left in me, jungkook... just go."
for a moment, silence hangs in the air, thick with everything left unsaid. there's still more. he swears it. he knows it because his heart races with so many more confessions. so many more things he has to tell you.
like the fact that when you cleared his name, he never felt so loved in his life.
like the fact that when you stressed yourself over him and got upset with his decision—he wanted to take everything back.
like the fact that when he let you cry in bed all day over the loss, he cried as he held and fed zion in the living room.
but now is not the time.
now, the hurt aches and he has to let it. he has to let you fall apart. he has to feel this too because if he doesn't—then he misses it all. he misses everything and he can't do that.
he needs to know.
he needs to learn.
he needs to love.
jungkook swallows hard, his voice barely a whisper. “okay
 whatever you want.”
you both stand, your movements slow and heavy. you watch as he gathers his belongings, guilt and disappointment twisting in your stomach. at the door, he pauses, eyes closed as he takes a deep breath.
“what about me?”
his voice breaks the stillness. you feel your heart sink.
“what about you?” you ask softly, though you already know the answer.
“___, i don’t want to go,” he pleads, desperation creeping into his voice. “i
 i can’t do this. not again.”
“what do you mean?” you force a weak smile. “this is our first break-up.”
“for real?”
you let out a sad laugh, though it holds no real humor.
“for now.”
jungkook takes a second to compose himself.
“i’m gonna pick up zion and have him sleep over at mine... and it’s okay if you’re still full
 just eat a late dinner,” he murmurs softly, eyes cast downward. then, turning toward the door, he looks back one last time, his voice soft but filled with emotion.
“for the record, i thought i was home
 but if air, space, and time is what you need, so be it. just know, i hope i’m it in the end. i hope i’m what you need.”
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they say the 3-year itch is when the sand timer runs out. it takes two people to flip it over and restart the clock. at your 3-year itch with jungkook, suddenly your careers were where you two scratched.
then, the plagiarism accusations came along. as horrible as it was, you thought this was the perfect opportunity to show jungkook how much you love him. how much were you willing to do for him, and how much could your career benefit you two? at the peak of all this, you didn’t know it.
you were carrying more than just work.
at 5 weeks, 1 week after jungkook settled—time was up.
jungkook sits in his car, crying and staring at the ring that should be on your finger. he can’t help but feel all the sides of it. he shoves it back inside the box and opens the glove compartment. throwing it in, he continues to reflect. 
was he insensitive? was he so wrong about not wanting to take the job? the proposal was ill-timed, but was he crazy? weren’t you two doing better? 
 were you hurting all by yourself this entire time? of course, he hurt too. he was just grieving differently
 does that make this his fault? he doesn’t know. he doesn’t care. in the end, losing something is still losing something. 
truth be told, it’s no one’s fault. 
yet, jungkook hits his steering wheel and continues to sob. he wants to blame something. he needs to. as he searches, his heart screams out;
time.
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